AIBU to be annoyed by MIL gift

[Halle71]

I will precede this post by admitting that I am a bit OCD about our house after a 1.5 refurb, and my MIL and I have not always got on but we are ok now although my DH is a bit twitchy about us.

It's my DD's 7th birthday on Sunday and various packages have been arriving from Amazon for her from my MIL who lives in NZ. Today my DH told me that the main package is due today - a keyboard.
That's cool I think. Until he shows me the link. It's almost a metre wide with its own stool. Her room is in the loft with no free wall - bed, full length wardrobe, juliette balcony and chest of drawers so it would have to go somewhere else. Our house is big by London standards but not huge and we don't really have any spare place for it to go. Don't get me wrong, the new kitchen diner where we spend most of our time, is filled with toys, but they are tidied up at night and again, there is nowhere it can go neatly against a wall (I also think that these keyboards are ugly and she will get bored and it will just gather dust). The other packages are learning tools for it so she is expected to learn to play it properly. I told my DH that I'm not helping (we can barely fit homework and swimming lessons in the time we have available) and he said she can teach herself. If it was that easy piano teachers would be redundant!
It will also be the cause of endless arguments with her and my 3 year old DS yawn...
It sound overly dramatic but it is a present that will just make my life harder.

I'm pissed off that she didn't talk to us - I would have suggested a smaller, cheaper 'starter' keyboard that she could use at the dining table or office desk.
She also has 'form' for this - the trampoline that arrived unannounced for her 4th birthday when we were in our old house with its 15' garden - all 10' if it. Sat in our hall for 2 weeks waiting for Amazon to pick up. Oh, and they had been to our house so not like they were thinking NZ gardens.. And as for the crazy battery toy animals she insists on buying - we spent £11 on batteries for the bloody dog last week!
I get that she wants to give surprises but when it's something with practical implications I think it would be polite to check. My mum wouldn't dare do this

To be honest.... You don't sound like a very nice person to me.

I'm going to let her have it without stand/stool

Excellent :)

You might find the bag's included. Depends on the package she ordered.

You can definitely learn piano on a keyboard. I am not a musician (but am quite musical) but both my children do piano. Until very recently we had a keyboard for them to practice on.
Lessons at school.
I wasn't entirely sure about the benefits of piano lessons but I have to say it's been the best thing - yes these things take time and space but it might just be fabulous for your daughter.
If you give it a go at least you'll know.

Can't all be perfect eh, Summerwood? 😇

Unbelievable how you can come onto a forum to try and get a bit of perspective on something that is like, a zillionth of who you are, and some bi-atch who knows nothing else about your life, makes a judgement about your whole personality.

In your opinion, notcontent. Again, v judgemental. Luckily, generally I am verycontent with my lot so if this is all I have to worry about.....
DD is much more excited by sports - swimming, climbing, running, dance, gymnastics, than she has been my music so far (although that's only based on school recorder lessons).

Anyway, halfway through decorating DDs birthday cake and need to go to bed.

Grufallo, would you mind sharing as to why piano lessons have been the best thing? Considering for my two

Oh and OP, my grandmother bought me a keyboard when o was ten. It was big! I was absolutely not a musician, very very sporty.

I LOVED it!!

Wow. Your poor MIL.... How dare she buy presents for her granddaughter.
I've seen way to many angry MIL posts lately aimed at MILs that help & go above & beyond to do their bit but still can't seem to win.
To be honest, you sound like you need to relax. Pretty sure every one of us here knows what it's like to be busy. Perhaps substitute some of that 'playing games' time to teach her (if that's what she'd prefer to do with your time together) and be appreciative that you have a giving and supportive MIL in your life. A lot of people don't.

Yanbu. I live in a small 3 bed semi. Every new thing creates hassle, even a small bag needs somewhere to go and there is no space left. End up with piles of stuff everywhere.

Seriously OP, I simply cannot believe you are being so selfish. There are a few very simple options which would allow you to accommodate this lovely gift;

• give up work so you can accomplish more during the day and therefore leave time at night to coach your daughter in playing the keyboard

• give away your son. That would give you more time and do away with the problem of him being an irritant during keyboard time

• move to a bigger house

• hire Richard Stillgo to come and give her private lessons

I just can't believe none if these have crossed your mind? How dare you come on here to moan about such a thoughtful gesture by your mother in law.

it was a generous but not well thought out gift, if they are keen on a musical education , it may have been better to ask if she has expressed an interest a specific instrument, however, you have it now, so I would let her play around with it for a while, and then maybe book either 15 or 30 minute lessons and see how she gets on, it may spark interest in other musical instruments later on, and in my opinion it is important to give children the opportunity to develop musical skills, I know of plenty of adults who wish they'd learnt an instrument, but none who regret it.

This particular gift is not too bad - we have a similar keyboard that I asked for for all of us at Christmas. When not used we stand it upright in an alcove. It has a function that the user can follow the tune as the notes light up - so you don't have to have lessons. We have a 3 year old who plays with it too. I do understand about fending them off but that is any toy and any 3 year old. You do have to understand that NZ houses are big and space not as big of an issue. Plus internet shopping is not as common so MIL probably doesn't think about logistics and sizes of things. It's nice she can order stuff. My family in NZ are so hopeless that all they can do is order out of season clothes rather expensively and can't give us what the kids actually need. It's easier And cheaper for me to order. Why not in future do a wish list on Amazon for her to order from? Keep the keyboard for a bit and if it's not being used sell in eBay.

Wow some of these responses are a bit harsh, you already said you were a bit OCD, which I know is an awful condition to have to live with in practice, even though people tend to joke about it. I have a tiny house and my MIL has a tendency to either buy total tat, or shop about 5 months early and gets stuff I was thinking about getting myself. The later shows she really understand and cares about my kids sometimes and I have to try and bite my tongue. The former is 'i think' some kind of therapy for herself and the things she wanted but never got as a child. She has been more housebound recently and we fell into a happy pattern of me offering to help her out by 'picking something up on her behalf that I thought the kids would like.' This generally works well except for the odd 'surprise' when someone else took her shopping. I did have to drawer the line however when she started to declutter her house and we started getting weekly gifts of toys, obviously bought for and rejected by older grandchildren. Mine are the youngest of quite a few grandchildren. I'm struggling to fit everything into my house as it is and I had to resort to pointing out I had no more space and suggesting very firmly that she keep these offerings at her house for our children to play with there, (she really has nothing for them to play with usually and we end up going round armed with a selection of toys each week.) This seemed to work as she only kept a couple of smaller more relevant items and the rest got despatched to a charity shop. Unfortunately with your MIL living abroad this won't apply to you. She does sound very generous, but never-the-less a metre long keyboard would be a pain to store. Perhaps you could ask your husband to thank her kindly for the keyboard, but ask her to check with you before sending anything so large again. Maybe as she seems keen for your child to learn an instrument, she could contribute to formal lessons in lieu of presents in future. Or take your child to the theatre or similar when she visits instead, my mum suggested that with mine and I love it. (With regard to the batteries, invest in rechargeables and a charger, best investment I ever made for kids toys... it should be on every baby shower list.)

Drawer? - sorry 'draw'. I should really proof read my messages

I live in a tiny terraced house with a cobbled yard. My MIL (who has form for trouble making) recently sent an item similar to a big trampoline that neither fitted into the garden nor would have a safe landing patch. MIL has been to the house and knew this was the case so I was very polite and just told her it was being sent back. I suggest you do the same, be firm. Anyone wanting to jump down my throat hasn't met my MIL, she pointed out the way I clean my house is 'very working class' (that's a term of offence to her although not to me) and I just can't type out the racist stuff I've been treated to over the years. Not every gift is a nice thoughtful gesture.