Hubby watching porn

[SarahJane333]

I'm not sure why this bothers me so much but yesterday morning I took the children to school, normally this would take about 35 minutes but I decided to drop them and leave as I couldn't get parked so I arrived home 15 minutes early. Dh normally leaves for work either just before I leave for school or just after but he was still at home. He was so startled when I walked in, rushing to put his clothes on and overly chatty about how early I was. After a few minutes I told him I thought he was acting shifty and wanted to know what was going on. He said nothing, was all lovely and affectionate and left for work. He pops back in twice for different reasons, meaning he's now going to be very late for work - something which can't happen when I want a hand with the school run. I think he was hoping to get hold of the laptop to delete the search history, which I've checked and shows he was watching porn. Now is it just me or is that a really strange thing to do at that time of the morning?!

Aibu to be really hurt that I'm rushing around getting our 3 children to school plus looking after our ebf baby and he's sat at home, by himself, having a wank? Not to mention that I'm not very happy with my body at the moment but I'm still making an effort, we had sex two days ago. Plus the dishonesty, he knew I knew something was off, I asked him what was going on and he acted like I was being paranoid, which I'm not generally. Wwyd now?

Kali

If you don't like porn, it doesn't make you a prude.

Quite I am more than capable of getting sexually aroused at the sight of my naked wife without involving a host of other people into the equation.

Blindsider I don't have the time to be parading around in the buff every time Mr Elbows fancies a quick wank!

Flying elbows

Aaah, there is a misunderstanding I didn't mean for wanking purposes, I don't wank either - I meant for jiggy jiggy.

"Blindsider I don't have the time to be parading around in the buff every time Mr Elbows fancies a quick wank!"

So you delegate the job to other, possibly abused and exploited women?

Where did I say that, Bertrand?

Bertrand

So you delegate the job to other, possibly abused and exploited women?

I think you are over reading into what was a light hearted exchange

Why is it only ever the women who are exploited in porn. Whey never the men. Why can the women who are involved in porn never be the ones making and distributing it? Your narrow view of the industry is as harmful as saying there is zero issue at all.

Blindsider I'm glad you read my post I the lighthearted way it was intended

Bertrand, not that it is any of your concern but Mr Elbows has a fine selection of images in the wank bank. His favourite model is not exploited or abused. I can guarantee that because she's me. I am a fully consenting adult woman making a choice I am happy with within a mutually respectful relationship of 20 years.

blindsider

Some on here (not me) would find it hard to believe that some men don't use porn ... I expect they'd be even more incredulous with your assertion that you don't ever masterbate! (which is what I've deduced from what you've said)

CarlGrimesMissingEye i said the same thing but nobody answered me

"Why is it only ever the women who are exploited in porn. Whey never the men"
It usually is women. But I have mentioned men and said "people" on several occasions.

Itsmine- I have never said that I thought all women involved in porn were exploited. I have said very clearly that some women choose to work in the sex industry.

FlaShang

You are correct. I can't say I never do but it isn't more than once or twice a year. But I am 53 and having sex 3 or 4 times a week which is more than adequate.

blindsider
Sounds like you have a very healthy sex life, especially for your age - that's great. No wonder you have no interest in porn though!....

I wonder if porn tends to be used more when there is an imbalance in sexual appetites in a relationship... If a man wants it daily, and his partner is happy with monthly, it's easy to see how porn becomes the answer...

Followyourart Yes, people need clothes, but they don't have to shop in Primark? People can still make ethical decisions, and it's not hard to do.

Surely this isn't hard to grasp, can you try?

Of course people can and should make ethical decisions. Including about pornography.

You seem to be saying that until such time as all other unethical consumerism is stopped, there is no need to do anything about pornography.

I notice that none of the "pro porn" people (can't think of a better term, sorry) are even beginning to address the question of how you know whether the porn you are watching is exploitative or not.

Has this actually been answered yet? Maybe I've missed it, but I have seen skirting around the question but no one has actually answered it properly.

My own question- How do you justify the fact that you might be watching people who have been exploited? How do you justify taking that chance?

An aside I know, and I'm not so naive as to think this isn't presenting Primark in the best possible light, but unless the link is a pack of outright lies, they do seem to be in promoting the ethics of their production:
m.primark.com/en/our-ethics

Could the same be said for any mainstream porn producer?..... Let alone the ones on the shady margins.

"Its been answered numerous times."

Has it? I must have missed it. Indulge me. One more time, please.