Guest helping herself to food

[limon]

AIBU that a 10 year old guest has just helped herself to food at my house without asking?

It has really irritated me. And she's got really bad table manners - eats with her mouth open very loudly.

LaContessa what I used to do, when my DC were small...5 or so and had friends to play, was to lay some snacks out for them where they could see them and tell them that they could help themselves.

I'd do a "picnic" tea with sandwiches and little cakes etc and then once they'd eaten, I'd make sure there was still some bits out for them to pick at if they wanted to.

I would not have told her off, of course not, but to ask me if she needs anything, probably use that as a signal to put some snacks out, fruit, cheese, crackers, crisps, some biscuits for them that I am fine with. I do NT want kids clearing out my fridge and making a mess in my kitchen.

I would be a bit annoyed because that's not the way I would like my children to behave in someone else's house but agree that some parents probably don't have the same house rules as me. I do find kids that ask for things all the time on playdates really annoying, but that's probably down to my personality, especially when they demand sweets and fizzy drinks. I took my daughter and her friend to a soft play centre (both 9 at the time) last year and bought a jug of squash to drink but that wasn't good enough for this friend, she wanted a slushy. I said no on more than one occasion and when she persisted in telling me that she didn't like the squash I eventually cracked and gave her £5 note (all I had in my purse) to go and get a bottle of water or a fruit shoot. She came back with a slushy, a packet of monster munch and a chuppa chup lolly. I was gobsmacked. Mental note to self - never give a 9 year old a £5 note 😯😂

Sorry if this is mentioned somewhere in the thread, but where did she take food from? Did she go into your cupboards or take it from a table, etc?
If she went hunting for food, then yes its cheeky. However, there could be a range of reasons why she did this. I don't think its necessarily her fault or that she should be reprimanded. Id just politely say 'In our house we....[do this]'.

Eating with mouths open is something I really hate. Why do parents allow this? When my daughter copies someone doing it I tell her not to. I recognise my hatred of this is possibly not usual though! (Look up misophonia on the Internet). Again its not the child's fault.

I have just given this more thought and Imagined this happening at my house. As mentioned above, I would explain to the child that its not polite to take food without asking,but would say they are welcome to have some, so long as they ask first.
However, in the back of my mind, if a child opened my fridge and just took and ate something, I would be concerned - are they really hungry? Fed enough at home? I would then go out of my way to ensure they received enough food to fill them.
Who knows, could be an issue at home?

We have "our house" rules. If a friend breaks a rule, they get a gentle reminder. No fuss, no trouble. One of the rules is, we don't help ourselves without asking a grown up. If a friend asks our girl for something to eat, she asks us first. As for table manners, I'm a bit of a stickler for manners generally but beyond reminding children to say please and thank you, I wouldn't correct another child. As for the hands plunged into the potato salad, I'd have asked the child to go and thoroughly wash their hands if they were going to put them in to bowls of food, otherwise they should use the spoon. Nothing to do with manners, just never sure where little hands have been!

YANBU. Sorta. Well a little but I can understand as it has annoyed me recently too.

We've recently been evicted due to landlord selling our house. The place we were offered was disgusting and took over a month to make it habitable enough to move in. Over a grand to sort the house, two rents, deposits, two council taxes and of course moving fees from service suppliers to say the least. So in other words, we're skint. Brassic. At this point Tesco value food is the fancy stuff. Lol

The kids are being fed the essentials right now. DD1 had a friend over (10yo) and she helped herself in the fridge too.

I told DD to inform her friends to ask first in our house, after all, DD wouldn't be allowed to just help herself in ours either.

I would say getting your child to inform her own guests of house rules isn't unreasonable and you won't be upsetting anyone.

The thought that people go round thinking these things (or going on AIBU) instead of just kindly saying to them to let you know if you'd like something to eat is quite horrible. Some people have no social niceties on how to deal with small things like this. Ridiculous. Anyway, why was the poor girl no offered anything. Children are always hungry after school. I always offer a drink and something to eat after school to my DCs and friends. It's called hospitality.

Must be a generation thing. Our daughters friend did the very same. Walking past the fruit bowl she just picked up an apple and started eating it. Not a please or thank you. When I asked what she was doing she said, I was hungry. Politely said do not take any more without asking in future. What else can you do?

Walking past the fruit bowl she just picked up an apple and started eating it. Not a please or thank you.

What is a fruit bowl if not an invitation for people to help themselves to fruit? Does the rest of your family have to ask before they take something from it? I'd just be happy that someone was having a healthy snack.

why is she in your house?