AIBU to want to protect my Dad's money?

[Dazedandconfused28]

My DH and I are in the process of buying a house - a large proportion of the deposit being inheritance from my Dad - who died when I was much younger. The money has only just been released after the sale of his property.

Whilst we are very happily married, I feel that it would be foolish not to protect this sum of money, more so because I feel like it is my Dad's. We plan to split the mortgage repayments 50/50 - and we've both saved towards the remainder of the deposit & associated costs. We don't yet have children together.

The problem is whenever I have tentatively raised the subject of protecting just that sum of money (with say, a written declaration of trust) he becomes incredibly offended and says I'm acting as though this is my property, not ours - which is not how I feel at all. I'd welcome your thoughts on this matter! AIBU?

I certainly wouldn't, derxa, but many people marry partners who have all of the above downsides, and worse. It's perplexing to say the least.

I still don't see how people can consider the joint account thing to be a red flag until we get more information either. Perfectly possible for a couple to have joint finances but prefer not to have a joint account.

Only if the couple both prefer not to have one. If one of them wants a joint account then refusing without a very good reason is a red flag .

Why? And what would you call a very good reason? Personally I'd find your viewpoint rather red flaggy in a partner, and that's from one of a couple who have shared everything pretty much from day one. A joint account isn't some a priori assumption, that you have to give a good enough reason to be permitted to duck without black marks against you.