To find it annoying if men try n do certain things for me, like open car doors or help with chairs

[LardLizard]

Ffs I can open the car door myself and seat down at a table without help

buffy thanks for the insight, i'm pretty clued up on the gender thing, but while i get the feminist angle, i like to pick my battles and don't see the point of challenging every pc point that might offend, it seems that some women are passive aggressive for the heck of it.

The thing is buffy, whatever I say I'm automatically going to get shouted down to because from my experience feminists think it's ok think they have some sort of moral high ground over women who aren't. That's honestly how I feel. Isn't that then missing the point of feminism? That we all have the choice to be one, and don't judge women that aren't? Some women like myself are happy being the way we are, we don't want to be 'educated' in the 'career' of being a feminist.

I hope that came across as genuine, no goadiness intended.

I'm female and I open doors for some people like those who have their hands full of shopping, the elderly, someone who a problem, etc and I hold doors for those who are just behind me. To let a door close/slam in someone's face is the height of rudeness imo regardless of if its a man or woman behind me.

Op try being married to an arse of a man who couldn't give a shit if you were struggling, then get divorced and raise kids, run a home, and work on your own for years and if anyone randomly opens a door for you and gives you a smile or a good morning you will appreciate it! Life's fucking hard enough without getting offended over someone trying to be polite or thoughtful.

As far as parking cars go it's a huge generalisation to say the men park better than women. But it has been proven that men can judge distance, space slightly better than women due to the Sparta ability, it's a fact not a sexist attitude.

Buffy you word things really well

"Yes Bertrand resort to abuse, very clever. hmm"

Yeah, well. I found your complete misrepresentation of feminism and what feminists have said on this thread rude, ridiculous and offensive. But apparently it's OK for you actually to lie about what people have said because feminists are fair game.

"The thing is buffy, whatever I say I'm automatically going to get shouted down to because from my experience feminists think it's ok think they have some sort of moral high ground over women who aren't. That's honestly how I feel."

But you lied!

"According to the rules of feminism stated in this thread, he was a fucking arse hole. I probably should have shouted at him and beat him with his own walking stick for being so sexually suggestive."

This. This is a lie.

Oh dfo Bertrand. So high and mighty, go back to the OTHER thread where you're also getting served.

You know what buffy? If all feminists weren't up in their ivory towers looking down on other women that they think aren't good enough because they don't believe the same as them, and were instead a bit more reasonable like yourself I would probably be more inclined to engage in it all. But SOME people on here are just plain rude

And fwiw Bertrand, I was making a point that an old man holding a door isn't crime of the fucking century. He wasn't patronising me, he wasn't trying to insult me or belittle me, he was trying to be fucking polite. Maybe you should try it sometime.

And everybody on the whole bloody thread agrees with you. Including me.

But somehow you read that as "feminists told me I should have hit him with his walking stick"

If you failed to sense the sarcasm in my comment, then God help us all.

"And fwiw Bertrand, I was making a point that an old man holding a door isn't crime of the fucking century. He wasn't patronising me, he wasn't trying to insult me or belittle me, he was trying to be fucking polite"

And when everyone agreed with you? Including me?

Which bit of that is sarcasm?

The bit about the fucking walking stick. And sexually suggestive. FFS.

Well, yes. Of course.

What about the bit where everyone agrees with you and you lie and say they don't because it doesn't fit with the way you want to think about feminists?

I think that the crux of this thread is rather redundant, actually. Of course one helps people who are weaker, or one holds the door for the following person - whatever their gender - those are just decent everyday manners. Nothing to do with being feminist or being patronised. But the holding the door open for a lady, pulling a chair out, helping on with coat etc etc - how many men under the age of 65 still do this? I certainly can't imagine that many do. Perhaps a few public school, army types - but that's not going to amount to many.

Women of 70+ did have men running round them, and they expected it. So many older women just sit there when the car draws to a halt and expect their dh to come hopping round to their side to open their door. They never fill the car up, or take the bins out, and a whole host of other things.

I think I live the feminist equality dream because I can honestly say that dh has never treated me "like a lady". If I sat in the car waiting for him to open the door he'd think the door handle had jammed.

I really don't understand what you just said

I actually love it when my DP and I go out for dinner, he doesn't sit down until I do, or any other female if we're out with a group. He lets me go through doors first and usually carries the heavy bags when we go shopping.

I am a big fan of equality and am of course very capable of doing these things myself but there is just something "nice" about it and shows that he was brought up to have good manners and show care to his female partners/relatives etc. He will also hold doors open for men and be polite but I'm not sure he would offer to carry their bags

Yes Bertrand resort to abuse, very clever. hmm

You're new around here aren't you (if their posts are a surprise to you)