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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed by a weekend away...

178 replies

lill72 · 07/06/2016 15:35

A weekend with friends and children was organised. I was never fully committed due to personal factors but was always annoyed that the location meant having to take children out of school or at least leaving work early - something not possible for my family. Apparently there are additional traffic delays meaning if you dont leave by after lunch, you will be signifianlty delayed. We can't leave early so now we are really forced to leave saturday morning. If we do this, we still have to pay the full amount for the weekend. This makes it a lot for one night. It is not like I have said I was in, I was almost a latecomer. But it seems like it is all in or not. Even though I was never fully in agreement in the first place. Feel like it suits certain people and I just have to slot it. What is fair?

OP posts:
TeaBelle · 07/06/2016 15:37

I'm confused - did you or another member of your party agree to attend and pay?

BranTriLlygaid · 07/06/2016 15:38

Hmm I think you're being a bit unreasonable. I think you should have figured out if you could fully commit or not before the trip. Make a proper decision to go or not, you can't half commit then moan about it. Who are you paying? Is it friends or the actual place?

Original poster
lill72 · 07/06/2016 15:47

A friend organised and we pretty much had no choice. I could not ommit at the time due to my husbands work so my friend said I could opt in later. I just feel like the friend orgnaised the weekend to suit her and what she could do (ie have fri off) but this was something I could never do.

My friend orgainised and all have paid but me - they offered me an opt in clause. which is great. but they whole scenario was difficult from the start. I said this but they went ahead anyway.we are friends so just thought they may have considered what was possible/not possible for others. ie easy for them to take days off, for us not, driving day late friday makes for a midnight arrival in shared accom - us with a baby.

OP posts:
branofthemist · 07/06/2016 15:50

So you are annoyed the weekend doesn't suit you (but suits others) event though you haven't committed to going at any point?

Yabu

BranTriLlygaid · 07/06/2016 15:51

I still don't understand why you couldn't say yes or no for certain at the time, especially with the circumstances you have given? Surely you could have said 'that doesn't work for me, but thanks for the offer'?

blueskyinmarch · 07/06/2016 15:51

If you were latecomer to something already planned then you can’t really moan about the location. You either go and accept it will be late Friday or early Saturday you get there, or you don’t go at all. You have an opt in clause which means you can also opt out.

nobilityobliges · 07/06/2016 15:52

Well, since you weren't committing you can hardly have expected them to organise it around your convenience! If it doesn't suit, don't go, it seems like that's the deal they've offered you anyway. If you are disappointed not seeing them, maybe organise something for later in the year yourself?

OrianaBanana · 07/06/2016 15:52

Agreed YABU. If you're not opting in from the start and might not go, I don't know why they should have done things to suit you? Why don't you just not go?

ParadiseCity · 07/06/2016 15:53

Is this a reverse?

You have been invited to do something. If you want to, go. If you don't want to then just say no thanks.

Next time you could organise it yourself?

Magstermay · 07/06/2016 15:54

I think if you couldn't commit at the time they were organising you can't ask them to organise around you just in case. If you don't want to go then don't opt in and don't pay!

OllyBJolly · 07/06/2016 16:23

Of course you had a choice - she is allowing you to opt in. If you don't want to go, then don't.

I had great weekends away with Saturday nights only. Leave early on Saturday, whole day Sat & Sun, leave late Sunday.

You're moaning your friends organised this to suit themselves - should they have organised it to suit only you? Is that your idea of "fair"?

whois · 07/06/2016 16:32

You didn't want to go. You said you weren't going. Noe you're moaning becase it its suited to how you want to do the weekend.

Y. A. B. hugely U.

whois · 07/06/2016 16:33

Why can't you just dive up friday night? Why do you have to go Friday lunchtime or Sat morning?

PPie10 · 07/06/2016 16:35

Well are you being forced to go?

Dozer · 07/06/2016 16:37

It's inaccurate to say you "had no choice". You have the choice to go or not!

You sound rather preoccupied with traffic.

LagunaBubbles · 07/06/2016 16:38

A friend organised and we pretty much had no choice

Of course you did - if it didnt suit you could have said this and said no. Confused

araiba · 07/06/2016 16:38

wtaf

either go or don't- your choice

but if at any stage, you have said you will go then its your own fault and you must deal with it

MrsSpecter · 07/06/2016 16:39

Hang in, you wanted them to arrange the weekend to accomodate you despite you refusing to say whether you were actually going or not?

Floggingmolly · 07/06/2016 16:41

Don't be ridiculous, saying you had no choice Hmm. You chose to say yes, knowing it didn't suit you; why??

WhatALoadOfWankers · 07/06/2016 16:45

Reverse ?
Don't go if if doesn't suit you , you won't enjoy it

kslatts · 07/06/2016 16:47

YABU

You wouldn't commit but wanted everything organised to suit you.

Maybe offer to organise next time

GeorgeTheThird · 07/06/2016 16:54

Oh God, I've got a friend like you. Refuses to commit, but expects a say in the arrangements nonetheless. She's a pain in the arse.

Itriedtodohandstandsforyou · 07/06/2016 17:03

YABU I'm afraid. Why did you never commit and organise an early start on the fri with plenty of notice for school and work?

WanHeda · 07/06/2016 17:03

So you chose to opt in, after they had arranged it all, and are now moaning you don't like the arrangements? WTF?

Fairenuff · 07/06/2016 17:04

So don't go then. What's the problem?