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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get annoyed by a weekend away...

178 replies

lill72 · 07/06/2016 15:35

A weekend with friends and children was organised. I was never fully committed due to personal factors but was always annoyed that the location meant having to take children out of school or at least leaving work early - something not possible for my family. Apparently there are additional traffic delays meaning if you dont leave by after lunch, you will be signifianlty delayed. We can't leave early so now we are really forced to leave saturday morning. If we do this, we still have to pay the full amount for the weekend. This makes it a lot for one night. It is not like I have said I was in, I was almost a latecomer. But it seems like it is all in or not. Even though I was never fully in agreement in the first place. Feel like it suits certain people and I just have to slot it. What is fair?

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 07/06/2016 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyCat · 07/06/2016 18:41

Right, Op, here's an idea. Why don't you travel with one of the other people going, with your 18mth old and let your other child/ren travel with your DH when he finishes work? What's wrong with that?

It also sounds as though it's not firm whether your DH will be working or not on that day, so you're getting wound up for potentially no good reason as you may all be able to go on the Friday? Or are you saying that if he's not working at all, then you can't then afford to go anyway?

Stop being pissed off with your friends in any case because you clearly can't firm up the weekend regardless of location if you're saying that you potentially can't afford it.

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 07/06/2016 18:42

You weren't listened to because you hadn't committed. And tbh you sound whiney and annoying.

Just. Don't. Go.

And if you're resentful of them organising stuff that doesn't suit you, then you need to organise stuff that does.

Your friends are generous by allowing you to opt in at a late stage and even offering you to pay less. Most threads on here the consensus is that everyone pays full price even if they're ducking in or out at different times.

You still sound childishly annoyed and I'm not really even sure what about. So...just. Don't. Go.

TattyCat · 07/06/2016 18:44

MadamDeathstare that is exactly what my parents did with us in the 70s. We'd go camping and they'd set off at 2 or 3 am or something, make up beds in the back and transfer us, sleeping. We'd wake up at our destination, ready to help put the tents up. My poor parents must have been exhausted, but it was great fun for us, particularly as it was really cozy in the back of the Beetle!!

TattyCat · 07/06/2016 18:45

And Op, why don't you organise a separate, closer and cheaper weekend away the same weekend with your other friend who can't afford to go?

Sounds a sensible option to me. You both get a weekend away and can do what you both want to do.

KERALA1 · 07/06/2016 18:47

As the person who often organises stuff ditherers are the most annoying to deal with ever.

Everyone has personal issues/work/dc/journey. You commit and you go, or pay the price if you bail, or you decline politely and don't go. You cannot dither about and not commit to stuff like this.

Anyway, do this a few times and you won't have to worry about this stuff - no one will invite you in the first place!

Yellowbird54321 · 07/06/2016 18:52

Just had a cracking tea

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 07/06/2016 18:54

OP I think you and your other friend who you feel is getting MH left out should get your heads together and organise the next one.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 07/06/2016 18:56

Where did that random MH come from? Sorry

leelu66 · 07/06/2016 18:58

This thread is soooooo annoying. Whiny and annoying.

StopLookingAtMyAccount · 07/06/2016 19:01

YABU, just don't go if you don't want to. If your friends had wanted you there they would have got you involved in the organization. You were being wishy washy so they have quite sensibly just booked something that suits them.
Next time do the organizing yourself and work out something that suits you.
I wouldn't be so worried about your DD missing out.

I think it would be unfair to pay a reduced rate if the hut has a two night minimum stay.

AddictedToCoYo · 07/06/2016 19:02

I just said Fri travelling far was never good for me. But everyone else seemed happy so what can I do?

Say 'thanks but this really doesn't work for me, but have a great time'?

There is rarely any such thing as an arrangement that suits all parties without a hitch. You can go around the houses umpteen times looking for something that doesn't inconvenience anyone at all and the answer to that is usually to stay at home.

Someone had to bite the bullet and make a decision about where to go and what to do. The decision was made. They presumably also have to leave work early and/or have their children miss a day of school - this problem was not exclusive to you. They gave you an easy get out clause and you chose not to take it.

You chose to be included in spite of knowing it was always going to be awkward. I don't know what you want anyone to say really.

Can you not travel most of the way there on the Friday night and stay in a hotel/B&B so your journey is not to long on the Saturday morning? That way you can get there early without have to set off at the crack of dawn.

Nanny0gg · 07/06/2016 19:02

For the Love of God!!

Just stay at home!

Branleuse · 07/06/2016 19:04

just dont go

BareBearBum · 07/06/2016 19:04

If you don't fancy it, don't go.

If you do, I'd really consider going late Friday. You'd turn up and everyone would be asleep at midnight?!
Our set of friends would be on their bajillionth bottle of wine, eating cheese and biscuits and having a good natter!
In fact this happened last year, DH couldn't get out of work early, so we drove the few hours later than everyone else, they'd kindly kept us aside a plate of chili and put a drink in our hands as we walked through the door.

It was nice to wake up on the Saturday morning there and not have to be driving.
( we were in a camp type place and couldn't park outside, so just drove our stuff to the chalet and then DH took it to the closest car park, it was fine)

If you really want to go Saturday, go Saturday. I'd pay the money for Friday too, seeing as it was my decision not to go that night, but if a good friend was in your position and asked for a discount, I wouldn't object.

Strokethefurrywall · 07/06/2016 19:05

I can visualise each and every one of these posters banging their heads against their keyboards

How is it possible to get so worked up about something so... so...

AddictedToCoYo · 07/06/2016 19:08

Okay now I know it's a minimum of three hours away and possibly up to five I'd say just don't go. That's a hell of a lot of time in the car for one night away. Even if you get there really early you'll then have a long drive home on a Sunday night after a full day out, which will be crap.

Bolograph · 07/06/2016 19:15

A friend organised and we pretty much had no choice.

It must have been hard, stood there while your friend held a gun to the puppy's head.

NaraDeer · 07/06/2016 19:21

I am a fellow tizzer, OP. I can work myself up in knots about something but then I'll tell people why and they give me the look because they're being all calm and sensible about it whilst I've lost all perspective at that point!

Should you feel bad about paying less, well in my social group I know we'd all be happy with a family spending one night paying less than us paying two but of course other people will feel differently. If they've offered I would assume they're happy with it too, or at the least it works out cheaper for them if you go but pay less than if you don't go and pay nothing

TiredOfSleep · 07/06/2016 19:27

I actually find it easier to travel later in the evening with young children. Could you give some stuff to your friend so she can set you up and you leave at say 7pm having put kids into pjs and roll into bed when you arrived?

Sort out the rest of your stuff when you get up the next day.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 07/06/2016 19:29

pretty easy going 😳 Let's just say your definition of 'easy going' and mine vary widely 😁

Why are you 'new to driving in the U.K.' when you have been here years?🤔

Your posts are all so shouty and stressy - there's no need for it. Just say 'I can't make it, thanks for the invite' then arrange something nearer & cheaper with your 'broke' mate.

Olddear · 07/06/2016 19:44

Do them all a favour and don't go.

branofthemist · 07/06/2016 19:49

Ffs!

Nocabbageinmyeye · 07/06/2016 20:04

Don't go - for everyone else's sake stay at home, they will thank you for it

arethereanyleftatall · 07/06/2016 20:37

Speaking As one of the people who tends to organise stuff for various groups of friends; your posts, op, are giving me serious rage!

If you want all your friends to go on a holiday of your spec, YOU FUCKING ORGANISE IT!

If someone is giving up their own time to organise something for you, no they don't need to take your own, rather specific, requirements in to consideration.

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