Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To smoke in my garden?

225 replies

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 21:30

I smoke, wish I didn't and intending to really try and stop soon. But I smoke.

Moved into a new house two weeks ago.

I smoke in the garden. About 3 or 4 a night.

A few times I've been out there and the Window next door has been abruptly and loudly slammed shut.

They obviously can't stand the smell when I'm smoking, which I suppose is fair enough as it is a disgusting habit.

I feel it really hasn't got us off to a good neighbourly start.

I try and stand well away from their windows but I'm thinking AIBU to smoke outside in my own garden ?

OP posts:
Querty12345 · 02/06/2016 23:02

Oh god op just smoke. I'm surprised ex smokers being so anti this. If you didn't have a child you would smoke inside right? Just smoke in the god damn garden, I'm sure they do things that irritate you too. I used to smoke rollies out of my bedroom window at home and my mum never smelt it. Start smoking rollies they aren't quite as pungent. Ex smoker here btw.

cruikshank · 02/06/2016 23:04

3 to 4 cigs smoked in the open air will have a health effect on a neighbouring house? For I've heard some crazy shit in my time but that really does take some beating. I do wonder what smokers are supposed to do now that they can't smoke indoors and apparently can't smoke outdoors either. I also wonder how many of the window slammers drive, because unlike cigarette smoke outside car fumes blasted into the open air have actually been proved to cause deaths and health problems.

Original poster
whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 23:14

I've just had one and went out of the gate - do you think, if I can see all Windows are shut I'll be ok and just be extra mindful of it if their windows are open ?

OP posts:
LogicalThinking · 02/06/2016 23:17

The neighbours have been described as "childish" and "passive aggressive" on here. The neighbours are responding to the smell. They are sitting in their own home, probably watching tv or sitting on the internet when they smell the OP's smoke. The rush to the windows to shut them quickly because they don't like the smell in their house. They aren't sitting there looking out to the garden waiting for the OP to go outside so they can slam the windows loudly.
There is nothing childish or passive aggressive about what they are doing. There is nothing unreasonable in tit. They are not doing it to get at the OP. They are not doing anything at all to the OP, they are just protecting themselves from something they don't like.

I also recommend Allen Carr's Easyway to Stop Smoking.

user838383 · 02/06/2016 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kimononono · 02/06/2016 23:22

Just give up. The price of fags is going up.

Ex smoker here and throughly miss smoking. I love having a glass of wine and a fag :-(

It make you stink, look old and shortens you life. Best thing I did giving up so I keep telling myself

expatinscotland · 02/06/2016 23:33

Smoke rollies. Find an E. European and get it cheap. Grin

I vape. But I miss fags.

Lurkedforever1 · 02/06/2016 23:35

Yanbu. Crack on.

Either your neighbour is a normal rl person, who has a logical reason to close the window but isn't making judgements about you.

Or it's some hysterical mumsnetter wirh ridiculous ideas. And if that's the case then even if you walk 3 miles away for a smoke, they'll still be whining about the lingering smell on your clothes seeping through the walls and making their home uninhabitable. .

WanderingNotLost · 02/06/2016 23:37

I had a thread almost identical to this a few weeks back, except in my case I'm the window-shutting neighbour with smoke coming in my bedroom window. TBH it astonishes me that society puts up with such a horrid thing that is forced on other people whether they like it or not. I mean I know exhaust fumes are polluting and smelly but at least a car gets you from A to B. What good has smoking ever done anybody?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 02/06/2016 23:40

There's a town in California which has recently banned smoking in all public places and also in private property within ten foot of a boundary.

I suspect this will become common place in the next ten years.

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/06/2016 23:47

It's your home, do as you wish.

Ifonlylovewouldsavetheday · 02/06/2016 23:58

If you only smoke 3 or 4 per night (presuming you are being truthful😀) I would be wary of vaping, everyone knows smoking tobacco is harmful but there is no evidence vaping is not. I visited a colleague's house a while back and it smelt of air freshener from vaping, it was a very strong smell and quite disturbing imo

DrasticAction · 03/06/2016 00:10

Ironically, I would never smoke indoors for health implications on my kids - that's why I go outside

Op I am also an ex smoker who actually loves smoking. I still have and very much enjoy the odd fag like literally, 20 last year and one so far this year.

But, I gave up, a very long, protracted and hard process for my DC and DH. Dh has a long history of lung cancer in his family. I also lost my DM early and she was a heavy smoker.
I fought every day with myself to beat it. I did.
Then, I moved to a terraced house and ended up with smokers on both sides. Busy road at front. DD had an awful chest for her baby years, always coughing.

It got to the point where I couldnt open my windows, even other smokers came to my house and asked me if I had started again because it stunk that much.

Op I cant tell you how invasive and awful others peoples smoke in your home is. Thankfully, after a long personal battle I decided to ask my neighbors if they could move slighlty away from windows and they did and its changed my life

Just imagine the worse smell you can think of, imagine having this in your house several times a night, day?

ShadowsCollideWithKittens · 03/06/2016 00:10

YANBU. I smoke outside my front door. I don't smoke walking down the street. I don't smoke outside my office, as the door to our building is right on the street, when I'm having my pre-work cigarette I nip down an alley. I never, ever smoke in the presence of children or pregnant women. At home, I can't go and and smoke in the street, because children play there. So I smoke at my front door. I'm a very considerate smoker, but I won't be told what I can or can't do in my own garden. Or, what Lurked said Grin

DontMindMe1 · 03/06/2016 00:10

society puts up with such a horrid thing that is forced on other people whether they like it or not

yea....like screaming babies and noisy kids...and taxes etc etc etc list goes on...

Yet mostly we all manage to get on right?

Your neighbors are being very passive aggressive. A more considerate way of letting you know would be to pop their head out the window and saying 'hi'. Open up the communication in a friendly manner.

i smoke cigs and i smoke weed. so do some of my neighbors. others don't. yet none of us - in a 3 story building with 12 flats has ever been intimidatory or passive aggressive in a situation like yours.

if i were you i'd knock on one day and just say hi. you're both probably getting the wrong idea of each other - no matter what your personal preferences.

i've been in similar situations, my 'garden' either being my front door step or a garden not big enough for the smoke not to drift. i've always stood my ground. if it's unavoidable outside then...tough. It would be different if you or i were smoking all day or night...they have every right to their views and feelings but they shouldn't be taking it out on you acting like that. such exaggeration, such a judgy and cowardly way to behave.

DrasticAction · 03/06/2016 00:13

op why dont you simply go for a short walk when you smoke> get healthier and distribute your smokE?

Namelessbabe · 03/06/2016 00:13

OP you're more considerate than most smokers but I'm still glad you're not my neighbour.
Lived in a flat above a weed smoker a few years ago. Couldn't have my living room window open on warm days as the smell from their joints would come into the flat as they also had their window open. Drove me mad.

DrasticAction · 03/06/2016 00:14

, but I won't be told what I can or can't do in my own garden. Or, what Lurked said

I couldnt enjoy my rare fag knowing someone else was really suffering.

I smoke away from windows. not hard. Lurked sounds like a grade a - selfish turd.

DrasticAction · 03/06/2016 00:15

smells affect us all, imagine living with sewer smell every day, over powering you making you feel sick.

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 03/06/2016 00:15

YANBU so long as you're not doing it 6' from your neighbours' doors and windows.

DrasticAction · 03/06/2016 00:17

if i were you i'd knock on one day and just say hi. you're both probably getting the wrong idea of each other - no matter what your personal preferences.

^ sure except one person is offending the other by flooding their home with smoke, by the time they shut their window the smell has already gone in,...and affected them, the other is upset by the noise of a window being closed Confused

ShadowsCollideWithKittens · 03/06/2016 00:18

Well, when I'm in my front yard, there's about 20 feet between my front door and next door (he's also a smoker) and at least double that between the other neighbours and us. The only window I ever smoke under is my own. So I very much enjoy my nightly cigarette.

Namelessbabe · 03/06/2016 00:19

Genuinely shocked by the posters who think the OP is not being unreasonable (smoking in the garden) but the neighbour is unreasonable for closing their own window in response?!

Kimononono · 03/06/2016 00:21

If I could smell one of my next door neighbours weed smoke coming in to my home where my kids are I'd chuck a bucket of water over their head out of my window. Seriously. I do not ever want my kids to grow up thinking smoking that shit is ok. The amount of outreach work my friend does to school children already hooked on it is fucking crazy.

drastic me too. I enjoyed smoking and miss it terribly Sad

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 03/06/2016 00:21

And I must be really insensitive because the NDN's DD and her teenage friends went through the phase of having a sneaky one in their back yard and the first thing I knew of it was the next morning, finding the tab ends chucked into my own yard. (That's al stopped now, touch wood)