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AIBU?

To smoke in my garden?

225 replies

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 21:30

I smoke, wish I didn't and intending to really try and stop soon. But I smoke.

Moved into a new house two weeks ago.

I smoke in the garden. About 3 or 4 a night.

A few times I've been out there and the Window next door has been abruptly and loudly slammed shut.

They obviously can't stand the smell when I'm smoking, which I suppose is fair enough as it is a disgusting habit.

I feel it really hasn't got us off to a good neighbourly start.

I try and stand well away from their windows but I'm thinking AIBU to smoke outside in my own garden ?

OP posts:

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whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:05

To the last two PP - YES!!! This is what has left me with a bad taste in my mouth (har har)

The slamming sort of upset me, if they mentioned it I would have been mortified but grateful they gave me opportunity to apologise and show that I can be considerate.

I've been making a point of checking h windows are closed but didn't tonight and heard the slam immediately and I though "arghhhhhhh shit"

OP posts:

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/06/2016 22:06

mm..

Another ex smoker here - you could move down the end of the garden.. they can't really move their house/window..

Smoke drifting in through the windows is bloody annoying, my neighbours do it and our houses are all so badly ventilated, roasting hot in summer, ice cold in winter, we HAVE to have windows open to get the air circulating, ideally opening the windows in the evening so that the hot air coming out of upstairs is dragging in the cold air downstairs...

Along with next doors fag smoke.

Shes constantly shouting at her lot to shut the back door when they are smoking so it doesn't go in her house (She smokes too)... its going straight into mine instead.

If you care what they think - do it somewhere else. If you don't actually give a damn, carry on as you are.

I have to confess when i was a smoker i really had no idea how strong it smells or how far the smell drifts (but I smoked inside my own home not outside someones open window).

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/06/2016 22:07

They may not be slamming their windows on purpose though, some of our windows ONLY shut with a slam, really can't be shut quietly.

expatinscotland · 02/06/2016 22:09

YANBU

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/06/2016 22:09

Good luck giving up 💐 Then you can join those of us who hate it 😁

It is annoying when people smoke outside so that it's not in their house, but ends up in yours instead - but it's their right to smoke in the garden so it's difficult.

LogicalThinking · 02/06/2016 22:10

I'd be pissed if my neighbour smoked in their garden and the smell came into my house. I would recognise their right to do it, but it would be really annoying.
If you want to get on with your neighbours I think it's a good idea to go out of the gate.

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:10

Definitely a very over the top slam, we have exact same houses and the windows are pretty new modern upvc, mine are almost silent

Should I attempt to communicate with them about it despite us never having spoken? Or just accept they don't think much of us but try and minimise the annoyance

Is a three storey townhouse and whilst the space is massive it's taking a bit of used to for is to get used to the slammy Fire doors, exhoey noises and neighbours either side.

I don't want to be the nightmare neighbour !

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Tootsiepops · 02/06/2016 22:11

My next door neighbour does this. The smoke comes in our living room and I have a baby. Makes me furious.

Rubberduckies · 02/06/2016 22:11

Oh god I hope this isn't about me! Our new neighbours smoke and it comes straight into our house. It's annoying but hey ho- it's their garden. We do slam the sliding door shut if they're out there smoking, but not in anger, more because the door is shit and doesn't close unless we slam it! So no - YANBU, it's your garden. It would be lovely if you could go out of the gate when it's hot and the doors are open as it would probably help, and we would really appreciate it, but equally it's your garden, and it won't kill us to shut the door. If you're not our neighbour, maybe they have the same problem as us with poorly shutting doors or windows and have to slam it. If you are our neighbour don't worry, we don't have a problem with you at all, will totally appreciate you going out of the gate, and thanks for accepting our parcels, it's very helpful!

Rainbunny · 02/06/2016 22:11

Well of course it's your right but it's your neighbour's right to hate you for it. Have you considered vaping, if you wanted to be neighbourly? I used to live next door to a smoker (weed which is even worse) and I could never leave a window open, occasionally if I did I would come home to a room stinking of weed smoke. It's miracle I'm not writing this from jail for murdering him!

MrsSpecter · 02/06/2016 22:12

Ooh i loudly and abrubtly slammed my windows for the same reason this evening. Do what you like in your own garden. Your neighbour doesnt have to like it.

foursillybeans · 02/06/2016 22:12

It's legal and you have the right to do it....but.... it's horrible, unneighbourly and polluting the inside of their home in the evenings. It does go in to their house via the windows and it's very unfriendly. I had neighbours who all smoked and it was awful. All summer I had to shut my windows and could not enjoy my own garden and home because they were smoking. My DC have asthma and my DH has lung damage. It affected our family a lot. It's just a horrible thing to do to neighbours. Can you smoke in your car or go for an evening walk? 3-4 cigarettes is a lot for an evening.

barbet · 02/06/2016 22:12

I'd "slam" a window if that meant closing it as fast as possible. It wouldn't necessarily be a "fuck you" gesture, just a "no no no stop it getting everywhere" moment.

I'd never ask someone to stop smoking nearby, I'd assume they either wouldn't be able to, or would just do it even more to be arsey.

It's nice that you're going to be more considerate though, good for you!

expatinscotland · 02/06/2016 22:13

'Should I attempt to communicate with them about it despite us never having spoken?'

No. Just go out the gate from now on.

My downstairs neighbour smokes weed. I smell it all the time.

Meh. I've had far worse neighbours.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 02/06/2016 22:13

You know smoking is bad so just bloody quit!

I did it. Anybody can. It just takes determination and the want to stop. For those who will say it's not that easy - yes it is. Just stop. Take it a day at a time. Once you are passed the first three days the chance of you quitting for good rises significantly.

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:14

Rubberduckies I want to be your neighbour X

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Rubberduckies · 02/06/2016 22:14

I saw your reply about being in a 3 story town house and can now say you're not my neighbour ....

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:15

Itslikerain - why did you ever smoke if you found it that easy to stop?

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Rubberduckies · 02/06/2016 22:15

I saw your reply about being in a 3 story town house and can now say you're not my neighbour ....

whoopsididit · 02/06/2016 22:15

Itslikerain - why did you ever smoke if you found it that easy to stop?

OP posts:

Rubberduckies · 02/06/2016 22:15

I saw your reply about being in a 3 story town house and can now say you're not my neighbour ....

feebeecat · 02/06/2016 22:16

It does stink. Neighbours both smoke, one retired and there all day, so when the weather is nice it is pretty horrible. Dh, ex-smoker is always complaining about it (to me) and seems to smell it even when I can't
.
We would never say anything to them though as it's their garden and I would rather them outside our window than dc's window. They are also the nicest, friendliest people and brilliant neighbours - just what happens when you live so close I suppose. You just need to make yourself indespensible to them

BrianCoxReborn · 02/06/2016 22:16

My neighbour smokes on his doorstep of an evening and it drifts into my living room

A few times I've hastily closed the window and it's slammed, but it wasn't intentional, I hope he doesn't think I'm being arsey because they're great neighbours (Polish builder, always willing to do jobs for me and test out his English - perfect relationship!)

I hate cigarette smoke. I'm an ex smoker and I don't think you realise, truly realise, as a smoker, how much smoke carries and lingers.

Can you smoke out the front instead?

I think you should be able to have a fag in your garden, but neighbours should be able to have their Windows open without fag smoke too. I just close my window while NDN is out, then open it again. Takes about 5 mins to smoke a ciggie , suppose its different if it's non-stop though.

MrsSpecter · 02/06/2016 22:16

He can't really shut the window as it gets the sun all day so it's always warm at night

paperkins try a thermal blind on his window pulled down during the day. Should help to keep his room cooler.

Querty12345 · 02/06/2016 22:18

3-4 cigarettes is a lot for an evening.

Not if you're a smoker it's not

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