If your toddlers screech and scream in public

[JackandDiane]

In a cafe say, Non tantrum. Just doing it. Tell them to shut up please. It's fucking annoying.

I think you should shut up. You're annoying.

This is going to go well....

Oh gosh, just "tell them"? Knew I'd missed a trick with my toddlers somewhere!

I don't expect to be told to shut up by any members of my family, and i extend the same courtesy to my children, thanks.

Personally I would try to stop my child shrieking or screaming while out and about. But not by telling them to shut up

Parents often go a bit deaf to their own children's noise.

Often there are extenuating circumstances:

Kid is under the weather, has (long term) difficulties, hasn't slept very well, is hungry, is growing or is just being a bit of a dick that day etc.

Sometimes the parent is a 10/10 crunchy wheatgerm eating all heroic super-mum/dad 99.9% of the time and is having an off-moment.

But for me, if I'm in public, in an adult space - I would like to think I am aware of the disruption my child is causing, and would remove said child from said situation.

Well, let's see how this one goes, shall we?

For their own benefit as much as anyone else's...

Well if it's pure screaming then that would be a tantrum.

High pitch chatting/laughing that's toddlers. Much rather hear that than sweaty adults or a tut tut pain op.

Tigywinkler you got a spare glass for over here? I have these

This isn't going to go well.

But I agree with you.

That's really good advice, thanks for that. 😃 Have you thought about writing a parenting book?

at 'just tell them'. I don't have kids but no toddler I've ever met would be 'just told' anything!

Maybe you could be a Non-Tantrumming Toddler Shrieking Warden, OP, with a little uniform and a notebook and a list of byelaws about unreasonable behaviour in cafés? I'm sure every parent of a toddler, and of course the general public to whom toddlers are a vast and unknowable alien entity, would be very grateful. You'd have an OBE within about ten minutes.

OP you look like such a dickhead right now!

Bendy your username made me snort!

thanks

I agree Jack. A tantrum is one thing and can't always be helped but I've never understood parents who allow their children to shriek or shout. It's is so annoying.

I sat in front of a shrieky child on a flight recently. His parents didn't say a word.

There was a delay getting off the plane and we're all standing there hot and bothered, holding our bags, listening to this small child shout and shriek. The parents weren't looking so I just leaned over slightly and said a quiet "ssh" to the child who was so shocked he immediately shut up.

I got a thumbs up from the row behind.

A woman I know has selective hearing when it comes to her children, they're allowed to run about screeching and shouting so long as they don't interrupt her. While everyone in the café throws daggers at her little darlings

I'm assuming it's this sort of thing you're referring to and not any sort of meltdown/tantrum type noise, which is of course unavoidable and an inevitable part of owning a toddler.

My daughter is disabled and she would often just start screaming in a cafe/restaurant/shop with no warning as she couldn't tell me what it was that had upset her. It was attitudes like yours that made me stay inside and not go out as i was worried that people would just think she was being naughty or i was a bad parent. i couldn't tell her off as she literally wouldn't have understood a thing i was saying to her and it probably would have made the situation worse.

oh come on Hey you can't always "just tell" toddlers but there are other things you can do.

Anna you're the Toddler Whisperer.

They'll make a film about you. Starring Robert Redford.

"Shut up please. You're annoying a random grumpy fucker on the internet!"

"Do you really want to be the subject of an AIBU thread? Well do you? Tarquin"?

In a cafe I would expect parents to curb non-tantrum loudness and shrieking. In a park or playground, absolutely not. It all depends on what you define as 'in public'.