If your toddlers screech and scream in public

[JackandDiane]

In a cafe say, Non tantrum. Just doing it. Tell them to shut up please. It's fucking annoying.

I like how everyone is saying if they have sen it's ok and shouldn't have to be locked in home just because their child has sen but how the hell do you know? Are you going to go up to the lady with the loud toddler and demand a medical letter detailing any disabilities?

I totally agree, some parents are as good as a chocolate fireguard, and will just sit there with a stupid look on their faces, whilst their kids play merry hell. i would intervene if it does not stop, and tell the kids to be quiet please.

But Hariasa, it does take time for them to learn, so how do you teach them without this teaching time? also how would you discipline a 15-20mo? Genuinely curious btw.

Ds has very severe sn. I don't do things just so other people can be satisfied that I am doing something. I do what is best for my child.

My baby's happy squeals are seriously cute (to me). She's too young to be told not to do it. When she is old enough I'll teach her about indoor voices but I find it hard to get upset at the sound of happy children being a bit loud. Tantrums are a different matter.

Aeroflot - that actually made me laugh. What do you think the child will do at the sound of your magic voice?

MrsKoala this is where I struggle as a parent. I always feel I have to be seen to be doing something if my daughter is misbehaving but I do wonder if ignoring it would be more effective. I've just never had the balls to do it in public because I'd worry about the judgemental looks/comments I would get. Equally people probably look at me and think I'm pandering to her and judge me for that. You can't win sometimes.

If often tell my toddler to be quiet.,,,and he always cooperates

Thistle you say you're aware of it but you're not acting aware of it.

haddock good for you.

MrsK I would hope it would prompt the parents to action to do something about their kid.

Aero if you told my son to be quiet I would be shouting a lot louder than he ever could

I love a good scene so I'd enjoy watching Green shout at Aero whilst Aero reprimanded Green Jr.

I'd even re-position my chair so I could have a good gawk.

MrsK you are absolutely right, it takes time.

Lots of repetition

discussion of expected behaviour before entering cafe,

making sure you are engaging child in conservation/activity so that behaviour is directed positively.

Look at that big boy sitting so nicely - can you be as grown up?

Praise for good behaviour.

Reward for good behaviour (if you sit nicely and eat your snack we will go to the park next)

Low quiet, firm voice to child explaining that their behaviour is disturbing others.

Remind child continued poor behaviour will result in removal.

If necessary take child away from table (outside if possible) for a discussion about behaviour, reminder of expectations, consequences

Finally, if child still won't behave leave and go home (not via park), Express disappointment for behaviour. Try another day.

And repeat again ad nausem

So you would tell the kids to be quiet and then hope the parents do something. Surely better to say to the adult 'can you do something about the noise please' rather than addressing a 1 year old in the hope that somebody hearing you will spring into action. What if they say 'actually ignoring it works way better than giving her attention'. Would that be okay or do you require 'action'?

Parents of very young children with sn are usually watching them or supervising them because the child isn't safe without it. The ones running around shrieking while their parent chats to mates/ smiles fondly are generally nt.

BUT sometimes it will work and sometimes it won't. Sometimes toddlers aren't reasonable!

MrsK no one's talking about 1 year olds!

Does that really work on your children under 2? None of mine give a shit what i say under that age and ds1 really not much till 3 and even now he doesn't give a shit at nearly 4!

I agree - I don't mind tantrums - toddlers do have them after all - but the high-pitched squealing & shrieking that is unbearable - I used to tell DS "no squealing!" every time he did & he would stop.

Running around in cafes is absolutely intolerable IMO - take them something to do & make them sit in their seats, or take them outside to let off steam. They have to learn to behave in public!

little girls just SCREAMING Hello ( and similar) together looking out of the window in a cafe - short distance away from their parents who totally ignored them
It was ear splitting and really annoying. Kids make noise, they don;t need to scream ( all other things being normal)

I thought toddlers were 1-2yo.

The op just said "toddlers" so I assumed 1-3. I'd say you'd have a 60% success rate with a 3yr old.

I am not talking about babies, more like 2+, and Green it takes a community and all that .

i had my nails done yesterday. these POOR KIDS between say 5 and 9 years sitting bored on the sofa waiting for their mum.
No interaction, no books, nothing.
They wanted to go so badly. After 45 mins of nail action mums nails were done, and OH MY GOD if she didn't complain they weren't long enough and the salon offered to redo them
The whole place thought OH FOR FUCKS SAKE NO - kid would have to wait again and they were really irritable by this point..

Guess what she decided?