If your toddlers screech and scream in public

[JackandDiane]

In a cafe say, Non tantrum. Just doing it. Tell them to shut up please. It's fucking annoying.

Meh, I agree.
I hate hearing kids screaming for the sake of screaming and being loud.
I'm not deaf to my kids screaming because A) she rarely screams and B) when she does she's told to keep her indoor voice on & actually does what she's told.

Oh, she's 2.5 & very well behaved and yes I'm smug because I was a shit strict parent & now she listens.

Agree op, was at a nt place the other day and a few shits spoilt it.

My MIL is always on this about my third. He's very loud at times (being youngest of three probably). We always ask what exactly does she want us to do? He's two. Cover his mouth? Keep him out of public until he's a school kid?

My second one is mouselike, my first wasn't much louder than him. This little one is a different kettle of fish. But I wasn't a smug mum about the older two, because I come from a large family and never assumed they were quiet because of what I was doing. It's largely temperament.

I believe kids deserve a place in the world and adults can manage their own distress tolerance. I'll do my best to keep my toddler engaged and respond contingently to teach him how to behave socially but no, oh precious ones, I will not be making a big palaver about ssshing him and bringing loads of negative attention to it for your benefit. Sorry about that. Get some earphones like the rest of us when we are kid free.

Ive got a toddler who isn't averse to screeching when he cant get his own way.
As evidenced in Wilkinsons earlier when I wouldn't let him hold the sodding washing up liquid.

And yes I was ignoring him completely. Because saying anything to him while he is pissed off just makes it a whole lot worse. Leave him alone, he soon realises that I am not going to listen to him while he is going for it with both bellows.

Restaurants are a whole different kettle of fish though although he is usually well behaved as long as the food keeps coming or he is watching something on my phone with the volume switched off

The 6 year old however gets 2 choices when acting up in public. Get a grip or get out.

I agree OP.

I have two noisy children. If they act up when we're in a cafe intake them out for a break until their noise levels are reasonable.

I have a child with autism so I understand some children might make more noise and can't help it and I have very high tolerance for their noise. But I have low tolerance when parents just sit there while a child roars crying and they attempt to get the child to calm down.

I am virtually deaf to the sound of anyone else's child except mine.It doesn't annoy me because I have the luxury of not having to deal with it. My own loud, challenging 4 year old that looks about 6, however, drives me mad and I try my hardest to curb it. I will just 'tell him' next time OP. Cheers for the reminder.

and now she listens

For the time being....

Toddlers are classed as 1 to 3 years :)

Babies, toddlers and young children can't control their emotions at all, so whilst you can control the setting and the baby/toddler/young child - the temper tantrum is inevitable.

The best way is to calm them down with a cuddle and a soothing voice... A bribe can work just as well!

"Look at that big boy sitting so nicely - can you be as grown up? "

And this gets on my tits. Our kids will be unfavourably compared to others their whole sodding lives and on the great race to the grave, trying to be more and more grown up at every juncture. What a joyless fecking world we live in sometimes. I've been in many more cafes without kids than I have with them and I really like to see kids engaged in life and excited about being somewhere, waving and trying to say hello to others. Honestly try not to be so miserable about things. And get those earphones.

Shrieking is totally unnecessary. Your child does not need to shriek to communicate. It is attention seeking and disruptive.

AnnaMarlowe, I would have given you a high five for making that toddler stop shrieking

And agree with fusionconfusion

I went for a coffee with a friend of mine where she screamed at her baby and her baby screamed back. Repetitively. She beamed at me with a "Isn't she so cute?"

I was .

Needless to say, we rarely meet up in public. Their days are completely dictated by the whims of their children and it gets tiresome.

Shrieking is totally unnecessary. Your child does not need to shriek to communicate. It is attention seeking and disruptive.

What Whois said

I would surely "tell" them to shut up. 😹 Sorry you had to visit the cafe when I was there

Is annoying but i just see it as i used to be that annoying child

I was so smug the other day when my two (including two year old) sat nicely through a meal. I couldn't believe it tbh, as it's nothing I had done.

On analysis I think it was helped by - having done exercise before the meal (crucial), being hungry, the food coming reasonably quickly, and obviously them not having any inherent problems that would make it more difficult for them to sit quietly.

But getting them on a good day probably helps alot!

too good I am like that too - virtually deaf to other people's children. Even when at the same table as me!

Gets out popcorn and wine (its cyber wine, half 4 is fine for cyber wine..)..

Telling a small child to shut up is about as useful as boobs on a bicyle...

Expecting people with toddlers having a loud and disruptive moment to remove said toddlers to a more appropriate space is not unreasonable - if the space they are currently in is of course inappropriate - nice cafe, inappropriate, McDonalds, appropriate.

Sometimes its not possible to avoid being in an 'inappropriate' space and unable to swiftly leave it when toddler kicks off - in those instances, keep your grimaces to yourself and remind yourself, you get to leave, the parent of the small has to continue sharing a small space with the toddler PERMANENTLY...

at 'cyber wine'

Ok, so how do I stop my 2 yr old shrieking when she's excited? She's reasonably well behaved in cafes etc as long as you keep her distracted, but as soon as she's outside..... It could be the park, the garden, a toddler group - anywhere where she can run, she will run. And any time she runs she shrieks with excitement at the same time - obviously even worse if someone is play chasing her or something.

So on the one hand I don't want her to sit down & calm down (need her worn out), but on the other hand it is load & annoying. My ineffectual 'Don't shriek, dear!' isn't even noticed because she is having fun. If you stop her and 'tell her' it's forgot seconds later, in fact I'm not sure she even realises that she's doing it.

Serious suggestions please, and for the record, I never had this problem with my older child and don't think I've done anything differently.

Other parents of small children hate it especially because she incites them to join in.....

Do you know what you should shut the fuck up. It's people like you that make my life fucking hard and miserable.
My ds2 who is 4 screams all the time, he has asd and spd and is non verbal. Screaming is the only way he can communicate show his excitement whatever.
What would you like me to do lock us in the house and never go out??
Stop ds1 doing anything because of the way ds2 is.
I understand that sometimes there is selfish parents out there but unfortunately there is parents like us who with all the will in the world couldn't get Ds to stop

My 9-month-old is going through a screaming phase. He often screams and shrieks as we go around sainsburys. He waits until someone is coming towards him (usually someone deep in thought) then screams just as they reach him. He then laughs when they jump.

He sometimes screams unexpectedly (and ear-shatteringly) in cafes and restaurants, in shops, on trains and buses. He is too young to understand volume control. We tell him no and shush him but he's still a baby, he doesn't understand. I'm not going to stay indoors with him just because people can't cope with a baby screeching. If you want to avoid kids, go to places that are not child-friendly.

IMO the UK is very intolerant of babies and toddlers. Recently I was at a lovely fancy Middle Eastern restaurant with my family, it was 9pm, DS was in his high chair. He started getting over excited and screechy. After 10mins of being passed from lap to lap I made to take him out but the manager stopped me at the door and told me not to worry about the noise, babies cry and nobody minds. He insisted I sit back down with DS (who calmed down after a while and fell asleep in his pram). I've noticed this attitude in various Mediterranean and ME countries, people are more tolerant of children and do not expect them to be silent.