To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

Will we know the outcome of the court case straight away or will it be one of those wait for ages things?

If we do win the case and the law finds it is legal for bus companies to ask people to fold or get off then woulnt they just change the law so they can sleuth out the Agro?

I've seen the self-sue pack before often tempted! So if I try sue my local butcher, green grocer chemist or flower shop or hairdresser that all have a step (that would be easy to flatten or provide ramp) I can just do it?

Really bugs me. Reminds of old signs people used to put up saying no Irish, no black no DSS in "olden days!" I feel like making new one saying no wheelchairs and sticking them up on unaccessable places. It would really shock people woulnt it. People just don't see if you have a step that's exactly what you are saying to those with chairs or frames or walking problems. and no one notices

Or they make a token gesture without thinking it through. Like the shop in our high street which has replaced its internal steps with a ramp but left the high step from the street into the shop so the ramp is useless.

It wouldn't feel half as bad if a shop coulnt afford it, though should be made show plans for say 5y not infinite grace period. Also where I live always new shops like pound works or phone shops popping up for year then moving on , big chains should not be allowed planning permission in a building if they refuse to make building accesable. It goes from one owner to next. Who go in and spend money on re fern and fittings and not fix simple stuff.

I would even accept small sign outside at low level not 6 foot in air saying we know our shop isn't accesable. Please ring this bell and we live to help. As much as I hate to be served from street it would should willing. Now you try catch people's eye through posters and shelves and if you do more likely to stare at you than actual help.

Generally I have a no accesable rule - no spend money but if you are the only chemist open I have break my rules! Though buying tampons from the street in rain from male chemist who kept bringing out wrong ones wasn't an experience I wish to do again.

Akire at the tampons.

I'm considering the self sue pack. My local chip shop, opticians, butchers, and the list goes on.

I'd have to sue 95% of the local shops if I did that

I do wonder if they truly don't realise or just can't be bothered

Though I do have to say my local cinema is tiny, a one man band type, but only one screen is accessible. First time I turned up the manager came up to me and told me if I want to see a film they will make sure it's screened in the accessible screen. It's as good as it's going to get, as there really isn't room for a lift. It's a very old building but they made the downstairs as accessible as any other cinema. This I can live with. They are aware and trying.

My local independant cinema are fabulous, they are accessible, have a massive disabled loo, won't tolerate nonsense (like people using the loo who've no need to but also ejecting rude idiots), have weekly SN friendly screenings and won't tolerate any disablist crap from non disabled patrons.

But a lot of the shops etc are a nightmare. (Old town old buildings but that shouldn't be an excuse).

Isn't there an issue with the size of a premises as to whether they have to have access?

I really like the mochas from a particular coffee shop in the city have repeatedly asked them about access apparently because they can only hold less than 40 patrons at any one time (might not be 40 might be a lesser number) they don't have to comply or something??? Is there a rule about the size of the establishment?? I think there might be I'm sure we looked into it

As far as I know it's only old buildings that don't have to have access, it has nothing to do with size

It's the old reasonable adjustments. I'd it reasonable for a coffee shop seats 40 that's decent thriving business to adapt. Id say so! But the law dosnt inforce it.

There was channel 4 did a series on where went to 100 place big and small. Then had disablilites minister in and he was all "we prefer to work together" crap rather than fine business that don't comply. It's been 21y since it be and illegal to disciminate it's appalling we still have no push from anyone to make business comply

I didn't realise how bad things are in some places, I am ashamed to say. We are relatively lucky as our nearest shopping place is the city's main high street and most shops are accessible, certainly we can get into anything essential.
Even if it is difficult to adapt surely almost anywhere can have a portable ramp?

Today is brought to you by vast quantities of tramadol. I'm buzzing.
Rheumatoid Arthritis flare started Sunday night. Even my toes are involved - they never have been before.
I'm in so much pain. Contacted my GP for help yesterday he wasn't available so I got another in the practice and as they 'don't want to interfere with my consultant's treatment' I have to try to get hold of my consultant - last time it took a week and GP had to intervene.

I'm so miserable. Have to get DD to consultants appointment in London via public transport tomorrow, both of us in wheelchairs. I don't think I'm strong enough to poke up with crap from entitled members of the public.

Bishop

Bishop wish you all luck in world, and team Of rugby players to assist carry and make it happen.

Hope the doctors can sort appointment, why is it when you in chronic pain it's ok to just wait if it was sudden you be at a &e. X

Got a lovely private message from a mumsnetter full of support. Thank you it's lovely to know.

Hope it's going ok Bishop xx

That's lovely to hear, Mummy.
Not looking great here, consultant's secretary hasn't got back to me so hoping I can get hold of the GP who normally helps with my RA.

It's always a fight isn't it?

And it SHOULDN'T be. But it is even on here.

bishop

Is it final if the court overturns the appeal? Fingers are crossed so hard!

They talking about this on radio but missed start. What was verdict?

Woman on radio bemoaning Disabled people shouldn't get priority ..... Sign it should be first come first served.... So did we win? Guess more evils to us hooray.....