To be fed up of feeling like I'm a second-class member of society

[Mummyme1987]

I had a serious car accident a few years ago, and have various medical complications too. I use a wheelchair. I'm fed up with this feeling that because I have mobility and medical problems, I'm not a full member of society. I overheard a now non friend imply that I was a drain on society because I don't work. Lately I've had issues with people talking over me, at a checkout I'm ignored and even though my hand is out for the change it's given to my husband. Little things like people moving my wheelchair so I'm facing the wall. Even moving me so I bash my toes. And then there is the parking issues, comments about being too young to have mobility problems, like being young stops car accidents. I've put on weight since the accident, so i get a lot of too fat to walk comments. Why do people do this? My family are fab, we have other disabilities in the family, and at home I don't feel this way. Im now finding I don't enjoy leave the house unless I have too. Im fed up with other people's attitudes. When I have talked to these people about the attitude, they always try to lay it at my feet with the dont be so sensitive, maybe you are depressed (I'm not), I'm actually really happy, I just am fed up with your attitude! Im not even sure why i am writing this but it has boiled ever today.

I want a pa to take me to the pub!

I'm probably outing myself but I'm a social worker who is bloody minded and stubborn when I want things for service users. I'm not very good at advocating for myself in real life but that's another story. Anyway, I have often wangled agreement for care packages that include going to pubs, clubs and social events. My current client group are not too interested in that sort of thing but I have come across people in the past who have needed help facilitating those sorts of activities and why the feck not. :)

My budget is so low it's almost nonexistent. Not enough to go out on. Hard aren't ask for it to be looked at as they are cutting budgets here.

I don't even get a budget

Why ever not? That's bad xx

No idea, I have to fight for every tiny thing. I had to get my GP and MP involved and fight for 6 months before the OT accepted I was in a wheelchair and needed to move from my 1st floor without a lift flat. All I have managed to get is a bed rail and shower chair. They even took my cleaner away as they no longer do cleaning unless it's part of a 24hr care package but did recommend a company to do it at £14 an hour which I had to pay for . I want the rails for the toilet like you see in disabled toilets but all they will offer is a huge frame that covers the whole toilet which won't fit in the space where the toilet is

Glad to hear the new wheelchair is working well for you, Ica, but sorry to hear that you're being so badly fobbed off in relation to the other equipment and aids you need.

It's a good job I can get my wheelchair through motability or I'd still be fighting for one 3 years on

There was a piece on the BBC South Today Facebook page about Theale station not being accessible to a lady with a buggy and a toddler. The comments were really disgusting. I think the BBC should have interviewed a wheelchair user instead but people were so nasty about someone not being able to navigate the stairs - total lack of empathy and thinking beyond the narrow example of a mum with a buggy.

PS I'd never heard the expression walkie-talkie before except in the context of a radio-type device you use to communicate with!

Oh goodness me, Tanni Grey Thompson has just replied to one of my tweets - we are bemoaning the state of Passenger Assistance. Last week, and not for the first time, she had to crawl off a train because they failed to meet her. After bb, it's my next - wonder if we could get MN to invite her on for a chat- she has a daughter of about 13.

Have read whole thread and signed the petition. I am able bodied. I work in a college for people with LD, which has been very enlightening in itself, but this thread has well and truly educated me. Thank you for opening my eyes. for you all.

And Mummyme well done to your DD!

Was out tonight and some drunk individual yelled

ROLLING ROLLING at me

How my sides ache with his sparkling wit and originality

For those of you who might be interested in taking places to court for inaccessibility issues or other disability discrimination issues - the disabled activist Doug Paulley (who also gave evidence to the House of Lords) has put together a DIY resource kit on how to do this with the minimum cost and maximum effect.

If more people did this fewer businesses/councils etc would carry on discriminating.

Here's the link:
www.kingqueen.org.uk/dart/

Quote from the page DART – the Disability Attitude Re-adjustment Tool
I’ve written a Guide for Disabled People to Sue Service Providers for Disability Discrimination, as Unrepresented Litigants in Person in England. (Otherwise known as DART – the Disability Attitude Readjustment Tool.) Suing isn’t as difficult or risky as it might sound. Given that only the person discriminated against can take action, and legal aid is effectively non-existent, this is now pretty much the only way to enforce one’s legal rights; though Unity Law are a great exception.

This accompanying post provides extra resources to go with the guide. NB: many of the examples have been anonymised due to non-disclosure agreements. Don’t be over-awed – suing is actually a simple process and you will probably never need most of the following. (There’s a lot here because I want to give many examples and cover many circumstances, much of which you won’t use.)

P.S. the DART package is free unless you want it printed and sent to you and then there is a minimal charge to cover costs.

Thank you Banana 😊

EverySongbirdSays

It's only funny when I do it in my head, when the song choice tends to be Riding Dirty.

Because it makes me DS (nearly eleven years old) laugh, and since he's been there throughout my illness, caring even when I tell him to bog off. That kiddo does things for me that make me cry, last week it was taking over at the till and packing the shopping, other times it's grabbing a drink so I can take pain killers.

I swear sometimes he knows better than I do when I'm starting to reach the limits of my pain and because he does it all without even complaining, I do everything in my power to make sure the rest of the time we have together is spent having as much fun and laughter as possible. One of the reasons I sent him to live with his dad was because I didn't want him to be a child carer, stressing about looking after his mum. He gets best of both of us now, I can push it harder when he's here and rest when he's gone back.

Nothing beats the shared glances and giggles when I sing...

They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Other people can fuck off. They haven't earned the right to be in on the joke.

It wasn't that song he was doing it was the Limp Bizkit one but yours would have been a good retort.

I see them coming a mile off, and go past as if I haven't noticed. I don't even look. I figure this makes them look a bigger twat in front of the mates. The joke fails harder as they get no reaction and no dialogue.

If I looked upset you might get "Awww don't be tight" or some other patronising guff if I had a go back it might start a war of insults I wouldn't win on my own and jeopardise my safety.

No reaction, they are just the guy in the group who made fun of a disabled person and no-one laughed - jokes on you

Oh hell yeah, the amount of drinking and driving jokes you get if you go out to the pub is a bit of a nightmare. A blank face and maybe a slightly raised eyebrow works best with idiots.

EVERY FUCKER EVERY. FUCKER. who says :

"Have you/Hope you've passed your driving test?"

Thinks they are HILARIOUS and the first to ever say it, I must hear it once a week at least - and because they are completely unaware of their own unoriginality and are deeply impressed with selves and usually strangers you have not seen before or will again you know FUCK OFF is unacceptable.

The buggy/wheelchair bus case is going to the Supreme Court this week.

I was offered a chance to be there through an organisation I'm part of but getting into central London by 9am on Thursday will be next to impossible in a wheelchair. The court has done a ballot to allow 6 wheelchair/scooter users in to watch the proceedings

I'm dreading the outcome really. When the last decision was I made I went to get a bus 2hrs after and the driver told me there was a buggy on already and the space was full so I couldn't get on . Luckily I knew the full decision and pointed it out to him. It turned out there was 1 buggy and a guy with work tools in the space which would take 1 wheelchair and 1 buggy so I made everyone move to let me on.

Sorry Wednesday not Thursday

*EVERY FUCKER EVERY. FUCKER. who says :

"Have you/Hope you've passed your driving test?"*

I quite often go out with headphones in with no music just to appear not to be hearing those stupid comments! So don't have fake a response. If you do nothing you are ignorant disabled can't take a joke, if you laugh you are encouraging them. Lose lose!

I've had it today Akire - "Eh you, No Speeding" - didn't react got "I was just joking love" shouted after me.

I know he was, and I know he was harmless, but you just ARE NOT in the mood to humour every middle aged man's ego (they are always middle aged men - I guess it's a Dad Joke)

Someone FELL ON ME when they walked out of a shop without looking today. He was mortified though, so I felt sorry for him.