To ask relatives not to buy plastic toys?

[MumOnACornishFarm]

I am sure other parents have dealt with similar, so I would really appreciate any advice here. Our DS is turning 1 very soon, and obviously some people will be buying him presents. Of course we do not feel that people should, but in reality we know that most in our close family will. I would really like to not have any more plastic toys; he already has loads although I try to avoid plastic where I can, and I am concious that his beloved jumperoo will still be here in millions of years from now. It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it's something I'm quite concious of.

So, is there any way of me saying this to relatives without sounding like we have any expectation of receiving presents in the first place, and without putting people's noses out of joint? I don't want to make a wish list for him or anything like that, because I appreciate people want to chose what they give. But I would love to avoid more plastic flooding into the house! My partner and I are also agreed that we don't want him to have guns or similar toys, not that people are likely to get that sort of thing for a first birthday (I hope not!) but obviously it's a similar issue that no doubt will crop up later on, and I'm curious to know how other parents handle this.
Equally I might be being very silly to think that I can or should control what people buy him. So, AIBU?

We have managed to keep it to a minimum. Some people do ask for gift ideas, so it is as well to have some ideas to give them. Help get this going by always asking them what to get their kids. Backfired slightly when my brother wanted nothing but battery operated plastic tat for his kids. However more recently I have taken his youngest out book shopping for her birthday, she loves getting an adult to herself for the afternoon.

I got away with mostly but not exclusively clothes, books and second hand stuff for DS until the most recent birthday. He is 7. He is a child, there will be plastic, there will be gifts Id rather he hadnt had but there we are.

Today carrots sticks became guns.... I swear it's genetically hardwired into boys.

yes it is hardwired. Toast was always nibbled into a gun-shape. Fingers were used of course if nothing else was available. Just go with the flow I say.

He'll make a gun out of two twigs and they don't do paw patrol or Bing wooden toys, which he'll be asking for so you best learn to whittle.

He'll make a gun out of two twigs and they don't do paw patrol or Bing wooden toys, which he'll be asking for so you best learn to whittle.

tryhard I actually said I didn't want to share a wish list, for that very reason. Priviledged?? Ha! You're absolutely entitled to your opinion of course, I was interested in people's thoughts which is why I wrote the post, but you could NOT be further from the truth. And if you had read all my posts you also would see that I said I wouldn't dream of refusing a gift someone had bought for my son. Neither do I expect one in the first place. If I really had my way, he would be getting a gift from me & my partner and nobody else. There's too much stuff in the world.

It's easy to have a wish list and only give it out if people ask for it, though. I don't think that is entitled at all.

We have a mix of plastic and wooden toys... I prefer the wooden ones, DS actually likes his fluffy/soft toys best (18 months). Though to be honest he's a vandal an explorer and would rather try to wreak the living room or kitchen than play with any of his toys.

YABU

When our kids are going we parents have dreams of the playing gently and quietly with wooden toys after our daily walks in the local national trust property.

Then they discover CITV despite our best efforts and realise that plastic tat exists.
OP YABU. If anyone asks, you can suggest certain things but you'll have to accept that tat. Although some stuff is very well made and wooden stuff gives them splinters.

You can always give it to charity.

young not going!

Well thank you to everyone who offered constructive comments and helpful suggestions. There have been some really good ideas
I completely understand why some people think I shouldn't try to influence what people chose as a gift, and I do feel torn about it. Don't think I've changed my mind about a wish list; still worried it looks to presumptuous. But I cannot begin to understand why some people think it is pointless or 'precious' (I bloody hate that word used as some kind of half-arsed insult) to want to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives. To be honest I thought everybody would see the sense in that, so I guess I was being naive
Anyway, can't wait for my little boy's first birthday!

I think that, if you told everyone 'We're trying to put together a really good Brio set for ds - could you buy him a train or some track, please' - that would be a tactful way of getting what you'd prefer. And it will go on being played with for years.

Asking for contributions towards a good wooden climbing frame/play house, would achieve the same thing, in future years.

Is there any way you can get the message out via a key relative? In my family I just needed to say something to my Mum and the message would trickle down to everyone :) The message being that DS already has a lot of toys so we really don't need anyone to buy anything, if you'd really like to, then a contribution to a climbing frame or some pieces for a brio train set would be great or some clothes in x size for the winter (if that's what you'd like)

We didn't have no plastic by any means, but we did have a lot more wood than most and honestly it was what got played with for a long time and lasted very well and is what we have kept for future grandkids and visiting little ones (along with lego and skaletrix). We have a lot of wooden railway that got a lot of play, a wooden castle that was loved and loved but had plastic schleich figures in it that were bought by family, a wooden pirate ship and a wooden modular dolls house that could be arranged multiple different ways. We also have wooden cut up fruit/veg/pizza/sandwich stuff that is very popular with little ones. We also had a lot of dress up and accessories and oh my goodness books. Family often chipped in and helped buy big sets or accessories. We didn't watch much kids TV on TV, my kids watched regular TV with us and videos of kids programs they liked and stuff on the computer so they missed a lot of the toy ads which helped a tremendous deal. DS#1 had behavioral issues if he watched much TV so we didn't have it on a lot when they were little.

..and I think it is kind of crazy that mumsnet posters are basically saying that you have to have stuff you don't like in your home. If a poster came on here and said "my mum keeps buying me cushions and curtains for my house and expecting me to keep them and I hate them" you'd all say it she wouldn't be unreasonable to keep what she wanted and donate the rest. Why is it any different from loud distracting kids toys? If you don't want it you should be able to not have it in your house.

We don't own a tv, therefore they haven't been able to see the adverts for certain stuff

We ended up with things I didn't like, Hairyspider - but they were things that the dses liked and enjoyed playing with. After all, the toys are mainly for the children, not the parents, so I compromised on things.

And if some of the family (in this case, the children) like something, even if the parents don't like it, isn't that different to your example of someone buying cushions/curtains no-one in the house likes.

SDT, I don't buy furniture and furnishings that the rest of my family don't like. There were plenty of toys that I liked that my kids also liked. My kids did have a few things that I didn't like but when they were little they were very easy to redirect to things that we both liked.

e.g. if someone bought them moonsand, I don't care how much they liked it, it wasn't going in the house. They could either have play dough in the house in the kitchen or the moonsand could be outside or donated.