To ask relatives not to buy plastic toys?

[MumOnACornishFarm]

I am sure other parents have dealt with similar, so I would really appreciate any advice here. Our DS is turning 1 very soon, and obviously some people will be buying him presents. Of course we do not feel that people should, but in reality we know that most in our close family will. I would really like to not have any more plastic toys; he already has loads although I try to avoid plastic where I can, and I am concious that his beloved jumperoo will still be here in millions of years from now. It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it's something I'm quite concious of.

So, is there any way of me saying this to relatives without sounding like we have any expectation of receiving presents in the first place, and without putting people's noses out of joint? I don't want to make a wish list for him or anything like that, because I appreciate people want to chose what they give. But I would love to avoid more plastic flooding into the house! My partner and I are also agreed that we don't want him to have guns or similar toys, not that people are likely to get that sort of thing for a first birthday (I hope not!) but obviously it's a similar issue that no doubt will crop up later on, and I'm curious to know how other parents handle this.
Equally I might be being very silly to think that I can or should control what people buy him. So, AIBU?

Good for you.

Have several friends who do the no plastic or battery toys. The natural community is pretty strong here in Cornwall.

Give people other ideas though if necessary.

most new stuff is all build one thing and manuals

Yes, but once you've built the one thing, invariably it gets broken up and added to the other broken up sets and then played with the same as a mixed set. It's only no fun if you keep the sets separate or only buy one kind of set, otherwise you soon have a good mix of colours and special pieces and wheels and windows ans roof tiles etc.

The vast majority of DSs 10 ton lego empire started as specific sets or the Creator ones that make 3 models, i think there was only 1 mixed box ever bought

I sympathise op, I kind of feel the same. DS does have a fair bit of garish plastic which he likes, but some of his favourite toys are wooden puzzles and play food. We haven't ever specified what kind of toys people should get him but luckily he has ended up with a good range.

I've just been looking at all the websites people have posted about - Myriad, Babipur, etc. I haven't come across them before - they have so much lovely stuff that I want to play with! but a lot of it is unfortunately too pricey for us.

Hema does some nice simple wooden toys that are cheap, my DS has a few of those.

I am aware that wooden Lego does exist...

http://in-our-spare-time.com/natural-wooden-blocks/

Sil is a cm and her children are slightly older than mine. When dS was turning 1 I had a very similar conversation with to the the OP. She said "You'll want DS to play with nice wooden painted toys. He'll want to play with plastic tat." She was right.

As for guns, yes, boys will turn anything into guns, even if they have no idea what a gun/sword/lightsaber is.

haligh We would never refuse to accept a gift that someone had chosen for our son; WW3 would break out in our family!
drivingmisspotty good idea, but I'm nkt sure it would work for our family. My side of the family is quite small, and my mum could probably spread the word as you suggest. My partner's family is huuuuge and doesn't have much contact with my side, as they're chalk & cheese. Yes it's weird, I know.
Stargirl thank you for the links! I will check them all out when I have a quiet moment. Best of luck with your mission!
inmyplace I'm with you on the gendered toys. I've already had far too many odd looks and under-the-breath comments in shops & sadly from my partner's family about my son's pink socks, flowery bib and mermaid doll. He is 11 months old for crying out loud. It makes me sad and angry. But if somebody's sense of self is so fragile that it can be rocked by a simple pink sock then I feel deeply sorry for them.

My son got a plastic vtech 'discovery tree house' for his 1st birthday. I just threw it our last month as I dropped it and a bit broke which I couldnt fix so left a jagged edge. He is now 14y and I am a child minder of 8 years, its been played with by him, his brother and numerous minded kids and one of the most popular toys we had. Not all plastic toys are cr*p and easily broken. Pick your toys for fun and education not what they are made of, and ask for these for presents if you want to. But be prepared to accept what people want to buy too. Passing them on to younger kids or family, charity shops, selling on etc means that they will get played with over and over again, not just thown in land fill.

Plus as someone said kids will make guns out of anything, think its hard wired into boys especially. I went through the "no guns in this house" stage and ex laughed at me.... he was right it didnt last long. Nowadays its not sticks, bits of lego, fingers etc used for guns, we have a fine collection of Nerf guns we all use

I wouldn't assume you'll get loads of plastic presents. Dd wasn't given thst much for her 1st birthday and a lot was books or clothes. In fact most of the plastic stuff we've bought from charity shops.

Try not to worry about it. If you get too much, give it to a playgroup or children's charity.

Moomintroll yes Babipur is expensive, it's dangerous for me to look. But they do great discounts on sale stuff. It's worth being on their mailing list, in my opinion.

Oh no, I'm going to lose this gun thing, aren't I??

Just to say not all my kids toys were plastic in case you think I am dismissing your concerns about the environment. We have wooden ones too and shelves full of books, jigsaws and games. Kids love a rake in a charity shop too

xmasbaby I hadn't considered giving toys to a playgroup, although we have already given stuff to friends of course. Great suggestion!
Sadly I would put money on us getting loads of plastic, and I am sure it'll be at the 'tat' end of the scale. Partner's parents in particular have got form in this area. I've seen them literally give huge bags full to other kids in the family, and it's all 'landfill' as my dad would say.

Now books is where I think more is more (sorry trees). I could never stop buying hard copy books in favour of a kindle or something. Can't wait until my little one is more engaged with my reading to him! We read (almost) every day, but it's sometimes a struggle to hold his attention. When did people find their children started to engage with books a bit more?

A relative of mine didn't want plastic toys but not for the reasons you don't want them and she just said outright 'I only want wooden toys'
So we all obliged

Best present for DD's first birthday was a set of rainbow plastic stacking cups. They've been used in millions of creative ways over the years including in the bath and as mini plant pots / paint pots etc. They're still as fresh and clean as the day they were bought nearly 13 years ago. We also still have her plastic tea set. My Dneices have wooden sets from John Lewis to go with their wooden kitchens, but though pretty they're useless for actually pouring water in. So DDs ancient one is very much loved. Sometimes plastic is a lot better!

I'd second the train set idea - DS1 got an ikea set when he was 1 and 7 years later he and his brother still play with it, plus added on bits from other systems and expensive Thomas Wooden Railway character engines people have bought them for birthdays now and then.

Do you have a garden OP? I am guessing so if you have a barn... anyway how about telling people you are thinking of getting a wooden swing if they want to club together for something that will be used for years to come - there are some nice ones with baby seats that you can replace with normal seats as they grow .

PS Re the gun thing, when he gets bigger and starts turning everything from drumsticks to brooms into a sword to whack whatever is nearby and looks like a baddy, you may start to wish you had a toy gun to give him!

If you're thinking of wooden trains, take a look at the BigJigs stuff - it's compatible with Brio, but it's cheaper and they've got some good add-in bits for a wooden train set.

There are three sets of toys we have kept from the dses' childhoods - the Lego, the Brio, and the best of the toy cars.

Stargirl - would you buy/accept new Lego, on the basis that it will last well beyond your dc's childhood, and can go on to be played with by many other children? Not having a go, btw - just interested. And where do you stand on metal toy cars?

On the subject of toy guns I have a relative who has banned them. The children can't go to their friends parties at the laser quest, can't join in the fun with water pistols in the summer, if they are bought anything Nerf it is taken away from them etc. And guess who are the only children in the family who run around with anything they can get their hands going 'bang bang I'm going to kill you' etc! I think the fact they are 'not allowed' has just added to their appeal.

I relaxed a little on the no gun thing, water guns and nerf are allowed. Every fork, stick, fairy wand and broom became a gun. It stopped once I stopped fighting it.

My poor boy chews his toast into a gun shape to go 'bang bang'

Bite off the barrel, Greenyogagirl

The love plastic though. Ds (3) favourite thing in whole world is his elc tractor and trailer. Survived many a bashing as they belonged to ds1 and 2

I'm sorry OP but YABU and you sound really privileged and ungrateful. I'd be seriously offended if a relative issued a wish list - presents aren't a given, for gods sake. If people are kind enough to buy your child a gift, no matter what it is, smile and say thank you, if it's not your style, donate it to a local charity shop or playgroup. Everyone's a winner.