To ask relatives not to buy plastic toys?

[MumOnACornishFarm]

I am sure other parents have dealt with similar, so I would really appreciate any advice here. Our DS is turning 1 very soon, and obviously some people will be buying him presents. Of course we do not feel that people should, but in reality we know that most in our close family will. I would really like to not have any more plastic toys; he already has loads although I try to avoid plastic where I can, and I am concious that his beloved jumperoo will still be here in millions of years from now. It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it's something I'm quite concious of.

So, is there any way of me saying this to relatives without sounding like we have any expectation of receiving presents in the first place, and without putting people's noses out of joint? I don't want to make a wish list for him or anything like that, because I appreciate people want to chose what they give. But I would love to avoid more plastic flooding into the house! My partner and I are also agreed that we don't want him to have guns or similar toys, not that people are likely to get that sort of thing for a first birthday (I hope not!) but obviously it's a similar issue that no doubt will crop up later on, and I'm curious to know how other parents handle this.
Equally I might be being very silly to think that I can or should control what people buy him. So, AIBU?

They're definitely not all as eco friendly as one another. As you say, illegal logging for starters! Then there's the paint, which isn't all created equal. I guess it comes down to buying responsibly, from a manufacturer who is transparent about sourcing & production. And of course just buying less of everything. It's not easy, is it?

And packaging! Aaaarrrggh I can't stand when you see a product that barely needs to packaged at all, and it's sealed into really thick plastic which is sharp when you cut it open.

Mum I have actually written 2 posts on here, the first pointing out that lots of people agree with you and essentially find the inordinate amount of toys these days really disconcerting and the second pointing out that you are definitely not a weirdo for not owning a TV. The passé comment was meant to be tongue in cheek.

I am not sure where you found the bitchfest in my posts. You on the other hand are extremely rude. Thanks Aplace for your clarification on my behalf.

I'd tell people you would like bigger sized clothes/books/traintrack or long lasting plastic like duplo or playmobil - your grandchildren will be able to play with that!

I once was invited to go to anSteiner pre school. I had no idea what to expect. My dd was completely attached to a plastic pram. It had to go everywhere with her and so went to the Steiner pre school group.The kids there were far far more interested in the pram than any of he dull wooden toys.
You ds will make his own guns out of whatever he can.
You sound precious, and yes very silly.

Brain I'm sorry if I misread your comment. It didn't read as tongue in cheek to me, it read as a bit competitive. I see and hear a lot of competitive comments (as I'm sure we all do) and I interpreted yours as this. That's the danger of the internet I guess. I am not extremely rude. At worst I misread your comment and made an overly defensive response, then wished you a nice day. Again, I apologise for misinterpretting your comment, it wasn't intentional.

Definitely point people in the direction of what you do want rather than what you don't.

You can drop hints like' DS had such a lovely time playing with a Train track at a friends house the other day. He loved the little wooden trees and the bridge, and spent ages joining all the trucks together' blah blah
.

Hopefully they'll get the idea.

I do know that many children make guns. However, not all do. My brothers and I were also not allowed guns or similar toys, and I do not remember any of us making guns from anything. My son will be allowed to make guns if that's what he wants to do, I would not stop him. But giving him a toy gun is completely different. I don't see this as being 'precious', I see it as giving him something that is appropriate. I don't have a problem with other kids having gun toys, I just don't want my kids to have them. Personal preference, that's all!

Ds still plays with some of the plastic toys he had for his 1st or 2nd birthdays and he's 9 (has sld). He mouths and throws everything so saying they break easy isn't true. He has never had any interest in wooden toys.

"I don't have a problem with other kids having gun toys, I just don't want my kids to have them."

Now this may be tested!

My DS wasn't allowed guns. When he was small I was sure he wouldn't have them, as they were banned in my house when I was small and it was fine.

But, he obsessed about them. When we visited friends he ran to their toy trunks to look for guns. He made guns out of stuff. He visited the neighbours (who are allowed guns) and played gun games with them.

I gave in, in the end. He was playing with guns all the time anyway, the ban seemed pointless, and was turning them into more of an object of desire if anything.

The difference between me when I was little is and DS is that I didn't really even notice the gun ban. He obsessed about them!

You won't know what kind you have till he gets a bit older. Very hard to enforce if you have the second type!

Check out babipur.co.uk. Everything is wooden/ethically made with no plastic toys. Instead of saying 'no plastic please', you could say 'something from Babi Pur.'

Yes, babipur is fab, and I think they have a wish list thing too?
Haha blinkowl I'm sure it will be tested! I can totally see how banning something can sometimes back fire (no pun intended). As well as banning toy guns, my parents also banned the A Team on TV (they are real hippies) and whilst we didn't make or obsess over guns, we did ANYTHING we could to watch the A Team! I think it's worth a try though. I just don't comfortable about toy guns. And camouflage clothing for children. Don't know why, just makes me feel funny.

I don't think you sound precious or silly. Why not just ask for a tin opener though?

Hahaha! I've got one, funnily enough! But I don't believe in giving children tin openers, it only promotes violence against thoughtless partners.

Not RTFT yet.

I just take the approach that I choose whatever toys I want to get my DCs, as that will be the biggest proportion of their stuff. Anything chosen by others will be in the minority so it doesn't make a big impact in the grand scheme of things. Mind you we only have a tiny amount of relatives, and most of them prefer to give me money so I can choose something.

You could always make a public wishlist on Amazon, it doesn't mean you have to send it to people if they don't ask, you don't even need to mention it - but IF someone is so inclined then it will be easy for them to find. I think that gets around the issue of appearing grabby/assuming they'll buy something.

Tin opener :o

Babipur is nice (as is Myriad toys) but I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for something from a specific website like that, as they are quite expensive

When dd was a baby we lived with my mum and her only rules were 'no plastic tat' and 'no toys that make noise'

It was fine, I preferred wooden toys anyway and if people bought gifts I mentioned my mums rules. Mostly people bought her clothes, books or a game. My dd was fine without plastic and has a fabulous imagination so could make a game out of pretty much anything.

However as she got older and we moved out the rules have gone by the wayside to a certain extent as she loves lego and playmobil, we also have a fair amount of Sulvainian family stuff. Its all used and played with regularly and most of it I will keep incase of any Grandchildren, nieces and nephews a few years down the line!

I know what you mean OP. My house is an ordinary three bedroom terraced house and it looks like Toys R Us has puked all over it. And still my Mum brings more plastic toys for the kids whenever she comes round.

I love Myriad but it is quite expensive.

Mulberry bush was one of my favourite places to get toys for dd from and they do a good range for older kids as well.

Buy plastic tat off eBay.

Wash in dishwasher. (Or you could give it a wash with some Ecover and water from your water butt?)

Enjoy.

Wash in dishwasher. (See above.)

Sell on eBay.

Easy. I was all 'wood is best' until the third time DS threw a wooden lemon at me (as small people tend to do.) Brio is all we really have now as the plastic tat is far less painful when you've been bashed with it.

Safety first people!

Ouch to wooden lemon! I have bought second hand toys, including plastic stuff, from ebay. We have a light up musical vtech ball that DS loves, and I want to launch through the window

CruCru lol to Toys R Us puking over your house Sadly our house looks like it has been puked on by B&Q. Not sure which is worse?

I was into the wooden toy thing when my first child was young. There are some considerations though...

-I became concerned about what was in the paint on them - especially the wooden play food that they invariably have in their mouths. I discovered some ver high quality plastic play food and it's MUCh nicer and more durable

-wooden toys amongst young siblings are not as hit/throw/tantrum/bump in the head friendly

-some of our wooden toys now have a lot of wear.....our play kitchen I wouldn't trade but after 4 years of play its getting a bit battered round the edges. We've had some heavy wooden bits that have splintered when dropped (wood is heavy) - like our Melissa and Doug mailbox. great toy but dropped within 24 hrs....permanently dented and scarred.

Some plastics are very thick and durable - they can be played with outside, in water, in sandpits, in mud and then just washed off....giving those toys a wider range of play possibilities.

It's quality and play value that matter - not the material.

I'm trying to strike a balance with DD4 (2)s toys. Somewhere between the uninspiring plain wooden blocks which you could argue are at one extreme and the pinging, flashing, shouting plastic tat which make noises by their bloody selves in the evening and scare the crap out of me are at the other.

We've been 'hand me downed' dozens of the worlds most annoying toys by DHs family. Most seem to come via MIL once she's sick of them. They arrive in carrier bags by the dozen every few months. I smile and accept the bags. With each one as soon as i find myself scrabbling for the off switch grinding my teeth with the urge to chuck the bloody thing out the window - off it goes to charity.