To ask relatives not to buy plastic toys?

[MumOnACornishFarm]

I am sure other parents have dealt with similar, so I would really appreciate any advice here. Our DS is turning 1 very soon, and obviously some people will be buying him presents. Of course we do not feel that people should, but in reality we know that most in our close family will. I would really like to not have any more plastic toys; he already has loads although I try to avoid plastic where I can, and I am concious that his beloved jumperoo will still be here in millions of years from now. It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it's something I'm quite concious of.

So, is there any way of me saying this to relatives without sounding like we have any expectation of receiving presents in the first place, and without putting people's noses out of joint? I don't want to make a wish list for him or anything like that, because I appreciate people want to chose what they give. But I would love to avoid more plastic flooding into the house! My partner and I are also agreed that we don't want him to have guns or similar toys, not that people are likely to get that sort of thing for a first birthday (I hope not!) but obviously it's a similar issue that no doubt will crop up later on, and I'm curious to know how other parents handle this.
Equally I might be being very silly to think that I can or should control what people buy him. So, AIBU?

So eco toys then?
Some plastic is good and will have generations of play, Playmobil...Lego etc. Some is bad, very bad.
Plastic can be recyled btw. We've managed to skip along 10 years without collecting a mass amount of plastic. Books are great. YANBU about guns.

I don't think you can control what gifts are given. You haven't reached the pre-school or primary school birthday years yet! Pace yourself

Wooden toys are heavy. Not great when they get to the throwing stage.
However back to the gift idea. Good luck op. Some people just like to give crap gifts. Especially if you ask them not to. Some people think quantity of gifts over quality is better too. After a few years the guilt of taking them straight to the charity shop will give way to anger and frustration at the giver. Especially if they buy mega blocs instead of the duplo asked for (because they already have some duplo)!
(grumpy emoticon)

Tell them you are building up a brio or similar train set so extra track and trains would be great.

I understand what people are saying about recycling. But the reality is that most of our plastic is not recycled, even if you put it in your council recycling container Even when it is recycled, the amount of energy & water used to produce & recycle it is awful. So it's not simple, sadly.

Wooden toys are often much more expensive than plastic ones but if you are willing to spend the money have a look at Haba. There is a small amount of plastic involved but the toys are mostly fabric or wood. The play food is especially brilliant:

www.haba.de/en_GB/toys/toys/toy-shop-childrens-kitchen/c/1jd3l1

I bought a lot of it for my DNephew when he was little. It now lives at my DM's house. More than a decade and 5 grandchildren later its still going strong and its one of the first things my kids get out when they get to Grandma's house. I can see them still being used when the next generation comes along.

You can offer some present ideas if asked. There's nothing unreasonable about that and I found as my children got older, most family and friends wanted some idea about what to buy.
However, some plastic toys or games are inevitable. I think you already know this and the best approach would be to accept them with good grace.

I don't really remember plastic being a problem when DS was one. Most people asked what we wanted and we directed them to clothes and vouchers so we could buy the next size up car seat. I find people respond much better when you request they buy something rather than request they don't buy something.

I also agree with RonaldDonald that there is a point where your DC will put pressure on you to have certain items and it's highly likely your toy laws will be amended .

There will also be certain family members who will take great delight in thwarting any laws you try to set. The best way to deal with them is to pop the toy/chocolate/clothing into a bag for the charity shop. Honestly you will not have the energy to constantly have this battle and it's not one you can win.

I have terrible plastic guilt.

I try to manage it by making sure the children see the value in things, take care of toys, put them away after use, don't just smash them up etc...so that the plastic isn't treated as a throwaway item and is cared for enough that it can be passed on to someone else instead of binned. Just to have some basic respect for all this "stuff".

As a result a lot of the plastic stuff is still in good condition, going strong, and still being played with by my nearly 2 year old, when it was originally bought for my 5 year old. It'll all be passed on at a local mother and baby sale/charity shop one day.

But some non-plastic stuff my kids got at one:

Wheelybug
First brio set
Melissa and Doug magnetic animals
Jigsaws and shape sorters

And the most successful, longest lasting, most loved 1st birthday present in my house was this:

www.amazon.co.uk/Munchkin-03101-Mozart-Magic-Cube/dp/B00004TFLB/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1464436420&sr=8-1&keywords=munchkin+music+cube

Plastic through and through, but has been one if those toys always out, always in use, totally robust for 5 years now and still going strong...now that doesn't really seem that wasteful to me.

You can do one of 3 things:

#1: Give people a list
#2: Tell everyone that you don't think that many toys will be practical for a 1yr old so you are looking at a really nice gift and would prefer they give £5/10 towards this as it is a little pricey.
#3: Look at the Fisher Price Toot Toot village (it's now turning into a metropolis with each set they bring out though). The Toot Toot toys are what I call 'boys toys' they've been stepped on, fallen on, bashed, thrown about and we've had no cracks, no breakages and after 2 years, we are just about changing the batteries in the noise toys. I think it's fab! It is gender neutral and -I- my DCs love playing with it all. We have the Garage, the Airport, the Zoo and the Train sets. I have DCs aged between 7 - 5wks so we will get a LOT of use from this, but hopefully if we look after it, we can sell it on.

Littlemonkey5 looks great, we're think of starting a toot toot village with DS2's birthday...

Don't be afraid of telling them the truth and the reasons why you want different kind of toys. Sometimes people might buy these because they thing it's cheaper but the truth is you can still get wooden and other material toys for good prices. I work in a nursery and most of our toys are wooden witch is considered the best pedagogic wise. You can ask for books as well, those ones with textures are really good for his age ;) hope it helps.

Agree re. train track. Ds got loads for his bday and now if anyone asks for suggestions I usually ask for a bridge or tunnel etc. It's perfect for stuff like that, and people can still choose something without feeling totally dictated to (I once had a family member send me an item name, catalogue and page ref for their ds's gift. Unrequested, I might add).

Objecting to plastic makes you sound like a bit of a nob - and somewhat silly. So I'm not allowed to buy your kid Lego? I can't think of a better toy.

You're on firmer ground when you reference the sheer volume of toys and not having space. Try to steer people towards books and clothes, but in reality they'll but what they want and it's rude to try and dictate.

For DD's first birthday we asked for Brio or HappyLand. She's 6yo now and we've got it out of the loft for DS. Funnily enough she's loving playing with it again.

I'm not anti-plastic but am anti-tat. Giving family and good friends a pointer can be really helpful. So I have an Amazon wish list for ideas including books, DVDs etc too. We might also ask for annual membership to our local zoo.

We also have bank accounts for the children, so for DS's first birthday we're asking people to put money in his account if they want to and only buy something small. We have so many toys from DD I don't want anymore.

I also buy secondhand too, and donate outgrown toys to charity. So at least they get maximum use before hitting landfill.

However, DD got make-up for her 6th birthday, that I wasn't best pleased about. I'd rather have plastic tat I think

Brio is a great idea. Wooden and a range of prices. Big Jigs is also compatible. Note that some Brio has plastic components but I think you'll ultimately want to pick your battles.

Personally I'd give suggestions and expect to return or pass on some gifts (or accept them as not your choice). I prefer higher quality toys to plastic tat, it doesn't stop the PIL though. I charity shop loads. They will buy it whatever I say so I just accept it and put our energy into helping them get appropriate main presents for the children (which they like to do).

Another options mentioned are clothes, books, jigsaws and board games.

Once they have birthday parties you might need to accept you can't escape it, and it's harder to remove items from older children!

I have given up the fight, then invested in storage for toys. Saved my sanity as I can shut it away and have an adult living room after bed time. As soon as something hasn't come out of the draws for a significant amount of time it is relocate to the children's centre/friends/charity/sold.

I was going to suggest Brio too, Purple. MumOnACornishFarm could ask people for Brio, and that would get round the no plastic thing - and people can spend a little or a lot.

When ds1 was that age, I tried to avoid plastic toys, and we did get some nice wooden toys, but the only one that really got played with was the Brio. But the Brio went on being very popular for years and years - it is, to my mind, the best wooden toy around.

Another idea might be a wooden play kitchen - a bit old for him right now, but something he'd grow into, and our boys loved their toy kitchen.

Some people will immediately brand us as weirdos and think our children will grow up hating us, but we don't own a TV

Sorry I just had to laugh at this OP. Our kids never, ever watch TV that is so passé. Now they watch phones, laptops and tablets. I don't think anyone thinks not owning a tV is weird anymore.

Oh for god's sake brainnotbrawn "passé"??? Really??? I know some people think it's odd. You don't. It doesn't matter two hoots to us either way. Why do some people feel the need to turn a perfectly innocent post such as this one into a bitch fest? Have a lovely day.

Make-up for a 6 yr old? Yes I think I would have been a bit upset about that too!
From most of what I'm seeing Brio is coming out on top. Thanks for all the helpful suggestions. X

We don't have a TV either. I would say it's becoming more and more normal.

On the plastic thing, I'm a huge fan of this brand

www.mybtoys.com/

Who make absolutely gorgeous toys from the material they feel best fit the functionality and look/feel of the toy. Plastic is one of those material, but they have a policy on minimising environmental impact.

Lots of great suggestions op. I'm not sure why you took brainnotbrawn's comments as a bitchfest

I think braintobrawn was pointing out not having a TV isn't a marker of not watching programmes or films or cartoons. So if you say the former, not everyone will assume you mean the latter. It takes a lot more than that to be branded nowadays

SDTG I did think about a play kitchen. My partner is a builder and ripped out a perfectly good kitchen from someone's house. It's stashed in our barn and I was thinking to try and modify it to make a play kitchen, although it will be rather big, so I might save it for another year.

Does anyone actually know if wooden toys are more environmentally friendly than plastic ones... Logging? Shipping? Chemicals, varnishes? Packaging?

I presume they are better but I don't actually know?