To ask relatives not to buy plastic toys?

[MumOnACornishFarm]

I am sure other parents have dealt with similar, so I would really appreciate any advice here. Our DS is turning 1 very soon, and obviously some people will be buying him presents. Of course we do not feel that people should, but in reality we know that most in our close family will. I would really like to not have any more plastic toys; he already has loads although I try to avoid plastic where I can, and I am concious that his beloved jumperoo will still be here in millions of years from now. It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it's something I'm quite concious of.

So, is there any way of me saying this to relatives without sounding like we have any expectation of receiving presents in the first place, and without putting people's noses out of joint? I don't want to make a wish list for him or anything like that, because I appreciate people want to chose what they give. But I would love to avoid more plastic flooding into the house! My partner and I are also agreed that we don't want him to have guns or similar toys, not that people are likely to get that sort of thing for a first birthday (I hope not!) but obviously it's a similar issue that no doubt will crop up later on, and I'm curious to know how other parents handle this.
Equally I might be being very silly to think that I can or should control what people buy him. So, AIBU?

"Picts summed up what I would have said too. We all go through it!
Part of it is adjusting to the idea that real life isn't a mamas and papas catalogue and your living room WILL be blighted by stuff that appeals to your DC more than you."

I dunno. Many people prefer wooden toys because they feel they're inherently better in some way, and don't want "plastic tat" in their houses.

If that was what the OP was saying, then your post would be spot on.

But if she's objecting for ecological reasons, that's different IMO and we shouldn't be putting her off!

We are racing towards ecological disaster, and none of us are doing enough to prevent a future for our children, and their children that is pretty terrifying.

We need to be smarter, all of us, than seeing someone trying to avoid plastic, roll our eyes and say "you'll grow out of it" essentially.

Understand what you mean, some cheap plastic toys DS received were so prolific and rubbish, they were in the bin after a few months, what a waste.

However, WOW toys were some of DS's favourites at that age and were fabulous quality and therefore able to be recycled and reused. I wouldn't avoid them. For older children, playmobil is fantastic and provided so many hours of good old fashioned imaginative play (he wasn't so keen on the building side of Lego, preferring the story telling kind of play).

We've kept the best of our toys for (hopeful) future grandchildren. I think you'd be better to aim for quality not quantity rather than plastic v non plastic.

There is no way you can make this request (however justified) without coming across as a twat.

Sorry.

this wow fire engine would definitely be on my gift list for a 1 year old

Better to steer them towards the things that you do want like books than away from the things that you don't.

I too agree with the posters that have pointed out how many "eco friendly" families take numerous flights, have lots of energy sapping devices but insist on wooden toys and cant see the irony in this.

When ours were really little we did a toy swop thing amongst our group of friends. instead of buying a new toy, you choose one your child either has a duplicate of or doesn't really play with, wrap it up and give this as the birthday gift. it was a brilliantly simple idea. we did it for Christmas lucky dips etc. we always asked for charity shop toys rather than new ones and the kids ended up with some great things to play with. all of which are now back in the charity shops and being played with by someone else.

I don't think there's any gracious way of shaping gifts for your children in the absence of someone specifically asking what you think they'd like.

I always cleared out the most unbearable crap when my kids were at nursery. My least favourite is the Kinder Bueno egg toys.

ILostIt yes, we try to. It's very, very hard and of course we haven't eliminated plastic from our lives, and never will. Plastic has some amazing uses, it's great to clean, it's strong...we all know this. But I avoid it where I can.
Some people will immediately brand us as weirdos and think our children will grow up hating us, but we don't own a TV. Not that the licencing people will believe us!

I lost - yes we try and limit plastic as much as possible as adults to. We use glass containers, reusable packaging, etc. We aren't a plastic free household at all, but limit where possible.
It's not so much only buying anything in certain material, but buying less of everything in general regardless.

We don't own a tv either

Twisted, you and your DP sound like bloody nightmares. Children like whatever shitty plastic tat they're bought. You're underminig your SIL. But you know best I'm sure.

OP. We asked for more sustainable toys or books but still get given crap. It gets broken by DC's or taken to the charity shop. Best of luck.

We need to be smarter, all of us, than seeing someone trying to avoid plastic, roll our eyes and say "you'll grow out of it" essentially.

Agreed.

The kind of thoughtless proliferation of toys is a problem. How weird must it have been when the Happy Meal toys first arrived on the scene? Now it's normal.

Plastic is recyclable OP and most toys eventually end up in 3rd world countries after they've done the round in the charity shops. But if it bothers you that much ask for books or traditional toys

Actually most of the plastic we consume in the uk is not recycled. Even a great deal of the plastic that we put in our recycling boxes is not recycled. And recycling ignores the harm done to the environment of producing & shipping the item in the first place.

I had the same issue as you op. I am afraid a wish list is your best option. And lots of "oh xxxx is loving playing with all the wooden toys at playgroup, it would be lovely to have some at home" comments!

Melissa & Doug do lots of lovely ones and Big Jigs do too. They do a full range of price ranges and TK Maxx always have them in on offer

As blink owl says, ask for wooden train stuff. Brio costs a sodding fortune but lasts really well and will be played with for years. The other brands do fit with it but IME aren't quite as durable.

Where possible I would specify what you would like, specially if anyone asks. Or possibly vouchers that you can put toward something that will last. Also, you can always regift anything you don't like - your baby will be one the wiser. That's possibly what the plastic givers are already doing.

Twistedheartache -- did I understand you right? You deliberately buy gifts you know your SIL won't like, and then when she responds to your PA by saying 'we'll just leave this one here' you feel that you have somehow won?

Is this because:
Your SIL is then pressured into having something in her house she doesn't like?
Your niece likes to toy, but can't have it?
You waste your money on something you know won't be played with?

Or have I misunderstood?

*to = a

Brio is a great idea! Not sure why this didn't occur to us. And everyone can buy a bit towards a set, whatever their budget. Thanks everyone!

I wouldn't bother thinking about this. Just accept the presents and get rid of any objectionable ones and slowly move the ones you don't like into the charity pile. This is the type of thing you will look back at when your DC is older and cringe.

We didn't ever have guns either but my gentle, calm book'ish kids still made Lego and toast guns .

BTW are you genuinely against all things plastic or just tacky plastic toys?

My kids favourite range of toys were a range of fisher price toys which were 100% plastic. They had a castle, a pirate ship, a Wild West scene etc. They lasted years and my kids must have spent hours and hours and hours playing with them. This is a photo of the same castle my kids had.

Awh- glass containers or bottles are strong. They aren't just thin glass. Mine usually have school lunch so not a daily thing, but otherwise yes they take them. They haven't smashed in 5 years use ( mine have used them since tiny for snacks). We also use stainless steal thermal containers with hot food in for outside. They don't discolour either after using things like sauces in which I hated with plastic.

I'm not against all plastic. My son has plastic toys that are brilliant; they couldn't have been made from anything but plastic. We'll take good care of them and then hand them on. But I object to plastic when there's a perfectly suitable alternative (cloth dolls, wooden blocks, etc) and I object generally to poorly made toys which aren't built to last. In my opinion that usually means plastic crap, but it's sometimes wood too. Ultimately I object to too much stuff!

I would just add that this is NOT about his toys making our house look horrible. I laughed out loud at the thought of our living room looking like a mamas & papas catalogue. It doesn't and never will! In fact it is quite literally a building site.