To ask relatives not to buy plastic toys?

[MumOnACornishFarm]

I am sure other parents have dealt with similar, so I would really appreciate any advice here. Our DS is turning 1 very soon, and obviously some people will be buying him presents. Of course we do not feel that people should, but in reality we know that most in our close family will. I would really like to not have any more plastic toys; he already has loads although I try to avoid plastic where I can, and I am concious that his beloved jumperoo will still be here in millions of years from now. It doesn't keep me awake at night, but it's something I'm quite concious of.

So, is there any way of me saying this to relatives without sounding like we have any expectation of receiving presents in the first place, and without putting people's noses out of joint? I don't want to make a wish list for him or anything like that, because I appreciate people want to chose what they give. But I would love to avoid more plastic flooding into the house! My partner and I are also agreed that we don't want him to have guns or similar toys, not that people are likely to get that sort of thing for a first birthday (I hope not!) but obviously it's a similar issue that no doubt will crop up later on, and I'm curious to know how other parents handle this.
Equally I might be being very silly to think that I can or should control what people buy him. So, AIBU?

To be honest I personally would be more concerned with the complete over proliferation of toys in the house than just specifically the material they are made from.

With family I ask if possible if they can give clothes, since if the birthday children have a party it is impossible to police the plastic toys from school friends. I give book vouchers or cinema vouchers as childrens presents, although they come as a plastic card lately which is not great but maybe they might be a bit better than a massive plastic card.

Gah a massive plastic toy not a plastic card.

If you get wooden toys can you be sure that the wood is ethically sourced? Plastic used in toys is generally a buy product of other industries (eg oil) so personally I'd rather have that than wood from potentially dodgy sources.

I used to hate plastic toys but to be honest, most of the toys ds has played with longest and loved most, are plastic. Not just stuff like Lego but if he has two of things - say a plastic fire engine and a wooden one - then almost always the plastic one is favoured. They're often more interactive etc. So I've backed off my wooden crusade.

I'm sorry but I don't think you can request non plastic toys. I appreciate the sentiment but I think it just seems a bit rude.

DH and I had the same thoughts as you when my DCs were younger so see where you are coming from.

BUT I have learned that worrying too much about what others give your kids is a road to stress and hand-wringing - the sooner you embrace the fact that you will always get gifts you don't like I'm looking at you, singing truck the less stressful children's birthdays will be. Just breathe deeply, and remember that things can be put away and given to a charity shop later.

Besides, some of my kids' fave toys are made of plastic and were gifts from other people that I never would have thought to give them myself. For every singing truck that falls apart, there is often something really good that the DCs play with for years

YABU.
When your child has finished playing with them, pass them onto a refuge or charity shop. There are millions of children across the world whose greatest wish is that an overload of plastic toys was biggest worry.

Some plastic toys are crap. Some are not. Lego has already been mentioned but also Happyland, Playmobil, Sylvanian families and Imaginext are brilliant toys. We have had their wooden counterparts but in general the plastic ones have lasted better and have been played with more.

Plastic toys are great - I can buy them in charity shops when you've finished with them and get them real clean to give them to DS. I wouldn't be as confident about getting wooden or fabric toys properly clean before DS starts gumming them. DS would have far fewer toys if it wasn't for charity shopping and eBay!

See mine have syvanian figures, but use in their wooden dolls house. It's my compromise. We haven't got space anyway for houses from all different figures or play sets, so we just have a nice wooden dolls house. And they swap over what goes in there. Sometimes it's animals, sometimes dolls and furniture, sometimes Lego figures etc.

And yes it's more the fact we simply don't want and can't have that many toys. Family members buy them experiences like annual passes to local zoo, or we ask for things that get used up like art supplies

I went through a Steiner-y phase when mine were young and tried to move towards more natural/open ended toys (I absolutely hate that term now) The truth was though that mine would rather have had the cheap plastic dolls rather than the hideously expensive, 100% organic cotton faceless ones.

I think you can gear them towards a certain item, such as books etc but to say "no plastic" might make things a bit difficult, unless you give them a catalogue such as Myriad etc. Wooden toys per se are not more ethical/less damaging to environment but IMHO the ethical sourced ones are prohibitively expensive.

Good quality plastic toys last for years. I have the same toys for #5 that I did for dc1.

Im with you op! Unfortunately plastic stuff is often cheaper and more readily available so its likely they will get you it and also perhaps not really be aware of the other types of gift they could get you. I suppose you just have to accept it unless they ask what you might prefer and then you keep it and regift or donate some of it!

I think there is a difference between plastic tat that barely gets played with before it heads to landfill and toys like Lego, Duplo and Playmobil that are well made and passed on from generation to generation. Those quality toys won't end up in landfil - they will be kept, passed on or sold on to other children to play with. So it isn't as clear cut as you might think.

It's great that your family will accommodate that Artandco mine either don't ask or ask and buy something completely different. PIL asked if they could buy DS2 a wooden easel for his second birthday, I was thrilled. On the day they turned up with a giant plastic zombie pirate ship.

Tell everybody you are short of Lego Duplo or books. Not at 1, but from 3 onwards we were very successful always saying Lego when asked for gift idea. It allows people to spend £5 or £80 as they wish and it is always compatible.

Ultimately the battle is hard and pointless. The plastic crap years are short and one long haul flight is probably worse for the environment than the grand total of plastic tat for a toddler. I wish I hadn't made such a fuss about it, it's a bit precious and I bet people remember it ages after the kids have outgrown the tat.

Most of us went through a 'my child will have wonderful wooden toys and delightful handmade items only' phase

Then they age and desperately want all the tat you despise.

Instead of sounding like a dick to your rellys and having them sneer endlessly at you in yrs to come when your house becomes Elsa's palace I recommend being grateful for what you get.
I speak from bitter experience

lelloteddy come on, I wasn't for a second suggesting that this was a serious problem by world standards. Let's not turn this post into something it really wasn't. And in my experience you'd be hard pushed to find a parent who on one hand is concerned about the volume of plastic they buy and consume, and on the other hand couldn't give a hoot about issues like poverty or inequality.

MumOnACornishFarm I think the key will be to communicate that you don't want too much plastic for environmental reasons, not because you think wooden toys are "superior" or something like that.

Even on this thread you've explained it's the permanence of the material you're concerned with, yet people are reinterpreting it as a criticism on the quality of plastic toys.

The risk you run with your family is that they will reinterpret it as a criticism on their choice of toys.

If you can frame clearly, without doubt it as an ecological concern, then they may roll their eyes privately, but indulge you in your "weird hippy ways" rather than take it as a criticism of their choices.

I totally agree with your stance btw! Not saying you're a weird! But that maybe others who don't get it might perceive you to be.

Our main battle has been with pink for DD. If I hadn't made it very clear I can't stand pink, she'd be head to toe in it! As it is, I think the older relatives think I'm batty, but they do try, they don't quite get it, they tend to send DD stuff in coral, or baby-blue, rather than the brights I buy for her myself, and the odd only half-pink thing, but I appreciate that they're trying.

Ultimately the battle is hard and pointless. The plastic crap years are short and one long haul flight is probably worse for the environment than the grand total of plastic tat for a toddler. I wish I hadn't made such a fuss about it, it's a bit precious and I bet people remember it ages after the kids have outgrown the tat.

Agree with this entirely. You can request things like books or clothes or Lego, but only if people ask.

You will look back at this and laugh.

Picts summed up what I would have said too. We all go through it!
Part of it is adjusting to the idea that real life isn't a mamas and papas catalogue and your living room WILL be blighted by stuff that appeals to your DC more than you.

They outgrow quickly when young so the singing light up fire engine walker will soon go.

Later on you can put it about that they are collecting something expensive and small like brio, lego or play mobil. Or a contribution to a decent sandpit or trampoline or bike of your choice.

A toy doesn't become inherently better just by being wood but the best ones for us were -wooden railway, wooden balance bike , little table and chairs, I really wanted the ikea kitchen too. But there are some excellent plastic toys too - the VTECH bus is one IMO.

Have you got a wooden train set? Most of the different brands go together, and building an enormous set over time can be great fun. Maybe they could all contribute to that?

From experience, Brio (expensive, quality brand) fits with Tesco own brand, Lidl, Melissa and Doug, or local independent shop's track and Ikea if you kinda force it together, so there's something for every budget.

It's a thing that can be built over years because, as well as the track there's standard trains, trains that go, platforms, figures etc etc.

It's a very versatile toy as when they're little they're interested in the movement, and holding the trains. As they get older they can get into building the tracks and role play with characters going on journeys etc.

At 1 your DS may be a little young but I expect he will start showing interest in trains at some point this year.

When your kids are babies or toddlers, its easy to control to control that they only play with eco-friendly educational wooden building blocks. But as soon as they're old enough to get grasp of capitalist society, they will want to have what everybody else has, whats shown on tv, and whats on supermarket shelves. And they will hate you if you don't let them have 'normal' stuff.

Do you apply the plastic limit to yourselves though? A lot of adults have mountains of plastic too!...Tv, iPad, laptop, plastic food containers, coat hangers, furniture, tubes of makeup , headphones, dvd cases, bin liners, the list is endless.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone! Artandco I'm so glad to hear you are winning this battle! I wish I was confident that we can too. Some family members already know our preferences, some share and respect them. Others I know would dismiss it is hippy crap or think I'm being superior in some way, which I wasn't trying to be, and don't believe I am.
If I had my wish I'd have very, very few birthday gifts for him. Not only because of space, but because he already has so much and I don't think it's good for children or the planet to have gazillions of toys, plastic or wood. Books are another matter

Painted wooden toys make great crayons and are most efficient at putting holes in windows.