Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think charging a child to go to a party is a bit odd?

200 replies

PotholesinMyLawn · 25/05/2016 23:45

My DC has been invited to a party. It's an activity thing for a birthday a 12th.

The party is just over an hour aways drive and on the invite it says to hand in the contribution £17 in two weeks time.

Let me know if I'm weird here but I pay for my kids party based on what I can afford- I don't and haven't ever asked for a donation towards it.

Am I odd to think it's cheeky.

Unfortunately DC really wants to go.

The father has text me also when I enquired to say that if she doesn't have the numbers on the day they will reschedule the day (so we will have driven all the way there and it may not go ahead????)

OP posts:
EscobarsMule · 26/05/2016 07:36

I do feel sorry for the birthday child.

LagunaBubbles · 26/05/2016 07:40

Who on earth thinks this is a normal thing to do?? You don't charge for a birthday party!

dangerrabbit · 26/05/2016 07:41

Good call to decline, OP.

All charging controversy aside, who does full class parties for Year 7s anyway?!

Janecc · 26/05/2016 07:42

Good point Mule.

KayTee87 · 26/05/2016 07:43

I would explain to him that with the £17 entry fee, £20 in fuel, £20 on present and £5 on lunch it's £60 odd just to attend and you can't justify paying it. I would buy the boy a present any ask my dc if he wanted to invite him round another time.
The dad might not have thought about all the costs adding up.

lem73 · 26/05/2016 07:52

I'd phone the place directly and find out how much they actually charge.

Onlyicanclean10 · 26/05/2016 07:55

Op my dd and a her friends were invited to another friends 16 th. If that do at a beautiful venue with fireworks and food etc. We all thought how lovely until the birthday girl announced all going needed to pay £25 to her to go. Angry

As she's a good kid and all the kids have known each other for years they all went and paid and mum put endjess photos on fb while her friends were admiring what a lovely party she organised for her dd. She didn't mention at the other kids expense Hmm

Some people are so bloody cheeky.

Basically op he's charging you for the privilege of you attending his kids party. Just rude

Zhabr · 26/05/2016 07:56

never heard about such practice either. Better to use that money for your DC's treat instead, OP.

HouseOfBiscuits · 26/05/2016 08:02

YANBU. You invite, you pay.

Then when your child goes to someone else's party, the hosts pay.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 26/05/2016 08:15

Yanbu

Never heard of charging for parties.

Only1scoop · 26/05/2016 08:28

He won't have paid upfront

Let's face it if it's say a whole class of 32 children and the party is an hour away it's highly unlikely that they would all have rsvp'd yes.

Floggingmolly · 26/05/2016 08:30

No wonder he can invite the whole class, if he's expecting the kids to pay for themselves Hmm. Why wouldn't you just invite about 6 or 8 good friends and fund it properly?
Only reason I can think of is birthday boy would then only get 6 or 8 presents instead of 30+.

Only1scoop · 26/05/2016 08:30

Onlyi Shock

pilates · 26/05/2016 08:43

YANBU

and yes I would decline the invite, what a cheek.

I would be very surprised if the event takes place at all.

Catmuffin · 26/05/2016 08:43

No definitely on to charge. Surely they don't mean you'd have to drive there and be sent home if not enough turn up though. That doesn't sound right. Maybe he means he'd text in advance to say it's been postponed if not enough say they are coming or lots pull out?

Catmuffin · 26/05/2016 08:44

Definitely not on that should say

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 26/05/2016 08:50

Id personally pay it for the sake of the childs party and my own child but it is cheeky

cheekyfunkymonkey · 26/05/2016 08:52

Decline and make it clear that you can't afford it ( so when all the other parents do the same and he doesn't get the number you are not having to come up with a new excuse for rearranged date!). What a cheek!

Floggingmolly · 26/05/2016 09:13

Why would you pay it "for the sake of the child's party", Chocolate? It's the child's Dad who's ballsed it up, it's hardly down to the paying customers guests to avoid disappointing him.

Adelecarberry87 · 26/05/2016 09:25

They aren't providing food either dear god. Do the kids even get a slice of birthday cake or is it another cheaper cake or none at all? ( I never understand this 😕) The dad wants everyone to attend make a fuss on his DS and he receives as many presents as possible without having to pay out for the other children attending. Personally if it was me I would tell the dad the truth that my DS will not be paying for the privilege to attend his DS party and its not to the done thing to charge party goers. The expections for people spend 60plus is unreasonable just to attend . You will find out OP not many people will not attend for the blatant rudeness of this bloke. I would be utter embrassed if my ex did this.

TwirlsInTwirlsOutAgain · 26/05/2016 14:52

I think it's mad. The dad has invited the whole class. And said he has paid for 32

You what?! This isn't just something made up to try and hit the Daily Mail, is it?! Sorry, but I've never heard anything like it in my life!!
With a 12 year old and an 8 year old, I've arranged loads of kids parties and also been to loads too.
You invite the whole class, you PAY for the whole class, not just half of them! Confused
You host whatever birthday party you can afford. If you can only pay for a few, then you just invite them. Not pay for them and then tell the rest they have to stump up, that's ridiculous.

00100001 · 26/05/2016 14:58

In theory I have no objection to contributing to a small party (eg pay for the cinema ticket) and Birthday parents pay for a drink and sweets for everyone. If it was s mall group of very good friends and I knew money was tough. And they insisted on no presents because of this, and they'll get all the kids there and back etc etc etc.

But as PPs have said, who invites a WHOLE class to a party at 12 years old? Confused and then what will parents do if no-one attends because they can't afford it or get transport etc?

weird.

Snurf · 26/05/2016 15:10

What a cheeky request! Think you've made the right choice not to go. I wouldn't bother checking prices, making up excuses or over explaining a simple text will do:
sorry but unfortunately DS can't make your sons party, hope he has a great time though.

AgentPineapple · 26/05/2016 15:15

Perhaps you should ask him what the contribution is for, and just tell him that plus petrol plus gift, for a party which may not even go ahead is too much and he might want to rethink his party idea, maybe he just hasn't thought it through. Tell him that you are likely not the only parent in this position and he may end up with low numbers which would not make for a good day for his DC... Perhaps you could suggest an alternative?

MurphysChild · 26/05/2016 15:22

Just decline politely, you will not be the only one for sure.