Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think charging a child to go to a party is a bit odd?

200 replies

PotholesinMyLawn · 25/05/2016 23:45

My DC has been invited to a party. It's an activity thing for a birthday a 12th.

The party is just over an hour aways drive and on the invite it says to hand in the contribution £17 in two weeks time.

Let me know if I'm weird here but I pay for my kids party based on what I can afford- I don't and haven't ever asked for a donation towards it.

Am I odd to think it's cheeky.

Unfortunately DC really wants to go.

The father has text me also when I enquired to say that if she doesn't have the numbers on the day they will reschedule the day (so we will have driven all the way there and it may not go ahead????)

OP posts:
suspiciousofgoldfish · 26/05/2016 06:13

Hilarious! Grin
Love the idea of charging for kids parties, I am definitely doing this.

Cheeky git.

(That being said, I think if DH was in charge of parties he would probably try this too - he's ever so tight thrifty.)

suspiciousofgoldfish · 26/05/2016 06:14

Hilarious! Grin
Love the idea of charging for kids parties, I am definitely doing this.

Cheeky git.

(That being said, I think if DH was in charge of parties he would probably try this too - he's ever so tight thrifty.)

Janecc · 26/05/2016 06:21

Surely by age 12 if money is tight, you have a sleepover and pizza for a few friends. My DD is going to be 8 so maybe I'm wrong. Or otherwise have less guests.

Only1scoop · 26/05/2016 06:22

I don't believe for a minute he's paid for 32 of them. He may have paid a deposit to reserve it etc.

I'm thinking it may be a Go Ape type thing? I'd be checking how much it is surely he's not making a profit Shock

I think someone who invites the whole class and expects them to pay and travel is slightly deluded.

zad716 · 26/05/2016 06:23

I can understand the organising of an event where you really have to attend as a group (eg paint balling) but is really too expensive for a single party (joint party might be an option). It though needs to be organised as a group. Definitely cheeky to just organise as a birthday party and charge for.

Curious to know what the event is and what the minimum numbers would be.

leelu66 · 26/05/2016 06:29

I don't believe he has already paid for 32 guests at £17 each. That's £544!

He's trying to guilt trip you all into paying for his son's birthday, with minimal cost to himself.

Could you call the activity place and find out the charges?

leelu66 · 26/05/2016 06:30

only1scoop xpost!

greenfolder · 26/05/2016 06:38

Gosh. No.
Interestingly though, maybe we should get every party guest to pay a fiver deposit if they say they are coming to a party, repayable when they arrive at the door? Might save a whole heap of no shows? Lol

littlemonkey5 · 26/05/2016 06:39

A normal party invite is usually a village hall, pizza hut or at home. If it were anything else, I would expect the invite to say this....... I don't mind sending with spending money but normally it is suggested rather than required or requested.

Do you know where they are going? £17 seems a bit specific and more like an entry fee. If they are going somewhere like GoApe etc, I would want to know for safety reasons. My boys are rough & tumble types but I want to know if something is high-risk, there will be adequate supervision and insurance in case something goes wrong.

TBH if a party is roughly an hour away, I'd factor in a minibus hire or coach to get them all there in one go but still wouldn't charge guests. If I can't afford to throw the party, I won't throw it - simple.

KoalaDownUnder · 26/05/2016 06:44

Ugh, rude!

If they can't afford to pay for their guests, they need to have a different kind of party.

Namehanger · 26/05/2016 06:49

Paintball £29.99 per guest, but all day and DS2 only asking 5 friends. That is nearly £200 aargh.

diddl · 26/05/2016 06:55

My child wouldn't be going either.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 07:02

Is this a recently single Disney on a budget weekend dad who's never been the one to organise the party before by any chance...?

DD was invited to legoland spur of the moment by a friend on the friend's her weekend at her dads not very long after the friend's parents split - no vouchers, all planning to pay full entry price, excited 11 year olds on the phone at 8pm on a friday and me having to say no, you can't have 37€ entrance plus spending money for a random no special reason Saturday with a friend... The dad is a nice bloke but just clueless about now actually trying to parent his two kids eow and unfortunately not well enough off to do the Disney dad thing freely!

Original poster
PotholesinMyLawn · 26/05/2016 07:07

I'm quite relieved
I think they are really cheeky and I'm going to arrange something for us to do together -
And yes it's an activity thing and we'd also have to give DC money for eating too Hmm

I'm going to decline it. We're not rolling in it but I had 5 over for a sleepover and all they could eat of KFC and they all denned happy with that my for DC bday. Grin

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 26/05/2016 07:10

He's paid for 32 but is charging you £17? I'm confused?

christinarossetti · 26/05/2016 07:11

Wise to decline.

Good work OP

Coconutty · 26/05/2016 07:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PotholesinMyLawn · 26/05/2016 07:15

Roll on
He explained to me that he has paid for 32 children and all of us have been asked for £17
Maybe everyone else will agree and go- just seems grabby to me.

OP posts:
Janecc · 26/05/2016 07:16

So it's not even £17. They're not even providing food. How cheeky. No one answered my sleepover question for 12 yr olds but I see that's what you did op. Baffling behaviour.

LadyCallandraDaviot · 26/05/2016 07:19

as a pp said, if it is something like paintballing, the cost to play only includes so many bullets and you have to pay for extra - one of my DS's previous parties we paid for everyone to play, and eat, but asked them to bring money for extra bullets (think it was £10 a head) - If it is something like this I do think the hosts should have made it very clear to guests though.

228agreenend · 26/05/2016 07:24

Definantly a cheek For a number of reasons. Firstly asking for a donation (which is greater that I would give as a gift), secondly not providing food, and thirdly for a party over an hour away.

WellErrr · 26/05/2016 07:25

I definitely wouldn't support this. And I'd tell him why in incredulous tones.

Waltermittythesequel · 26/05/2016 07:25

Do let us know if you get a cheeky response when you decline! Grin

228agreenend · 26/05/2016 07:26

Jan - I agree , by 12 you have a sleepover, or bowling, or cinema and meal, with a few friends (within your budget). Not aware of many people having whole class parties at 12 years old.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 07:27

Potholes do you know any other parebts of invitees well enough to chat to them? I suppose at 12 you might not, unless they are friends who have carried over from primary to secondary. ..

I am just anticipating what will happen next - the whole rumour mill where evvveryyyone else is going and your 12 yo is the ooooonnnllly one who isn't (except that that possibly won't be true and 30 other parents are being told the same thing...)