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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visiting friend brought a man home.

425 replies

RevealTheHiddenBeach · 21/05/2016 07:39

Not sure on this one. I live with dh in a little 2 bed. Friend has been staying with us all week whilst in our area with her work. We've had a lovely week. Last night she went out with some other people and brought a man home unannounced.

I feel really uncomfortable about this and also like it's a real cheek! She leaves today. We were going to have a nice breakfast but I dont want to make idle small talk with strangers in my own house first thing!

So... aibu to feel this way and wibu to say something?!

OP posts:
Snoringlittlemonkey · 21/05/2016 08:48

Is anyone thinking of the Trainspotting breakfast scene Grin

Lweji · 21/05/2016 08:48

The problem is that it was not the friend's call to make. It was the OP and her husband and they were hardly given the chance to veto the man.

Your OH, OP, must get a backbone, though.

Jimjamjoos · 21/05/2016 08:49

Oh whatever! You're all in your 20s, no dc in the house. She was obviously pissed. Yeah, maybe a bit rude but she's probably mortified herself. It's not that big a deal. I would just feel happy that I was settled and didn't have to go through all that anymore! Make them a cuppa and shout them down!

SuperFlyHigh · 21/05/2016 08:49

Sorry but I think you lot are overracting a bit! There are no kids, it's a drunken episode, friend could have had a nasty breakup and got drunk and fancied a shag. Or she misjudged and made an error inviting him back.

I doubt she does this normally, I doubt she's being rude to her friend. In fact I expect friend will probably go out and get big bunch of flowers and wine for OP and her DH as an apology (here's hoping) or take them out to dinner to say sorry. But she fucked up don't crucify her!

problembottom · 21/05/2016 08:50

I had a friend try this last year but DP chucked him out as soon as we realised. No thank you!

SuperFlyHigh · 21/05/2016 08:50

Snoring yes... Epic! Grin

timelytess · 21/05/2016 08:50

Awful. Text her that its time she and her friend leave. When you see her on her way out tell her you won't be inviting her again.

CheradenineZakalwe · 21/05/2016 08:51

Rude to bring a stranger back. A known partner, fine, no sexual policing here! But I wouldn't want randoms in my house.

Not the same, but I once travelled to see my friend at uni. We went out and half way through the night she left me to go and chat up some bloke, then ended up bringing him back with us! I ended up sat in the lounge on my own whilst they disappeared to the bedroom. Was pretty pissed off, I was going through a tough breakup at the time so I might not have been the best company, but still...

jonsnowssocks · 21/05/2016 08:51

YANBU. If she was so desperate to sleep with him, she should have texted you that she was staying out overnight and then gone back to his place. that's what i did

I wouldn't get really cross with her though, as it seems no damage was done this time. But definitely mention that you weren't too pleased about it, and definitely definitely make her put her own gross sex sheets in the wash.

ElspethFlashman · 21/05/2016 08:52

Just text two words to her:

"Bad form".

She'll get the message right enough.

YoureSoSlyButSoAmI · 21/05/2016 08:55

Cheeky mare.

LittleBearPad · 21/05/2016 08:57

Bad form. Have we time-travelled back to the 1920s. Is the OP supposed to hrumph at the same time.

It's not ideal but there's no kids in the house and she's almost certainly mortified. I'd take up residence on the sofa to watch the exit scene.

Dozer · 21/05/2016 08:57

Love "British it out"!

I would get ready to go out at 9 as planned, skip breakfast and just before had to leave go down for a nosey. I wouldn't offer breakfast!

DH would then barge around as he usually does and hopefully the man would be embarrassed and leave.

123itsme · 21/05/2016 08:58

I was the stranger many many years ago in a similar situation, and it wasn't explained it wasn't his house!! Even worse, I recognised the host as the 'always tied up working, boyfriend' seeing my friend, so was cringe worthy and incredibly awkward as I'm sure he was waiting for me to drop him in it to his wife!! I didn't but it put me off passionate one night stands!!!

NightWanderer · 21/05/2016 08:58

I was totally thinking about Trainspotting too !!

It is so rude and embarassing but id probably find it funny.

CaveMum · 21/05/2016 08:59

Very rude of her. At the very least she should have texted you in advance to ask if it was ok.

SeasonalVag · 21/05/2016 09:00

Get the Hoover out.

BYOSnowman · 21/05/2016 09:02

That is beyond rude. if you are a guest in someone's house you ask before you bring another guest into the house. What they do with the guest isn't the relevant bit. She could have brought him back to play scrabble and it would still be rude.

I hope she at least strips the bed for you (unlike my sil who also left some other little surprises - Bleurgh).

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 21/05/2016 09:03

123 more explanation needed please! So, the host was actually married and lying to your friend?

Did you tell your friend?Shock

Dangerouswoman · 21/05/2016 09:03

Yes start crashing and banging and hoovering right outside the bedroom. Make it clear you're up for the day and he needs to get out.

I think it's awful to bring back a random shag to someone else's home. At least she should chuck him out early and apologise to you.

I used to have lodgers and hated them bringing back pissheads for a one night stand but I had no kids in those days so never said anything.

HooplaLoopla1 · 21/05/2016 09:05

Wow! The button ups are out in force aren't they? I don't think it matters-initially I read it from the POV that you had children. Now I know you don't, I'm thinking so what??? All this 'he might've been an axe murderer/robber/Dick Turpin' nonsense, clearly there's a lot of people who have never had a one night stand! Fair enough your choice, but for the visitor to have brought someone back to the OP's house, she probably thought the OP would've been ok with it, suggesting (possibly) this isn't such alien behaviour to the OP? Hardly the crime of the century what she's done or a need to 'end the friendship' surely?

TheNaze73 · 21/05/2016 09:05

YANBU. It's so wrong

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 21/05/2016 09:06

OP, I would barge into her room, plonk myself onto the bed where they both are canoodling / suffering from post one night stand shock and loudly ask "So did you kids use a condom?!" followed by a lecture on safe sex and vaginal warts Grin

KERALA1 · 21/05/2016 09:06

Snort at policing of sexuality comment. It's not even the sex it's bringing an unknown into someone else's home to sleep without asking their permission is just wrong, presumptuous and rude.

We host foreign students and I always refuse any request for friend to stay over.

MissElizaBennettsBookmark · 21/05/2016 09:11

SO rude...

Did you text her yet OP?

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