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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visiting friend brought a man home.

425 replies

RevealTheHiddenBeach · 21/05/2016 07:39

Not sure on this one. I live with dh in a little 2 bed. Friend has been staying with us all week whilst in our area with her work. We've had a lovely week. Last night she went out with some other people and brought a man home unannounced.

I feel really uncomfortable about this and also like it's a real cheek! She leaves today. We were going to have a nice breakfast but I dont want to make idle small talk with strangers in my own house first thing!

So... aibu to feel this way and wibu to say something?!

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 21/05/2016 08:21

Have you not texted her to tell her to get rid of him yet? And get her to strip the bed and put the machine on.

Lighten up? Grow the fuck up. You don't invite a stranger into someone else's home for any reason. It's incredibly rude and disrespectful.

GlitteryFluff · 21/05/2016 08:23

I think I'd ask her to load the bedding in the washing machine for me before she leaves....

daisychain01 · 21/05/2016 08:23

I'd be knocking on the bedroom door and asking your friend to explained herself. Why should you tiptoe round in your own home

my dh was too shocked/surprised in the moment....

So a random appears in your house and your DH just stands there with a gaping mouth. Gee, wonder if you had a burglar, would he run and hide under the bed !

LyndaNotLinda · 21/05/2016 08:23

That was me, Obvious. And no, I wouldn't. Reveal's friend has just demonstrated that she has very little respect for her or her home.

dowhatnow · 21/05/2016 08:26

Please make sure you see him before 9am or it will all be a big anticlimax. Is he hot?
I'd be less annoyed if it is a colleague/friend rather than a random, but then I'd be annoyed she didn't go back to his... Confused

Kimononono · 21/05/2016 08:26

Oooh not for me. I would have sent a text turfing him out.

TheWindInThePillows · 21/05/2016 08:26

Sounds like she thinks it's like a student house and you'd be pleased for her! It is inconsiderate and inappropriate though, I guess she was drunk and her judgement off

Ledkr · 21/05/2016 08:26

My friend did this once. I was bloody furious but she was getting over a very painful breakup so I didn't have the heart to be cross with her to her face.
She never mentioned it the next day (he had obv gone really early) but I think she felt really uncomfortable and kind of knew I knew iyswim?
Ive done daft things when I'm drunk too.

RaeSkywalker · 21/05/2016 08:27

I would also ask her to strip the bed and put the sheets in the washing machine for you.

Don't invite her back again.

Ringadingdingdong22 · 21/05/2016 08:28

It's not ideal, but I don't think it's as awful as some are making out. We've all done stupid things when pissed. She's probably feeling a bit embarrassed this morning and wishing he'd jog on. It's your house, just carry on as normal. Not worth falling out over IMO.

ChopsticksandChilliCrab · 21/05/2016 08:28

Wouldn't you have washed the sheets after she left anyway? Anyway getting back to the point- if you have to leave for the shopping trip you will have to get DH to sit and watch pointedly while strange man legs it or comes to get tea and/or breakfast. I wonder if he has any idea he is not in the friend's house but in another couple's.

I would say whether you and your friend can bounce back from this depends on how close a friendship it was to start with, how nice the OM is to you both and how apologetic the friend is this morning.

confusedandemployed · 21/05/2016 08:31

I read this initially from my own POV - 43, young DD.

15 years ago and childless I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Hagrid3112 · 21/05/2016 08:34

YADNBU. It's so rude to invite someone back to not-your house. When I was younger, I wouldn't even bring random hook ups home to my mum's without checking first. Nobody wants strangers wandering round their house in the middle of the night or at breakfast.
I know someone who got robbed by bringing a guy home, and there were 3 very young children in the house at the time. Really opened my eyes to how risky it can be.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/05/2016 08:35

Definitely make her wash the sheets. Make lots of "ewww" noises about how inappropriate it is to get cum on someone else's bed!

Snigger a lot.

magicstar1 · 21/05/2016 08:36

I got home once to find my friend had allowed a random couple to come home and shag on our couch. I walked in on them both naked, talking about going upstairs as the bed would be better - my bed! I threw them out immediately and told my housemate never to do that again.

daisychain01 · 21/05/2016 08:38

So for all the OP knows, the random could go to the loo then decide to nip down, nick money left on the table, a valued item, who knows what.

It's an unknown, untrusted person in her home, so imo it's really poor form and a security risk.

Lightbulbon · 21/05/2016 08:40

Friends don't police each other's sexuality.

There are no DCs in the house.

You are coming across as a 'smug married'.

Lweji · 21/05/2016 08:42

It's not about who she shags. It's about bringing a stranger to a friend's house to sleep there.

SuperFlyHigh · 21/05/2016 08:44

Ok it's really bad form and a security risk but hardly the heinous crime some of you are making out!

As another poster said she may not have wanted him to come back and wanted to get rid.... Also we all do stupid stuff when drunk.

Laugh it off, mention maybe in passing that it'd be nice if she let you know someone was staying over but even then I wouldn't say that. She's probably mortified at what she's done.

NotYoda · 21/05/2016 08:44

Agree with Lweji

LunaLoveg00d · 21/05/2016 08:45

That is not just cheeky, it's the height of bad manners. And not something a "friend" would do.

Lweji · 21/05/2016 08:45

Being drunk is no excuse.
Would she still be excused if she had trashed the OP's house while drunk?

expatinscotland · 21/05/2016 08:45

I'd send her a text to get him out NOW, strip the bed, put the sheets in the wash and clear the fuck out.

SuperFlyHigh · 21/05/2016 08:46

daisy that's highly unlikely to happen! I've been to and had one night stands a few times in my time so flame me I don't care! and no one has nicked or thought to nick valuables, money etc. it's a sort of unwritten rule you don't do it. And hopefully OPs friend would have judged the man enough so he's probably an office worker and of sound character and not Fred West/Charles Manson Grin

apple1992 · 21/05/2016 08:47

I would not be happy, that would make me feel very uncomfortable!

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