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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To withdraw an invitation to a houseguest?

207 replies

GuinevereBeck · 20/05/2016 15:23

About six weeks ago, my cousin contacted me telling me that his daughter was wanting to come to London in the summer (they’re Australian, his daughter is currently studying in Italy). He was asking did I know of any cheap accommodation/jobs that she could do? I could kind of guess where this was heading, but said I would ask among friends, and have a think about job opportunities. Sure enough, a few weeks later he asked would it be possible for her to stay with me when she first arrived while she sorted herself out. She’s meant to be due on the 21st. I’m not crazy about the idea of a barely-known 21-year-old staying in my house, but I said that would be absolutely fine for a little while (we have someone due to stay in June anyway), and she should get in touch with me. To be honest, I’m a little annoyed that this has all come through her dad - if she was sixteen I could understand it, but she’s 21 and living halfway round the world!

Eventually, last week I get an email from the girl herself (let’s call her Lucy). Lucy writes a nice email thanking me for the offer, how grateful she is, looking forward to seeing me, etc etc. Very nice, I think, and write her a kind email back telling her a bit about our area (in zone 6 so not exactly central!) and how we’d pick her up from the station if she lets me know when she’s arriving. Since then, I’ve heard nothing. I emailed her yesterday briefly asking her to confirm if she’s even coming on the 21st, and roughly what time. Still not heard anything. I’m getting rather pissed off now – I’m a bit uncomfortable about having an unknown relative to stay anyway as I like my own space, but the whole manner it’s been organised (i.e. through her dad rather than her) has not helped at all.

I told DH this morning that if I hadn’t heard from her by lunchtime I’d tell her it was all off. He thought that was really mean, saying she was just a kid, but she’s 21 and studying abroad!! If you want to stay with someone for free, I would have though telling them the basics, i.e. when you plan to arrive, was pretty standard! I’ve had to rearrange plans because I don’t know if/when to expect her. WIBU to say she’s had her chance, and if she can’t be bothered to get in touch with her plans she can’t be that interested in staying? (Disclaimer – I did meet her when she was 14 and found her a bit vapid and annoying – she’s fond of duck face poses on Instagram, and is very invested in her appearance (to be fair, she is stunning and has done some modelling). I think I am almost intimidated by the thought of having her stay, but I do feel like I’ve been treated a bit rudely.) Or am I just out of touch with the younger generation and expecting too much? I’m 37 and DH and I have no DC.

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 22/05/2016 21:58

That's worked out pretty well actually Smile She's got a week of accommodation sorted, which gives her time to organise something from the 29th onwards. Done and dusted!

JerryFerry · 22/05/2016 22:15

Perfect result! You don't have to have anything to do with her, and she can rest easy in the knowledge she can hang out with her friends - which is no doubt what she wants to do.

LyndaNotLinda · 22/05/2016 22:19

Result! Perhaps you could meet her for dinner one evening or something

ReginaBlitz · 22/05/2016 22:29

Let's not beat around the hairy bush... You are ecstatic, you won't have your oh perving on a beauty for a week which was the real issue here.

OTheHugeManatee · 22/05/2016 22:32

Result Grin

bakeoffcake · 22/05/2016 23:00

Glad she's ok and you've got out of it!

GuinevereBeck · 23/05/2016 11:19

Yes, I have no doubt it's worked out best for both of us Grin.

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