'We're' pregnant

[RainbowsAndUnicorns5]

Obviously I'm an awful person aibu to bristle whenever someone says this?

Its disgusting that men want equality. In what way is pretending to have a uterus equality?

Yup. Agree completely. Such a wanky expression

I was raised to associate women with being soft, needy and defenceless. See how shit that is?

That does sound shit.

I was not raised to associate weakness with either sex.

A pause can be pregnant, and that doesn't even have a body.

But a pause's husband can't claim to be pregnant too!

When the man is at work, or out without his partner, would he really say, "I'm pregnant"?

Really?

I would think he was delusional.

"Its disgusting that men want equality."

If men had ever wanted equality we would have had it a long, long time ago urbanfox.

YANBU

I've heard it through third parties. I automatically think, no, you're not pregnant but your gf/partner/wife is
I am just as happy for my male friends who are fathers-to-be as I am for my female friends. Though no friend of mine would say such things

I find the saying a bit cringeworthy but I guess if we look a bit deeper it does involve the man in an event that traditionally and biologically (for the most part) excludes him. I mean it must be awful being the one whose involvement essentially stops at orgasm until birth.

"That does sound shit.

I was not raised to associate weakness with either sex."

Not sure if you are wilfully ignoring my point or my wording didn't help. Quite simply it is wrong to assign behaviours or characteristics to either gender on the basis of what you think is right because those are the values you have received. You could have said originally "I was raised to associate people with strength and self sufficiency."

You can contort all you want - but the comment was (even if not intentionally) by its very nature sexist.

I mean it must be awful being the one whose involvement essentially stops at orgasm until birth.

Sounds excellent to me!

I think it sounds quite appealing too!

I think it's a very American thing to say, I've heard a handful of family members and friends back in the States say it, but never anyone over here in the UK.

By experience I have found that the "we're pregnant" type couples, are usually the ones who go on to host gender reveal parties, and other kinds of needless pre-baby nonsense. That's a whole new topic though.

By experience I have found that the "we're pregnant" type couples, are usually the ones who go on to host gender reveal parties, and other kinds of needless pre-baby nonsense

^^ This.

Almost afraid to ask - what's a gender reveal party?

When people have a nauseating get together and cut the cake while everyone watches with bated breath to see if the middle is pink or blue

Agree that it's a wanky expression. If a man said it to me I wouldn't be able to keep my gob shut and say, "you mean your wife/gf/whoever is pregnant?"

My friend recently said to me that someone she knows is pregnant again and hoping for a natural birth as first time was a planned c-section so she "has never actually given birth". Needless to say I couldn't keep my gob shut then either

And now I wish I didn't know FutureGadgetsLab

My DH has actually snapped at a man saying that, I think when you're the spouse of a recurrent miscarrier (and one with complext related health issues and one partial molar) it puts it down how very, very silly, hollow and empty those words are. He explained the difference between "We are having a baby" and "we are pregnant" quite firmly and how he feels it's insulting to the woman and the huge physical and emotional undertaking that she is doing partially for her spouse as well as herself.

They 100% do not mean 'I am a helpful and supportive husband' so why use them to mean that?

Woman is pregnant, put her feet up and is being pampered for a few months whilst man is running around, working and taking care of everything and worrying about the future and how to take care of their unborn child.

Really? For most women, getting pregnant means carrying on working as normal whilst coping with the nausea, sickness, aching back etc before knocking off and then running around like a blue-arsed fly sorting out baby stuff, then going through labour and birth and giving up sleeping through the night for anything between 6 weeks and several years whilst also holding down that job. In my case, I worked till a month before birth for DC1 and two weeks before birth for 2 and 3. I seem to have missed out on the pampering somehow, and I certainly contributed my fair share to looking after our children both financially and otherwise.

Fortunately in amongst all that my DH never claimed to be pregnant.

Woman is pregnant, put her feet up and is being pampered for a few months whilst man is running around, working and taking care of everything and worrying about the future and how to take care of their unborn child.

That is utterly insulting. Disgustingly so.
Most women work (and worry about supporting their unborn child), feel exhausted, have to change their diet, many have health problems.
Never mind the worry of supporting the child, the mother has the worry of keeping the fetus alive (15-20% end in miscarriage, 2% in stillbirth and if you're high risk it's 9 months of psychological hell).
Plus any more physically complex issues e.g. diabetes, spd, pre-eclampsia ... to milder things like swollen limbs, restless leg etc.

The man has to go to fucking work. Cry me a river.

You could have said originally "I was raised to associate people with strength and self sufficiency."

Nope, I could have said that I was raised to associate adults with strength and self sufficiency.

I was comparing men not with women, but with boys.

I was raised to believe that grown ups would not try to be whiny and attention seeking.

Also that men could be grown ups.

There is something so ridiculously childish about wanting to be included in everything.

It reminds me of the sort of thing I have to do with my kids

"Yes, we have made the dinner/tidied the house/done the shopping." Because proximity means you are taking part if you are 3.

Or if you never grew up into a man and we are talking about your wife's pregnancy.

Woman is pregnant, put her feet up and is being pampered for a few months whilst man is running around, working and taking care of everything and worrying about the future and how to take care of their unborn child

Huh ?

I don't know how to include a quote, but the mum who goes on about women putting their feet up. Is this person on the same planet as the rest of us. The only time I had my feet up was in stirrups!

This is very annoying, and if you look at what it means it's indicative of something that happens a lot. Society is bribing men to take a role in parenthood - which historically they were allowed to pretty much ignore - by pretending that their role is a lot more central and glamorous than it is.

this happens with everything. cookies cookies cookies everywhere for men who make any half-arsed gesture towards giving a shit - cookies in the form of a massive collective pretence that they're doing a lot more than they are

Just this. Again and again and again on every page of this thread.

Men need to do right by their partner. That makes them a dad - but until medical science can make them pregnant, they will be the dad and their biological role will be different.

Society is so used to men being the status quo with women trying hard to attain equality to them, some people cannot handle that motherhood is well ... matriarchial. Clues in the name, fellas.

"I was comparing men not with women, but with boys."

Well if that is the case I was wrong and apologise wholeheartedly. As is often the case with words on a screen I didn't translate your meaning properly. My mistake. See so much unchallenged sexism on here, but if that is what you meant, this wasn't and I completely mis-understood.