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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder if it's too late to stop my neighbours walking through my garden

260 replies

whydidhesaythat · 16/05/2016 16:19

We live in a row of houses that backs on to lovely moorland and the best thing about my house is that our garden has a gate on to the moor. most of the other houses do too but one house doesn't.

There's one small private spot, on a bench, inside a sort of half shed, where no-one can see you I like to potter in the garden

The previous owner of the house-that-doesn't became a dear friend of ours over the years and after we'd known each other about 8 years I told her she shouldn't keep walking round to the end of the road to get on the moor but should just treat our garden as the route.

So, a very pleasant new set of neighbours have moved in and DH, in a fit of welcoming enthusiasm, apparently said "oh feel free to go through our garden" to this complete stranger.

Consequently, I am finding that the family (mum and two girls, mum with friend, au pair with girls) just routinely walk back and forth through my garden.

Yesterday I wanted to go and garden but saw them setting off (after spotting acomplete stranger - the mum's friend, having a good look round) so locked the back gate whilst I was in the garden so there wouldn't be too much of shock when the gate opened (I know it's not a shock shock but some people will understand).

The garden was somewhere I felt safe. Having a family go through it is too much. But what the heck do I do? Dh says he is sorry and will tell them it was a mistake but that will just make me sound like a bitch.

DH of course never uses the garden and has no idea what it is to potter quietly in your safe place.

To explain it, it's not like having someone coming through your bedroom, but it is like someone walking through your hall.

The neighbour is going to think I'm a right cow if I say anything isn't she? Shall I just start accidentally locking it?

what do I do?

OP posts:
janex1 · 18/05/2016 16:38

Hi- it is really important that you tell them now- we have a similar problem with our garden so I understand. Best to say something sooner rather than later as they won't get it if you leave it too long. Easier said than done but definitely worth it!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/05/2016 16:42

Janex - it's also really important you rtft Wink

barbarossa · 18/05/2016 18:06

Tell them to sod off.
It's your house - your right of way - your property.
You don't need these people.
Explain about your privacy and lock your gate.
You may have to live next to these people - you don't have to have them trampling all over YOUR bit of the planet.

TheHiphopopotamus · 18/05/2016 18:20

Yeah, OP, why don't you just lock the gate?!! Don't you know they'll be entitled to claim right of way?!!

Hmm

Seriously, people, RTFT!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/05/2016 18:53

Just lock the gate Wink

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/05/2016 18:53

Even though it's all sorted amicably. Go round and tell them to fuck off and then lock the gate Grin

bloodyteenagers · 18/05/2016 19:21

I always wonder if people do this in real life.
Walk into a room, half listen to a conversation. Walk out. Later that day walk back in without finding out what happened since and start offering their advice from the earlier conversation.

If not. They why the fuck is it becoming the norm on chat boards.

SquirrelChaser · 18/05/2016 19:32

Actually you do not acquire prescriptive rights simply by use of something for a long time. You need to have used it without the permission of the rightful owner. So if they had been using the garden for 20 years without having sought any permission they might acquire rights. Bit, having given permission, you have the right to withdraw that.

whydidhesaythat · 18/05/2016 19:53

The whole thing was entirely chief flappy gob ( as I now think of my husband)'s fault. So it's all good and my gate shall remain unlocked

OP posts:
dudsville · 18/05/2016 20:13

A Star for you OP! I just came on to see how you got on. I'm glad you were able to be honest just because lies get complicated and the truth wasn't so bad really, and your text wording was really great!

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