To think it's not on to shout abuse out the window at people!?

[Sprinklesontop]

I was walking into town yesterday when a white van drove past me and a man shouted fatty out the window at me

I'm absolutely mortified and so glad that I was on my own I would have died if there was anyone with me!

I am rather fat at the moment, I had twins less than a year ago and I'm struggling to find time to exercise but surely even if I was 25 stone or something it doesn't give someone the right to embarrass me like that.

Don't know why I'm posting really but I can't tell anyone in real life and it's really bothering me.

I once got in a blackcab and the taxi driver exclaimed in a very shocked manner at me. I froze and asked what's up? He just went "Fuck me you're massive!" I was 8 months pregnant with ds. I wasn't sure whether he meant me being fat or pregnant (not that I'm saying either scenario is right). I just sat there shocked. He then confirmed it when he started asking how I could let it happen and wasn't I ashamed?! I told him I had no cash and would need to stop at an ATM just inside my local Sainsburys. I went in the shop used the machine and slipped out the other door and walked the rest of the way home. I wonder how long he waited there for his £19.50 fare? :o I'm surprised I wasn't tracked down. I told every fucker I knew about it.

I just had to explain this thread to ds(9) who was telling me the great 'game' he was playing with his dad yesterday shouting at random people out of the car.. We aren't together and I'm so sad / angry that he uses his time with ds to teach him to be that way :( Just hope that ds understands what I've said to him. And I'm very very sorry to whoever they may have upset.

It's not his fault Cold. He's just following the lead of an adult who is supposed to love and protect him. Can you confront your ex and tell him how disgusting his behaviour is and not to bring his child down?

I'm not good at confrontation with him, but having read this thread I think it's given me the kick to raise it with him. He probably won't 'get' it or will try and excuse it though.

If you get the chance to reply a variation on one of Winston Churchill's would be, 'I can lose weight, but you will always be ugly, stupid,' or whatever you think appropriate.

A group of men on Facebook were talking about this - a lot of confessions of being shouty dickheads in the past. They put it down to fear - fear of being bullied by their workmates and worse still, being thought of as a 'poof'. It was so important to be one of the lads. For what it's worth, they were mortified by their past behavior and vowed they'd always confront any mates who groped or made rude comments to women. That's why I think it's worth hollering back - they might not show it but it will shame some of them.

This idiot was not concentrating on driving. He will probably kill himself fairly soon.

This is truly awful. And I hope would be a criminal offence in law but something tells me that people who abuse like this are very difficult to catch. In terms of how it makes you feel - no-one can take away the horribleness of it. But I guess you have to try and remember that he doesn't know you from Adam - it feels so personal but actually its more about him than it is about you. Ok so you are overweight and he touched on a nerve. If you lost weight - same or different idiotic lout would just find something else to pick on. He doesn't know all the amazing wonderful things about you that have zero to do with what size race or gender you are. I think as women we need to get tougher on the inside and not let this type of shit fester in us as that makes these people win. Don't let him have your headspace anymore. He doesn't deserve to be in it. I can understand the lady who actually started kicking the shit out of the car, thats anger getting you to stand up for yourself. The only issue is that they could have got out of the car and attacked you. I remember walking along in my village (a usually very safe and lovely place) when I was 6 months pregnant and a gang of about 6 youths making sexually lewd comments at me and following me up the road until I managed to get in my car. I was in disbelief that people could be so vile to a vulnerable pregnant woman.
Sometimes it is just impossible to try and rationalise humanity.

It's ironic that journalists will trawl mumsnet for stories like the wedding cheque one which went global last week. However they won't cover issues like this one to raise awareness of the verbal/physical abuse people suffer on a daily basis. I suppose being yelled at for being fat /black/white/female isn't interesting enough for the media to cover.

workslike I get that you're trying to help but your comment

I think as women we need to get tougher on the inside and not let this type of shit fester in us as that makes these people win

is actually victim blaming. Women do not need to do anything. The tossers that do this need to change.

I once had a comment made to me by a small group of youths. One really lary character ringleader shouted "look at the camel toe on that" and pointed to my nether region.

I'm almost ashamed to say I calmly pointed and said 'euuuu look at the Pizza face on that'

His mates laughed hysterically

I felt much better

Im old enough to know better by about 30 years but it felt good

Hmm..... sun is out, trees are in leaf, flowers are blooming and life becomes a spectator sport . I run 3 or 4 times a week and I can run happily along the canal or country lanes and pass loads of walkers/cyclist/dog walkers without a squeak apart from a 'good morning' or 'nice day' - as soon as I go through town apparently some people think I need 'encouragement' . Funny that ...

Very depressing reading. There IS something we can do, as a couple of other posters have said, we can teach our sons and daughters how completely wrong and unacceptable this behaviour is. We need to put it as high up the priority list as anything else we consider to be the essentials we teach our children.
It is a form of deep disrespect and if we teach our children about respect for others and for themselves we might be able to prevent them from becoming those adults who abuse total strangers for no reason.

Absolutely Cunk. 👍🏼 I can't control how I feel about being bullied. Sure, I can lie and pretend I don't care when all I want to do is lock myself away from the world and curl up and quietly die inside. Fuck that. Its much better and preferable if those with nothing nice to say just shut the fuck up.

Sorry Sprinkles people really are cunts. Someone threw a sandwich out a car window at me once and have had verbal abuse as well in the form of cat calling and random other shit. It's horrible and whilst it's true that these people are complete Neanderthals, sometimes it's really hard to console yourself with this in the immediate aftermath

Put Drive by Shouting into YouTube and these pricks come in the hundreds. They film themselves doing it. Feel free to pile onto their comments section. I'll bet they react like victims of bullying....

The Cunk /OP

I am really sorry if what I articulated has come across like that. Its not what I intended at all. I was trying to offer a way of coping as it was hard to read such a painful post. No-one can take away from what has already happened or control feelings. I never meant that. Sounds like I have just made the OP feel even worse so I will just go quietly away now and die in my own corner.

I've just had a bottle of orange juice thrown at me as I walked along with the dog! Happily it whizzed by my head - it was full (the bottle -not my head) and the only thing I could tell you was white pick up, 3 men - happened so quickly. Bastards.