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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To offer this for tea...

190 replies

roleypoley · 10/05/2016 20:39

Spinach and ricotta cannelloni (from a packet) with salad. DP is furious. Says when he asked earlier what was for tea I should have said 'nothing'. There is also fish in the freezer but that takes half an hour so apparently is unacceptable at 8pm. I've had enough of his mood and gone upstairs with my half packet of spinach and ricotta cannelloni & he's ordered a take away!

OP posts:
TheUnsullied · 11/05/2016 18:17

Nobody is condoning how the DP reacted. They're commenting on whether he had reason to be irritated at all. People eating evening meals above 250 calories is not the cause of the obesity crisis. It's absurd to suggest so.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/05/2016 18:19

goddess you really think it's outrageous to want to eat more than 200 calories for dinner?

FuzzyWizard · 11/05/2016 18:20

DP is a pretty big eater and he'd have half a packet with some olive oil or butter . He'd want a bit of garlic bread on the side too though and would grate a bit of Parmesan on top. There's no need for your DP to be such an arse about the whole thing. If DP came home ravenous and I suggested something that wasn't enough food he'd suggest a takeaway instead or pop in a bit of garlic bread or some chips/onion rings/chicken goujons or whatever else was in the freezer. I don't see why your DP couldn't have done similar.

Sallystyle · 11/05/2016 19:08

Jesus, no wonder there is an obesity crisis. That ravioli is fine as a light tea, plain with a bit of olive oil and a big salad. Especially in hot weather like today.

Hmm

I am not obese, and I only eat one meal a day so that wouldn't be enough for me at all. I don't think wanting more than 200 calories for tea is the reason for the obesity crisis, do you?

It is also cold today, heating is on.

Runningupthathill82 · 11/05/2016 19:21

I know this sounds a bit "MN chicken" but we share one of those packets of tortellini between three of us quite regularly, as a quick dinner if we're in a rush. With either a homemade sauce, or a bit of pesto stirred through it.

When I say three of us, that's me, DH and DS (3). I'm now really embarrassed by how many people are saying its not a proper meal.

1/3 of a pack honestly is enough for me. DH has a bit more, DS a bit less. No garlic bread etc. We do try and be frugal with food though, as we're broke.

Tonight's dinner is homemade chicken soup. I'm wondering if most people would also find that appalling as a meal? I've never really considered that we might eat smaller than average portions til this thread!

sirfredfredgeorge · 11/05/2016 20:31

Runnginupthathill If you're a sedentary then you probably need at least 3000 calories a day between you, that would be 600 of them - where are you getting the rest? Most people normally have double that amount of calories at dinner, and hopefully you're not sedentary and actually get some exercise in.

So where are you getting the rest of your calories in a day?

If you're broke going for a plain pasta, some veg and some cheese or eggs with it will be better value for money for your calories.

Runningupthathill82 · 11/05/2016 20:43

Sirfred - We're certainly not sedentary - DH and I are both semi-serious runners. He does 50+ miles a week, I do a bit less.
And yes, obviously cooking pasta and veg is better than ready made crap. We cook from scratch the majority of the time - lots of fresh veg, fish, sometimes meat, omelettes/baked potatoes/egg on toast for dinner if it's a particularly tight week. But yes, we do sometimes eat ready made pasta. DS loves it, and it's a dish so easy to make I can do it while carrying my Velcro baby.

I was just saying that one pack of tortellini between three of us is our "normal" and I'm surprised it's viewed as being so paltry! Nothing wrong with others eating more, obviously. Horses for courses and all that.

Ambroxide · 11/05/2016 20:59

DD (age 9) and I often share a pack of pasta like that. We eat about half each with maybe a few bits over and it's fine. I have a salad with mine and she has carrot/cucumber sticks and we have butter and parmesan and maybe some fresh herbs on top. I'm not particularly sedentary or active, I'm neither fat nor skinny, pretty much somewhere in the average range in most ways! We just don't eat big meals all in one go (DD and me both grazers by inclination).

GogoGobo · 11/05/2016 21:01

Yabu. Do supper or don't do supper but don't serve a half hearted attempt at dinner because it's pretty lazy - especially as he asked if you had it sorted and you said "yes".

notatschool · 11/05/2016 21:16

We used to have this a lot when we were first married (early twenties). Haven't bought it for yonks but definitely wouldn't mind someone cooking it for my dinner. Sounds like your H was being v entitled and ungrateful.

My H is a bit fussy, but never rude with it - will just make himself something else. I try not to cook too much what he doesn't like - I would definitely be eating more veggie food if it was just me.

BillSykesDog · 11/05/2016 21:17

Why the fuck should OP be expected to whip up a big hefty dinner for a man who was actually doing the shopping at the time he phoned?

Because she told him not to buy anything because she had it covered. It's not like he rang her from the supermarket and told her he was buying beer and whiskey and to put on her little ladyboots and tootle of to get him some man food. He was totally prepared to sort his own dinner but the OP told him not to because it was sorted.

mammmamia · 11/05/2016 21:30

Not read whole thread but I'd be cross as well. I work long hours and often work in the evenings and if my DH told me he'd sorted dinner and it turned out it wasn't enough / a bit crap I wouldn't be happy.
Does the OP work as well?

Original poster
roleypoley · 11/05/2016 22:05

Hang on he didn't call me from the shop to say there are no aubergines, can you sort dinner... Don't know where that's come from. We were in the supermarket together the day before and he bought stuff for veg curry minus aubergines and I said I'd add them on to online shop and he could do it later in the week instead of that day. Ravioli gate was day after this, day of cancelled veg curry and day before online shop. I said there's stuff for tea because we had some food in but evidently not wonderful food. I don't work, he works from home. I was putting child to bed, feeding baby prior to argument, he was helping. So well aware that I was not preparing some gourmet feast, it's not like it was a terrible shock when he came home from a long day at the office.

OP posts:
GogoGobo · 12/05/2016 06:52

in light of that info OP it all sounds a bit petty and a bit dull!

namelessposter · 12/05/2016 07:03

Half a pack of ravioli with no sauce is a rather 'light' supper, but his not fancying it is not.your.fucking.problem. You offered to cook a meal. He didn't like it. Oh well, all the more for you, and he can sort himself out. You are not a short-order cook.

NicknameUsed · 12/05/2016 07:21

I wouldn't class half a pack of ravioli as a light supper. Without sauce it is dry and unappetising, but it is very filling - a 300gm pack of filled pasta will feed three of us, along with some salad. However, there are some people with huge appetites on here. (And I'm no lightweight myself)

TheUnsullied · 12/05/2016 07:32

Huge appetites? Wanting your evening meal to be more than 250kcal doesn't translate to having a huge appetite.

herecomethepotatoes · 12/05/2016 07:37

Is he a vegetarian?

Vegetable curry?

Spinach and ricotta ravioli?

Neither sound like proper meals to me.

HermioneJeanGranger · 12/05/2016 08:36

Wanting more than 200 calories for your evening meal isn't exactly having a huge appetite! Come on, now. That's a tiny portion.

2rebecca · 12/05/2016 09:11

We'll often have ravioli tossed in butter with parmesan on top and a side salad. The salad tends to be large though.

ButtonsAndBows · 12/05/2016 09:27

Tbh my husband wouldn't be happy either and nor would I if I worked, was still working that evening and my spouse was a stay at home parent. Keep more meal items ready - our go to meals at short notice is spicey beans on toast or tacos , both take like 5-10 mins.

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 12/05/2016 09:38

I was wondering how long it would take someone to come along and declare a meal without a slab of cow to be not a proper meal.

madein1995 · 12/05/2016 10:23

I personally wouldn't find it filling - a chicken breast or a tomato sauce made with vegetables and it might be different but plain filled pasta and salad I wouldn't call enough, id probably be hungry after. In my view it's something you have to have somethinge else with, and that something else should be filling not salad. so I don't blame your DH for being a bit annoyed/having a stop - if someone made me that for my main meal and I'd had a hard days work I'd probably have a go. Then probably apologise in a few hours time. A takeaway may well be more filling. Perhaps In future, whoever is sorting tea could let the other know what it is, or even if they fancy it? There's no point in making a meal for eg that someone doesn't fancy and won't enjoy, unless that is the only meal in the house. makes everyone happy and for a nice environment. Give choices too -'im not cooking much tonight so it's pasta and a bit of salad, or there's a pizza in the fridge I could heat up for us.' not much more effort and would possibly stop arguments. And this isn't an anti feminist thing, it's a worker thing - I cnt imagine anyone after a hard days work being happy at given such a light meal.

2rebecca · 12/05/2016 10:36

I don't think of pasta as a light meal. We tend to cook about 4oz dry pasta per person though. Tonight i'm baking ciabatta to go with it but often we don't have bread with pasta. The salad tends to contain goats cheese or similar and pine nuts/ rocket cherry tomatoes. Some people just seem to eat a lot. I'd find pasta more filling than beans on toast spicy or not..

Yukduck · 12/05/2016 10:47

Runningupthathill chicken soup for supper sounds like food of the gods to me! Home made soups are my favourite (and cheap and easy to make in my soupmaker) and I would not say no to that for dinner. I would need to add a bit of crusty bread and a small bit of cheese though.

OP, Your pasta dish would be totally acceptable in our house as we would just ramp up the pud or cheese and biscuits, or as one poster said a bowl of cereals later.