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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To offer this for tea...

190 replies

roleypoley · 10/05/2016 20:39

Spinach and ricotta cannelloni (from a packet) with salad. DP is furious. Says when he asked earlier what was for tea I should have said 'nothing'. There is also fish in the freezer but that takes half an hour so apparently is unacceptable at 8pm. I've had enough of his mood and gone upstairs with my half packet of spinach and ricotta cannelloni & he's ordered a take away!

OP posts:
sirfredfredgeorge · 11/05/2016 11:54

So he asked "do you have tea organised?" you said "yes", but said tea was a packet of ravioli without anything else that totalled 250 odd calories in a serving. If so, yes, you were very unreasonable to say you had tea organised when it you didn't, you at most had a snack, and even that was barely organised, it was just in the fridge. If you'd said "no, but I'm having some pasta and cheerios", then YWNBU.

BiddyPop · 11/05/2016 11:58

I HAD been going to ask if it was the fact it was a veggie meal. Then I saw his plans were for a veggie curry - so it wasn't the lack of meat. (DH can cook, has kinda got out of the habit in the past few years, but has a thing about needing meat in each meal - bacon lardons are often enough to do the trick, and he will have a few completely veggie meals - but maete is maete and men need to eat maete).

He sounds charming. I hope it was an online delivery shop that was missing the vital aubergine, and not that he was actually physically in the shop himself when he absolved dinner duty to you and didn't bring home something suitable to allow you prepare the necessary feast?!

NewNameNotTheSame · 11/05/2016 11:59

I'm not going to lie, if I had been hard at work all day and then was presented with half a pack of dry, pretty tasteless ravioli and salad I'd probably see my arse too (inwardly). But then I'd probably just say " Thanks for cooking but I'm not really in the mood for this, if there's nothing else I'll sort myself out" and not kick off like an ungrateful twat.

maybebabybee · 11/05/2016 12:00

To be fair I would have been starving after that. Half a packet of tortellini is never enough for me either but I am a greedy sod.

whois · 11/05/2016 12:11

How many calories is in half a pack of it? If it's less than 600 it is a bit of a small dinner.

whois · 11/05/2016 12:12

250 calories??? That is NOT dinner!!!

sirfredfredgeorge · 11/05/2016 12:13

whois the entire pack is less than 600

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 11/05/2016 12:22

Some people seem to be missing this small detail while telling "roley" how much she is failing in her wifely duties:

He was actually going to cook tonight but waitrose had ran out of aubergine so he couldn't do the vegetable curry he had planned

I reckon he'd decided he fancied a takeaway in the first place.

Squirrelsmum · 11/05/2016 12:33

His behaviour is that of a sulking brat, tell him he needs some lessons off Darryl ...
vimeo.com/119334260

andintothefire · 11/05/2016 13:12

I may be missing something, but I don't quite understand why you told him there was something in for dinner when you didn't really have anything (and IMHO half a packet of that with no sauce is not enough for a proper dinner). Isn't the real issue that you should just have told him to pick something up on his way home? Then he wouldn't have arrived hungry at 8pm with not enough for a proper meal.

If I were your husband I would be a bit annoyed that I had missed the opportunity to buy something sufficiently substantial for dinner because I had been led to believe there was already something in at home.

Still a childish reaction from him though!

TheUnsullied · 11/05/2016 13:26

Well, you didn't actually have tea sorted by the sounds of it...175g of pasta without any sauce coming in at about 250 calories is really quite paltry. If that was what I had in, I'd be ordering a takeaway.

That said, any reaction beyond irritation is massively unreasonable. As it was his night to cook, you've done no worse than he has. Define 'furious'...what's he actually doung/saying?

TheUnsullied · 11/05/2016 13:28

Doung? Hmm doing

Gubbins · 11/05/2016 13:29

Husband and I often share one of those packs, with no salad but some homemade tomato sauce. It's a perfectly good and filling meal. Your husband is an ungrateful bastard.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/05/2016 13:58

I can see that this pack of raviolli is going to become the new MN chicken - by the time we get to the next page it'll be enough to feed a family of 4 for 3 meals with enough scraps to make soup Hmm

MewlingQuim · 11/05/2016 14:18

If he was in waitrose looking for aubergines surely he could have picked up some other food and cooked it himself

DH and I would eat a pack of that ravioli each but we both do a fair amount of sport. A pack between two with a decent amount of salad would be fine but we would probably do pudding too.

I think he wanted takeaway regardless of what food was in the house. In which case why didn't he just say so?

TheUnsullied · 11/05/2016 14:42

Just realised I misread the package size...it's 250g not 350g! So a portion is apparently 125g, not 175g. That's not a meal. I'm sorry but it really isn't. It's a little over 8 flat tablespoons of food.

I don't think these 'serves 2' pasta packets are supposed to be served as a meal in itself. I'm pretty sure it should be a pasta, sauce, cheese, vegetable sides and garlic bread affair.

diddl · 11/05/2016 14:52

Well I think he may have a point tbh although that doesn't excuse his mood!

It depends how it all came about.

If he was at the supermarket & could have picked stuff up for a different meal or to make what you had into a decent meal then I can see why he'd be disappointed.

FrenchJunebug · 11/05/2016 14:57

That's a lovely tea. What time shall we make it to yours?

BillSykesDog · 11/05/2016 15:32

125g of pasta? As dinner? Sorry, this is one of those threads where if a woman posted that her DH had told her that he had tea sorted so she didn't need to bother getting anything even though she was in the supermarket anyway then offered her 125g of pasta...well at best he'd be called an incompetent useless arse, at worst there would be dark warnings of financial abuse and control.

125g of pasta is not a meal. I'd be fucked off with that when I could have already sorted myself a proper meal if the person concerned had actually been anywhere near realistic.

PirateFairy45 · 11/05/2016 16:42

Tell him to make his own tea and shut the fuck up. Cheeky sod!

limon · 11/05/2016 16:55

I'd say "make your own fucking tea then" and I'd go out for fish and chips. Arrogant tosser. Why can't he make his own?

harshbuttrue1980 · 11/05/2016 17:05

What are the circumstances though?? If you are both working, then he is being unreasonable. If you stay at home while he works, then I think he is reasonable to be annoyed.

Sallystyle · 11/05/2016 17:44

I would be disappointed if DH offered that for tea but I would thank him, decline and make my own.

Because I'm not a rude arsehole.

goddessoftheharvest · 11/05/2016 18:01

Jesus, no wonder there is an obesity crisis. That ravioli is fine as a light tea, plain with a bit of olive oil and a big salad. Especially in hot weather like today.

Why the fuck should OP be expected to whip up a big hefty dinner for a man who was actually doing the shopping at the time he phoned?

And was then apparently unable to wait half an hour for the other option of fish?

In fact, what was OP meant to do? If he won't wait half an hour for the fish, he isn't going to be able to wait half an hour for bangers and mash, is he?

In fact, how long is that takeaway going to be? He just wanted it, didn't he?

I get grumpy when I'm hungry, but as I am an adult woman and not a toddler, I choose not to inflict that unpleasant attitude on other people

Makesomethingupyouprick · 11/05/2016 18:04

I remember a thread on here last year with people complaining that half a packet of pre-made filled pasta absolutely was NOT enough for a main meal and most women posting would eat a packet to themselves.

So he may have had a point but of course, could make his own dinner/get a takeaway which he did.

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