to be mightily pissed off

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

I tend to hold a policy that I don't do work for friends/family as it creates issues (if it's not as expected or there's a problem or money type issues)

Anyway, a friend has lost weight and needed a dress altering for a wedding. She took it to a place locally but they didn't do a great job. She begged me to alter it.
This involved some 10+ hours work.
During all the begging I clearly stated multiple times that I didn't want to die to my reasons above and that I can't afford to work for free or even much discount. I usually charge £10 an hour.
She kept saying 'I'll pay you I'll pay you' 'Money isn't the issue here I really want this dress' etc etc.

You can see where this is going right?
I caved. I did the alteration. It took me ages. Not because I'm not good at it, because it involved so much unpicking and undoing of the poor work done already.

She picked it up, fits like a dream. She handed me £20. My jaw dropped a bit and she said 'what's wrong? Oh! Your not going to exploit me are you?'
I said 'it seems like your exploiting me!'

I told her how long it took and how much work and I said I would want at least £50, which is a 50% discount and she knew this from the start.
She refused.
I have her dress.
She is now sending me quite nasty messages about how I've ruined her weekend and I'm only doing this cos I'm jealous of her weight loss and stuff like that.

I'm really fucked off.
I didn't tell her a price at the start as I didn't know how long it would take.
She says I'm being U to expect her to spend this much money on one dress (original cost plus 2 alterations) and also that as were 'friend she should get mates rates.

AIBU to have kept the dress til she pays me?

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

Thanks for all relies.

Mutual friend has already been in touch after seeing FB post to state that even without having the full story she knows I'm not the difficult party. Other woman is a PITA so it won't cause issues between me and mutual Friend.

I have had a couple of begging bartering messages now. Mostly explaining why she is right and defending herself and telling me it can't possibly have taken that many hours and I'm trying to rob her.
She is 'stunned and gobsmacked' that after she tried to help me out by giving me some work to do that this is my behaviour. Seeing as it's just 'sewing and replacing a zip! Anyone could have done it'

I'm going to block her number I think. I'm being thick skinned but some of these messages are not very nice.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

If it was so easy that anyone could have done it, she needs to account for the fact that the previous dressmaker couldn't do it, and indeed that she couldn't do it herself.

[Therealloislane]

What a fool. (Her, not you)

Charge the full amount. No mates rates, she's clearly not a mate.

[ImperialBlether]

How much was the dress to start with?

[Cocolepew]

I'd unpick all the seams then give it back.

[Foslady]

If any fool can put a zip in take it out and give her it to do as a refund!

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

I'd give it back when I got the £50.

In the meantime I'd send her an invoice with the work broken down on it and the full £100 price.

She'd soon pay up the £50 I expect.

[Imnotaslimjim]

If it was 'sewing and replacing a zip!' and 'Anyone could have done it' you do wonder why she hasn't done it herself!

Stand your ground OP you're a stronger woman than some and it sounds like you have support from mutual friend

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

She didn't ask just anyone. She asked you and you charge £10ph.

[MangoBiscuit]

I'd be invoicing her the full amount, cheeky mare! If she still wants mates-rates of a 50% discount, then she needs to update her horrid FB status with an apology and an explanation!

[Eminado]

If she has money to buy a new "flounce dress", she could have just paid you.

[blackbunny]

I suggest you
1 Return dress
2 Block her number,block on FB,only communicate by formal letter
3 Send a formal invoice to her requesting full payment within 14 days or you will sue her for the debt in Small Claims court
You don't need to sue,but the threat will let her know this is serious and may just make her think this is not worth the hassle,and may affect her credit worthiness in the future-which it could
Good luck!

[LouBlue1507]

Please please don't give her the free back, Don't let her think she can get her own way by bullying you!! 😡 Keep the dress until she's paid, if she hasn't paid by x then make a lovely bag on post it on fb for sale 😉 hehe!

[LouBlue1507]

** Dress not free ??

[OnlyLovers]

I agree with blackbunny. Make it formal. What an unpleasant individual she is.

[blackbunny]

The reason for returning the dress is it gives OP the higher moral ground- she could be accused of theft and the police could get involved, which would cause OP distress she doesn't deserve

[OnceMoreIntoTheBleach]

I wouldn't give it back. I see the point about moral high ground, but the 'friend' sounds like the type to see it as an admissions of wrong doing instead.

I'd do the invoice option instead. And include your full rates then in big bold font, '50% discount' to make it £50.

Cheeky mare.

[Cagliostro]

the cheek of some people!

[OnceMoreIntoTheBleach]

And add on the invoice '£20 paid: £30 to pay'.

[FeelingSmurfy]

In future I would find a good seamstress with similar policy and agree to send family and friends to each other, so you can recommend a decent alternative who they won't expect mates rates with, but you don't lose out on work because you will be getting her friends and family at full cost

[MrsMainwaring]

I'd make her sweat a bit too
Cheeky mare

[FayKorgasm]

No way would I give her the dress back. She is supposed to pay the OP for her services and obviously had no intention of and is trying to bully her way now.

[Cagliostro]

I think deposits would work in future. Eg 'I know it will take at least 10 hours so I'll need 5hrs upfront'

[expatinscotland]

I wouldn't give her back her dress till she pays up. And I wouldn't care how it would be for friends in common, I'd never talk to that cheeky bitch again.

But then, I wouldn't have altered that dress no matter how much she begged.

Lesson learned now.