to be mightily pissed off

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

I tend to hold a policy that I don't do work for friends/family as it creates issues (if it's not as expected or there's a problem or money type issues)

Anyway, a friend has lost weight and needed a dress altering for a wedding. She took it to a place locally but they didn't do a great job. She begged me to alter it.
This involved some 10+ hours work.
During all the begging I clearly stated multiple times that I didn't want to die to my reasons above and that I can't afford to work for free or even much discount. I usually charge £10 an hour.
She kept saying 'I'll pay you I'll pay you' 'Money isn't the issue here I really want this dress' etc etc.

You can see where this is going right?
I caved. I did the alteration. It took me ages. Not because I'm not good at it, because it involved so much unpicking and undoing of the poor work done already.

She picked it up, fits like a dream. She handed me £20. My jaw dropped a bit and she said 'what's wrong? Oh! Your not going to exploit me are you?'
I said 'it seems like your exploiting me!'

I told her how long it took and how much work and I said I would want at least £50, which is a 50% discount and she knew this from the start.
She refused.
I have her dress.
She is now sending me quite nasty messages about how I've ruined her weekend and I'm only doing this cos I'm jealous of her weight loss and stuff like that.

I'm really fucked off.
I didn't tell her a price at the start as I didn't know how long it would take.
She says I'm being U to expect her to spend this much money on one dress (original cost plus 2 alterations) and also that as were 'friend she should get mates rates.

AIBU to have kept the dress til she pays me?

[2ManySweets]

STOLEN?? What a fanny. Don't respond to that post whatever you do. Professional integrity etc.

[rookiemere]

I like that idea Doesanyone of undoing what you've done. I would charge £50 though as that was the figure you'd discussed.

[ZenNudist]

Don't give her back til she pays you!

[LightDrizzle]

Don't give her it back! There is nothing to be gained as she is already flouncing on Facebook.
Text/ email her saying she has 28 days to pay the balance owed and reclaim her dress. If she doesn't return within that period, you may attempt to mitigate your loss by selling the goods.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

I'd put on a passive aggressive Facebook status about being robbed or some such. Using her wording, obv.

That's the mature thing to do .

[PegsPigs]

So she'll waste time going to buy a new dress which will undoubtedly cost more than £20, probably cost more than the £50 you're asking for and ruin a friendship all because she's a tool? You're well rid.

[TheUnsullied]

I wouldn't cave and I wouldn't offer a middle ground. I'd send one more message saying "if you're not happy paying the already greatly reduced rate for the alterations, I'm more than happy to undo the work I did and can have the dress back to its original state by Monday ready for you to collect. Please let me know by the end of the day so I can get started."

And I'd stick to my bloody guns. She's royally taken the piss.

[Oldraver]

My Mum is always telling me I should do some alterations/sewing for work...despite her telling me how people would turn up to her with a pattern and material asking her to 'just run this up for me, it wont take long' and it taking her hours..... Mum now pays someone else to do her stuff

I take my hat off to anyone who does this kind of work

[NoelHeadbands]

I'd do fuck all. If she wants the dress back she knows what to do.

[Penfold007]

OP can you afford any fall out from her bad mouthing your work or her flagging up your extra income to HMRC?

I completely understand your point of view but I'd still give the dress back and chalk this up to experience.

[TheUnsullied]

In fact, having only just read that she's showboating on facebook, that's where I'd put the reply I wrote out in my last comment. I'd also add something along the lines of "I'm quite surprised we're in this situation actually as you repeatedly assured me you could afford the work."

[ijustwannadance]

Post a pic of the dress with a ransom note on fb. Cheeky mare.

[Pandora2016]

Stick it on ebay and send her a link saying that she's welcome to bid for it?

I'm mean though....

[eddielizzard]

awful behaviour. but i'd be tempted to just shove the bloody dress through her door tomorrow morning. friendship is over i think...

[DoreenLethal]

off shopping for a new dress after my favourite one was stolen this morning'

'Wouldn't it be cheaper and less hassle to actually pay me for the work which you repeatedly said you could afford?' I am not stealing the dress, just not giving it back until you pay for the work which you requested.'

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

'Friendship' is entirely dead and buried.
Not bothered about losing me a faux friend.

I'm not putting anything on FB. I'm not one for drama llama-ing around.

It's the brasses neck of some people that make me lead my hermity life. People are such hard work!!

I don't like the dress but I do like the fabric... It would make a lovely top... Or tote bag.

[Chippednailvarnish]

There was a thread recently about housecoats and aprons...

[Oakmaiden]

Oooooh - I like that idea. Make it into a bag and use it next time you go out with mutual friends and are likely to bump into her...

[Kariana]

She is very rude and actually giving it back won't solve anything as she will never treat you as a friend again so will still be awkward for you mutual friends. Also giving it back makes you look in the wrong and you'll find those mutual friends get a story about how you 'tried to fleece her but she showed you where to go'.

Text her saying you're sorry this has happened but that you explained it was 10+ hours work and you're sure she would be insulted if someone offered her £2 an hour for her work. Then say you are willing to give the dress back if she pays £50 or alternatively you will give it back with £20 of work done. Then undo some of your work if she refuses to pay up. Alternatively keep it and sell it to recoup your losses.

[shiveringhiccup]

If you stand your ground it's likely she'll pay up seeing as the wedding is tomorrow, she hasn't got time to keep mucking you around or to go and get a new one. Just to be clear is it her wedding or someone's else's that she's attending?

I'd send her a proper invoice and keep all communication in writing. If she sees a proper invoice it might help to reinforce that you do this professionally and it wasn't just a cheap amateur job. You might also want to phrase it in terms of "as I explained to you several times, it was a big job and my hourly rate is £10/hr".

How important is this friend to you? If they're a close friend I guess you could just give it back and chalk it up to experience, if they're more of an acquaintance treat it as you would a normal client - don't give it back until they pay up.

[Envigi]

Don't give it back! You'll get nothing out of it, friendship is dead and she knows she's completely in the wrong, just trying to pull a fast one.

Message her, that she either pays up full price, as she's no longer a mate and gets no discount or in 30 days you'll sell the dress to make up for your losses.

[shiveringhiccup]

Sorry x post didn't rtft.

Hold onto it then and insist she pays, send an invoice, and don't give her the discount. Keep it all written and professional.

If it's awkward with mutual friends that's not your fault, it's because of her behaviour not yours.