to be mightily pissed off

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

I tend to hold a policy that I don't do work for friends/family as it creates issues (if it's not as expected or there's a problem or money type issues)

Anyway, a friend has lost weight and needed a dress altering for a wedding. She took it to a place locally but they didn't do a great job. She begged me to alter it.
This involved some 10+ hours work.
During all the begging I clearly stated multiple times that I didn't want to die to my reasons above and that I can't afford to work for free or even much discount. I usually charge £10 an hour.
She kept saying 'I'll pay you I'll pay you' 'Money isn't the issue here I really want this dress' etc etc.

You can see where this is going right?
I caved. I did the alteration. It took me ages. Not because I'm not good at it, because it involved so much unpicking and undoing of the poor work done already.

She picked it up, fits like a dream. She handed me £20. My jaw dropped a bit and she said 'what's wrong? Oh! Your not going to exploit me are you?'
I said 'it seems like your exploiting me!'

I told her how long it took and how much work and I said I would want at least £50, which is a 50% discount and she knew this from the start.
She refused.
I have her dress.
She is now sending me quite nasty messages about how I've ruined her weekend and I'm only doing this cos I'm jealous of her weight loss and stuff like that.

I'm really fucked off.
I didn't tell her a price at the start as I didn't know how long it would take.
She says I'm being U to expect her to spend this much money on one dress (original cost plus 2 alterations) and also that as were 'friend she should get mates rates.

AIBU to have kept the dress til she pays me?

[Buckinbronco]

Well Lou blue, custodian of the thread, I was wondering how many people do pay £100 for alternations which surely must be a significant proportion of the cost of most dresses. I wasn't charged for multiple alterations to my wedding dress and that was £1400 to buy; 3 or 4 alternations would've made it silly money.

[OTheHugeManatee]

eBay the dress.

And send her a link to the listing

[AuntDotsie]

Applause, OP! I sew too and have been on the receiving end of this kind of nonsense. People just don't appreciate crafts and skills of this kind, or the time it takes to do them. If she wanted it doing on the cheap, she should have done it herself.

If she wants to pay you £20, unpick all the panel seams and give her 20% of the dress back. She can have the rest when she pays up and sewing it all back together is a 2 hour job max, right?

[FayKorgasm]

Buckin the OP does not own a bridal shop.

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Alterations to my wedding dress cost 500. It costs me 35 the other week to get a jacket shortened! If the dress needed significant alterations then 100 isn't unreasonable

[Buckinbronco]

I didn't say she did own a bridal shop.

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

When you buy a wedding dress the cost of the alterations are built into the cost of the dress, and are outsourced by the shop or done in house by a member of staff on payroll. (Not to mention that these alternations are small, not a complete resizing of the dress AND undoing of badly done alterations AND then redoing the alterations properly)

When you take a dress to a seamstress for altercation you pay how much the seamstress quotes.

The amount of work this dress needed, meant that's how long it took. It doesn't mean I spent 10 hours sitting at my machine. But I made to measure CrazyDressLady and then measure the dress, I had to do unpicking and a few mends in the fabric, remove lining, adjust both dress and lining, this involved removing the zip - a concealed zip (little bit harder then a regular zip), reattaching lining and zip, making good all stitches. And a hundred other little steps that I can't be bothered to list.

Dress making/altering isn't a quick thing. It is a skill, it requires hours of patience and precision.
What she has now ( or would have if she paid me) is a dress that looks tailor made for her. Because it is.
It fits her perfectly. There's no stretching of the fabric cos her boobs are slightly bigger then the size of model it was made for. Her post baby abdomen doesn't look obvious because I put darts into the fabric to create room there so it would sit comfortably and conform to her body instead of her body conforming to the dress.

Personally I think £100 to alter a dress is a hell of a lot of money but that's what she wanted.

[pootlepootle]

Good for you, hold your nerve. £100 for a bespoke fit is absolutely reasonable.

[OTheHugeManatee]

£100 is perfectly reasonable for elaborate alterations. A fully bespoke handmade suit can cost thousands, for goodness' sake.

Hold your nerve, OP, you are not BU.

[AlpacaPicnic]

Well done op, i can't decide whether I hope she sees sense and pays you properly, or she doesn't and you get your lovely new tote bag.

[ProseccoPoppy]

Fwiw OP is entitled to a lien over the dress until she's paid. Same as dry cleaners or mechanics etc. So holding on to it pending payment is not "theft" in any sense of the word. Think the dress woman has some nerve tbh, if it was me I'd be delighted you'd sorted it at such short notice and would have been expecting to pay the full amount.

[Therealloislane]

Enjoy your tote bag, I'd say you'll never see your £100!
(Which is a lot for alterations but I appreciate how long it took & it was a big job)

I paid £60 for alterations on a £60 dress for my dd's holy communion a few years ago. I remember being gutted as I thought the original dress was a bargain & I could've bought her a designer one for £120. But I paid it & it was worth it - it's a great skill you have, one that most people can't do!

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Come on then Buckinbronco if you were a seamstress how much would your hourly rate be?

[Redken24]

I paid £20 to have straps altered on a dress that cost me £15 - if you like a dress then you pay extra to have it fit you nice - besides if thats her buisness then you should be expected to be treated like a customer not as a mates rates etc

[Buckinbronco]

what a ridiculous post. C'mon then! I couldn't give a crap what someone earns- and fwiw wouldn't work for £10 a hour myself- but it seems a huge amount of money and I'm surprised enough people pay it to be a business that all. Like when people make crafts and it takes them hours and hours but people don't want to pay more than the price of a Chinese import version.

[ScarlettSahara]

Have just caught up with the thread & I am so glad that you did not cave in OP. It annoys me when people throw tantrums & attempt to get their own way by badgering ( an affront to badgers surely?).
I doubt that she will pay £100 though. I think you & others are right - generally people have no idea just how long this sort of thing takes. 💐🍷

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Then why comment if you dont give a crap, other than to oh and ah at charging £100 for a dress alteration. Yeah buy cheap - you get what you pay for.

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

This is why I only make things as gifts now. You did right op.

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

She has text me to inform me (not ask!)
'My husband will collect the dress this evening and will meet you in the middle with £50'

I'm tempted to reply

'100-20=80. The middle of which is 40, plus the original 20 offered makes 60.
But the price is 100.
Kids are in bed by 7.30 so before that time please'

Or should I just take the £50? She clearly hasn't found another dress today.

[Chippednailvarnish]

Ask for the £100.

Or £50 if she posts a heartfelt apology on FB saying that she had no idea how long good quality alterations take.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Ha, what a coward wanting to send her husband

If you want £100 stick to your guns, if you think she's just going to carry on being a nightmare charge less just to get rid of her, then delete and block her number.

[Penfold007]

Mooning I'd take the £50 and hand over the dress. You will get what you originally asked for and get her off your back. Could your DP or someone else actually do the handover to save you the stress of dealing with him. I stopped doing dressmaking for others for exactly the same reason. Put you feet up this evening

[DontMindMe1]

no. don't let her take the piss out of you so blatantly and deliberately!

i'd text back with the actual price of £100 and state you will not be handing the dress over until you've been paid for the labor.

manners don't cost anything, and in her case her lack of manners will cost her the 50% MATES RATES discount..........cos she's not a friend. she's thrown your generosity back in your face.

[OnlyLovers]

Yeah, I agree with Chipped to an extent. Make it clear you don't appreciate her accusing you to all your mutual friends and contacts of stealing.

However, I'd say word the apology yourself and tell her that, if she complies and posts it, as well as apologising to you face to face (screw sending the husband), you'll call it £80 and put it behind you.

[crazywriter]

Is buckinbronco the PITA dress lady or a friend? Lol

Well done OP. People don't appreciate how long things take and I'm glad you're not giving in. I doubt you'll get the money but you've got the dress to recoup the costs in some way. Enjoy your tote bag ;)