to be mightily pissed off

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

I tend to hold a policy that I don't do work for friends/family as it creates issues (if it's not as expected or there's a problem or money type issues)

Anyway, a friend has lost weight and needed a dress altering for a wedding. She took it to a place locally but they didn't do a great job. She begged me to alter it.
This involved some 10+ hours work.
During all the begging I clearly stated multiple times that I didn't want to die to my reasons above and that I can't afford to work for free or even much discount. I usually charge £10 an hour.
She kept saying 'I'll pay you I'll pay you' 'Money isn't the issue here I really want this dress' etc etc.

You can see where this is going right?
I caved. I did the alteration. It took me ages. Not because I'm not good at it, because it involved so much unpicking and undoing of the poor work done already.

She picked it up, fits like a dream. She handed me £20. My jaw dropped a bit and she said 'what's wrong? Oh! Your not going to exploit me are you?'
I said 'it seems like your exploiting me!'

I told her how long it took and how much work and I said I would want at least £50, which is a 50% discount and she knew this from the start.
She refused.
I have her dress.
She is now sending me quite nasty messages about how I've ruined her weekend and I'm only doing this cos I'm jealous of her weight loss and stuff like that.

I'm really fucked off.
I didn't tell her a price at the start as I didn't know how long it would take.
She says I'm being U to expect her to spend this much money on one dress (original cost plus 2 alterations) and also that as were 'friend she should get mates rates.

AIBU to have kept the dress til she pays me?

[StatisticallyChallenged]

I'd adjust it so it will be a bit too tight then give it back.

"Are you really complaining that the dress I adjusted for free to your exact measurements isn't good enough? Are you sure you're not just a bit bloated?"

[Only1scoop]

Re tighten seam....

Itching powder....

Gosh I'm immature

[AugustaFinkNottle]

Tell her that she is entitled to go back to the person who did the original alterations to ask for her money back and damages equivalent to what she has to pay you. There is no reason whatsoever why you should take the hit for her choice of an incompetent person to do the work originally.

[RandomMess]

I'm a cow and wouldn't give it back I'd rather lose the money

You told her it was 10-15 hours work up front so to offer £20 is just insulting, £2 per hour at most!!!!!

[Chippednailvarnish]

Ohh yes, make it smaller!!

[AugustaFinkNottle]

You could tell her that if she won't pay for the work you'll have to undo it?

[harshbuttrue1980]

You were BOTH unreasonable for not agreeing a price beforehand. I have had clothes altered, and the price is always agreed beforehand. Otherwise, how can both people agree what is reasonable?

[ParadiseCity]

Oh sorry I misunderstood - as she is a guest and not the bride I am now swaying over to 'don't return it until she pays' 👗

[RandomMess]

harshbuttrue - she told her it would be 10 to 15 hours work... at NMW that is nearly £80 as a minimum!!!!

[KoalaDownUnder]

Rude cow. Who are these people?!

Keep it until she pays up.

[RandomMess]

Ebay it to get your money back!

[Penfold007]

Give her the dress back and ditch the friendship. Start giving written quotes.

[Buddahbelly]

Op you have my full sympathy. As a dressmaker I constantly get asked "oh can you just take this up" or "can you replace a zip for me" like its a 5 min job.

I've done it in the past and it's never taken me less than a couple of hours, yet I get handed a fiver. The worst was a friend of a friend who turned up on christmas eve a few years ago with a dress that had been ruined (she told me it was a local alterations person but i can tell when someones tried a botched diy job, no dressmaker worth their salt would have left it in the state she brought it to me in).

So i said it would take quite a lot of work and for my trouble of working on christmas eve and part of christmas day night i was given £25. It involved completely unpicking the remainder of the lining, finding fabric and making the pattern for new lining, then sewing it up and reattaching it to the dress. all this for her daughter for boxing night.

I stopped doing alterations after that for anybody I knew. I just put a blanket ban on and redirected them to a local alterations specialist i knew would appreciate the work so i could get on with what I actually did for a living.

If you value your friendship then id just give her the dress back and explain that you've spent 10+ hours on it so to be given £20 was a bit gutting. If she values your friendship she'll probably say sorry and offer a bit more, and if she doesnt then you know where you stand with her, to treat you this way would be no massive loss anyway though!

[Msqueen33]

I'd unpick some of the work.

[Buddahbelly]

Sorry just seen that she's only a friend of a friend, then no YANBU. Anywhere else and she didn't pay up they wouldn't just hand it over to her and neither should you!

[DoreenLethal]

**

Itching powder is made by taking the tiny hairs from inside of rosehips. Still some about on unpruned Rosa Rugosa plants in most towns and cities.

OP have you any documented evidence that you told her £10 per hour and at least 10 hours work? If so, tell her that she can have it back for the actual cost of the alterations, otherwise you will put it back to how it was and she can have it back for free. There is no middle ground here. You offered it at half cost and she took the piss.

[DoreenLethal]

I supplement my income by doing a variety of thugs but one is alterations/seamstress work.

Alternatively go round in one of your thug outfits and demand with menaces.

[ZacharyQuack]

I would spend even more time and effort on it (because I'm pig-headed) and take it in a bit more so she thinks she's gained weight and sew scratchy things inside the waistband.

[gingerboy1912]

Return the dress on Monday she is a cheeky bitch who obviously has no respect for you.

[Redken24]

Message her and explain that you will return dress to the original format if she does not pay the rest of the money.
for funzies

[acasualobserver]

I'd unpick some of the work

Yes, do this. Remember to leave £20 worth of sewing though.

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

doreen I don't do thugs for money... I'm not that kind of seamstress!!!

[Ookmybanana]

Give the dress back but "forget" to take pins out. Real life voodoo!

[MooningIntoTheAbyss]

Thanks for all replies.

We're not close friends and I wouldn't be that bothered if we never spoke again tbh. But that would be tough on the friends we have in common.

[DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings]

I paid £15 to have the zip on a sofa cushion replaced the other week so YANBU. Give her two options £100 (no mates rates now as she's clearly not a mate) or you'll undo all your work and she can pay nothing at all.