Getting my boobs out

[wannabehippyandcrazycatlover]

I thought it was all a hoax about people making judgey comments about breastfeeding in public and that no one in their right mind would actually say anything...

Today I was unfortunately proved wrong, I was told by a gentleman that it was highly inappropriate for me to get my boob out and feed my baby in a cafe. I thought I was being quite discreet but obviously not in his opinion.

I was so shocked I couldn't say anything, I didn't think that this actually happened . Has anyone else experienced this? I'm quite upset about it (although won't stop me doing it in future) and can see why some women stop BF if they get comments like that on a regular basis.

Which one's more discreet here then, Dubby?

With the lady I saw, she looked so exhausted I really did think she'd swapped sides and just hadn't clocked it was still out or had forgotten she was in the middle of a shopping centre. I felt quite sorry for her. More so after DS' outburst.

Yer all mad.

Sorry, it is such a topic du jour I did stir it up a bit!

Still, while I BF my little ladies back in the day it was out of sight no matter where we went. Times were different then I suppose. And the entitlement culture was nowhere to be seen, but the kids are ok. They survived without Mum being an entitled creature at the time.

Different times now I guess. That is all I am saying.

How many babies do you know who'd tolerate eating under a blanket? Would you like to eat lunch with your head under a blanket?! So weird that you'd think that was a reasonable thing to suggest. And I'm sure the woman next to you felt REEEEALLY comfortable with your fascination at how she fed her child of indeterminate gender. Maybe mind your own business and then you don't have to even think about how she feeds it?

Oh and OP, really sorry you had that happen, what an arse :( I bet it never happens again bit if it does you've now got some good one liners to shoot back :D

some are not comfortable with looking at you doing it in a public space.

They're more than welcome to leave or avert their eyes then, aren't they? I see more things offensive to my eyes in half an hour in my local town than in 12 months of being around other BF mothers.

So Dubai, tell us about your involvement in the no more page 3 campaign.

I found it really scary to breastfeed in public, but never bat an eyelid when some else does. Naked women don't worry me (I don't buy this everyone must be discrete thing, sometimes it's hard if baby won't latch). But still I found it super intimidating myself. As a feminist I was slightly ashamed at my breastfeeding in public fear

Dubby
Bloody autocorrect

Most women on Mumsnet are obsessed with breastfeeding, as illustrated by these replies.

I don't want to see it, and I shouldn't have to stare at the wall because of your lifestyle choices to 1. have children and 2. to breastfeed and 3. to breastfeed in a SHARED public space. When in a shared public space, you need to take into account not only you and your child, but also the feelings of others, because it's polite and decent to do so.

I know a lot of you are ITCHING for someone to say something negative, or even look at you the wrong way whilst breastfeeding in public because you thrive on this attention, but this just shows a lack of decency, manners, understanding and class.

Breastfeeding in public is fine, just consider others whilst doing so by being discreet, such as sitting in a quiet corner of a cafe or using a scarf/shawl/blanket. That way, everyone is happy.

BTW I wasn't talking about feeding under a blanket, it was on a plane and the next seat was a stranger. The cover was a light cloth and worked well for everyone. The child never cried at all during the flight.

I cannot say that about my own or many others.LOL.

What's the actual problem here? Unless some want to be In Yer Face about it all.

Sometimes discretion works for everyone.

And when did entitled become an insult? It is illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding feeding mothers in public places. Therefore women are entitled to bf in public places.

What a load of bollocks Flowers. I don't agree with a single thing you've said.

In four years of breastfeeding I never had a negative comment. I was gunning for a fight but not even one tut!

I've never had a woman breastfeed in my face, nor seen any aggressive breastfeeding. It must be the coffee shops I frequent.

woops,

You know the old saying....

"When you're explaining, you're losing LOL.

Flowersandshit why don't you make others happy in sit in a quiet corner of the cafe, facing the wall.

I don't agree with a single thing Flowers said either.

I would never have fed under a scarf/shawl/blanket as other people's lack of 'understanding, class and manners' was not my problem. But that is moot, as in 3 years of breast feeding, I never once came across a single person that had even the slightest objection.

I've never had a comment, am pretty discreet I think, apart from DS slurping, at swimming (meh, everyone's half naked anyway) and when I once absentmindedly bared all in a Morrison's Cafe.
No idea what I'd say if anyone commented though.

I had it happen to me. I was discreetly in the corner of a cafe, a shawl over baby and part of me.this elderly man kept peering round his paper to look then when he finally decided that I was feeding (about 10 mins) he got up said it was disgusting and went to complain. DS3 was just new and I was quite unnerved by it. I went to the car to finish and drove home. We lived nearly an hour from the supermarket.
The hats are funny!

I breastfed everywhere and anywhere and no-one so much as tutted in my direction. I would have loved it if they had, tbh. DH always tells me I'm scary, so maybe I give off a vibe
^ this

An old lady once came up to me in a cafe while I was feeding DS who was about three months. It was the first time I was about feeding him alone and I was sat there feeling so proud of myself. She said in a very kind voice "You do know that there is a baby change room upstairs dear? You really would be more comfortable doing that there you know?" I smiled back at her and said "Do you think it's clean in there?" She replied "Oh yes dear, I should expect so." I smiled at her again and said in my nicest, sweetest voice "Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm absolutely fine where I am but I'm sure you the staff could help you upstairs with your tray of you feel you would be more comfortable drinking your tea beside the nappy bin in the changing room." I then gave her my biggest smile and turned away from her. She went and sat down but continued to shoot dirty looks at me.

There was a lovely elderly couple at the table beside me and the gentleman applauded and went and got me a piece of cake I was so happy that I stood up for myself but so annoyed at this lady!

I use the one up one down method and nobody ever sees anything at all. I was sat feeding DS a couple of weeks ago in front of my dad and he asked how long he'd been asleep for. He honestly had no idea I was feeding him, just thought I was holding him!

Do you randomly stare at strangers then flowers if your only option at not being able to look at someone is staring at a wall?

And this talk of entitlement - actually we still have a very reserved 'culture' when it comes to breastfeeding. Scandinavia, South America, Africa to name a few examples generally have women openly breastfeeding wherever with no judgements or reservations. It's not about being entitled or wanting an argument - it's just feeding a baby.