Getting my boobs out

[wannabehippyandcrazycatlover]

I thought it was all a hoax about people making judgey comments about breastfeeding in public and that no one in their right mind would actually say anything...

Today I was unfortunately proved wrong, I was told by a gentleman that it was highly inappropriate for me to get my boob out and feed my baby in a cafe. I thought I was being quite discreet but obviously not in his opinion.

I was so shocked I couldn't say anything, I didn't think that this actually happened . Has anyone else experienced this? I'm quite upset about it (although won't stop me doing it in future) and can see why some women stop BF if they get comments like that on a regular basis.

The problem is that plenty of women themselves talk about being embarrassed or uncomfortable about 'getting their boobs out'. Until the mothers stop being awkward about it, the general public won't either.

(disclaimer: I'm not the perfect, liberal progressive that the above makes me sound. I was too freaked out to do it at all - even in the privacy of my own home!)

So, YANBU that it shouldn't happen but I'm not surprised it does.

Bert I honestly thought it didn't happen and it was all lies for a few likes on Facebook and a good news story but then it happened....

I'm sorry this happened to you, There are twats everywhere - this person was definitely no gentleman.

FWIW the only comments I have ever had have been positive - there are lovely people everywhere too. The nicest I had was from a lady who must have been in her 80s - she told me how nice it was to see a baby being fed 'properly'. Perhaps judgey in her own way, but it made me smile.

I was once bf'ing in a quiet part of a soft play area in a theme park and a member of staff told me i had to move as I couldn't do that there as it was inappropriate. I wish I'd been more vocal but I muttered something like 'I'm fine thank you'

It makes me feel uncomfortable too if I'm being totally honest. I think it's because I'm a bit prudish. I would always go to a dedicated room (and plan outings so I was near one) when I was BF.
But I would never ever want to make a BF DM feel uncomfortable. I just look the other way.

Pointy I have had all lovely comments and offers of water up until now and it hasn't put me off, I guess I'll just be more prepared next time.

I thankfully never had any negativity when breastfeeding DD in public, was always prepared for it but it never happened! Sorry you experienced this OP and hope you feel more armed with responses if there's a next time

Re the women that Kate and strictly speak of, why on earth would you get your spare boob out too? I think anyone would feel uncomfortable in that situation

I think sitting there with a boob hanging out is a bit suspect. I think it might come across as though they are trying make a point.

I know some babies are hard to feed and you might not have much option about flashing a boob from time to time but that different to just sitting there with your boobs out.

Ive breastfed 3 children in public over a span of 8 years and no one batted an eyelid.

One of the times that still catches my memory is at a wildlife park, I couldn't find a spot without facing someone in th outside eating area...finally found a nice bench facing a nice big empty field. Dd2 was in full guzzling mode and it was quite a windy day. Anyway suddenly I hear a "choo choo" sound. It was only the park train driving through that big open field right past me . We had quite a few waves (as dd1 and ds were next to me) as I battled with the Muslin cloth to keep it on in the wind. No one came up to me and told me to cover my boob. Does this even happen?

Finding it uncomfortable to be around a breastfeeding mother is one thing. Telling a mother to stop feeding her baby is very much another

Pointy I have had all lovely comments and offers of water up until now and it hasn't put me off, I guess I'll just be more prepared next time.

so do people actually make "lovely" comments when they see someone breastfeeding?! I'd find that equally as offensive as someone telling me to put the boob away! Honestly, it's just a form of feeding a baby. It doesn't really warrant nice comments.

I once had a bloke on the table next to mine making loud PA comments about me feeding my son in a cafe, his wife tore him a new arsehole in short order. It was ace:o

I once got a loud tut and a "disgusting" from a woman in a John Lewis cafe - but only as she marched out (having finished her lunch - it wasn't so disgusting as to put her off eating or anything ) Unfortunately I was mid-feed and wedged in by the pram and other dc's highchair so I was unable to give chase.

That was the only comment I ever got throughout feeding 3 children. And I fed them all over the place. I got the odd supportive smile though, that was quite nice.

This is so annyoing. My friend started breastfeeding her baby at my DS party recently, and a friends husband made snide comments about it. I asked if he would like me to get the baby so he could feed it instead, he soon shut up.

It never happened to me but a couple of friends have had comments directed at them. I love WellErr's response - and that's exactly it isn't it, no one needs to look. I couldn't care less about boobs being out but if I did I just wouldn't look!

Don't let it upset you op.

I breastfed my DS, but never once did it in public and if feeding him at home when people were visiting I would go feed him in the nursery in private. Like Kate, I don't know why but I find breastfeeding uncomfortable and I'm too self conscious to do it in public! I think breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world but it does make some people (including breastfeeding mothers themselves) uncomfortable. I would never say anything to a mother publicly breastfeeding or project my issue onto them though. Having said that, I think it's a bit rich of some women to feed with both boobs out! Sounds like they're too lazy to strap them back in!

I had a guy once coming and having a go at me whilst I was bfing in MY car, away from everyone.
Apparently it was disgusting....

I actually had an elderly lady coming to see me to tell me how nice it was to see someone bfing like this and please do carry on! That made my day :):)

That hat is amazing. I always feel a bit oh bless when I see someone bf. Not much makes me nostalgic for lack of sleep and shifty nappies but that sight does.
I was once tempted to flash the non feeding boob at a gawking bloke. If he wants to ogle maybe that would scare him off!

I'm so sad this happen d to you! I'd like to think I have a full repertoire of comebacks to make the rude person shut up but realistically I think I'd just sit there mouth aghast, boob hanging out!
I'm a double top wearing boob out fan, one top down the other up sandwiching the boob so nothing is seen at all but that's mainly to stop ds pinching exposed skin!

Keep going, work on your comebacks, get ur tits out wherever and whenever u want!

I had a McDonald's employee come up and ask if I'd like for him to arrange for a chair in the disabled toilets. Umm, no thanks. He was (in his odd way) trying to be helpful, but did make me feel a little awkward.

Generally I've found that most people are fine with it, but it would be difficult to respond to any mutterings when you've got a baby attached to your boob!

Kate were they really completely topless? Spare boob out t? If they were thats odd

OP I'm sorry some shitty person said such a shitty thing to you, be proud that you're doing something amazing for your child and don't let it out you off xxx

The only place I received any comment was in the breast clinic at the local hospital. A lady tutted at me went to say something to her husband, who told her not to be silly and if there was anywhere you can get your boobs out its the breast clinic.

Put you off (damn autocorrect!!)