Getting my boobs out

[wannabehippyandcrazycatlover]

I thought it was all a hoax about people making judgey comments about breastfeeding in public and that no one in their right mind would actually say anything...

Today I was unfortunately proved wrong, I was told by a gentleman that it was highly inappropriate for me to get my boob out and feed my baby in a cafe. I thought I was being quite discreet but obviously not in his opinion.

I was so shocked I couldn't say anything, I didn't think that this actually happened . Has anyone else experienced this? I'm quite upset about it (although won't stop me doing it in future) and can see why some women stop BF if they get comments like that on a regular basis.

why would it be offensive to get encouragement from BF supportive strangers?!

Today I was unfortunately proved wrong, I was told by a gentleman that it was highly inappropriate for me to get my boob out and feed my baby in a cafe.

You sure that was a gentleman?

I don't get how men can do that. I mean, it screams "Hey, I was looking at your boobs". You should think they'd be a bit embarrassed.

Okay, I also don't get why women do that, because, hey, they're breasts, we all know what they look like, what's the big deal?

What's the point of that hat that looks like a boob?

Discretion is the better part of valour.

Unless you are all just looking for attention. Breastfeeding is normal. Just be discreet.

Why would you want to get your paps out for everyone to look at if you are not being a bit meh about it.

It is not something that everyone is comfortable with in a public space. It is a breast and that can be something not many are comfortable with looking at, even if it is keeping a baby alive!

Sorry to open the can here, but honestly, it can be done discreetly. The baby still gets fed after all, no dramas!

Dubby I am always what I consider discreet and by no means sit with no top on like pp have said- top up, top down, no one can see anything once baby is on but may get a slight glance at nipple before hand....would that be okay by your standards?

Well I STILL got negative comments...

Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, it is only because society has sexualised boobs that this is an issue- don't like it? Don't look.

Dubby - please can you teach my six month old DS to feed discreetly, if it's so easy? At the moment it's around three seconds of feeding, then abrupt head up and looking around because someone sneezed three doors down and he's HYPER EXCITED by it.

As a result of this feeding in public is difficult at the moment and - despite my very best efforts - probably not particularly discreet. Sorry. I do tend to go for the corner tables though (Nigel Farage would approve) so if it does make people uncomfortable then they have the option of, you know, not looking.

Oh put your pearls down Dubby

Hi Sands,

I was on a plane recently, and a lady in the seat in front was feeding her lovely kid, not sure of the gender.

She had the most amazing yoke that went around her neck and the child was under it. It was light cotton nearly see through, but not really. I was fascinated. All done, kid fed, and no one saw a boob or a nipple.

Nor should they in a public space either I think, just be thoughtful of others. It can be done without everyone seeing yer paps.

But some like to make a statement, and then wonder why others are not happy with tits on view either. Mad.

I never had any intention of breastfeeding 'discreetly'. I always fed my children in whichever way was comfortable for me and the baby. Sometimes this meant that my breast and/or nipple was briefly visible. If people don't want to look at it, they can look somewhere else. (Having said that I don't quite understand the advantage of having both breasts out at the same time...) I really didn't give a shit about whether other people were uncomfortable with my baby being fed.

But I never had any comments about it. Like PP I was ready to provide a robust response to any negative comments, but it didn't happen to me. This was before the law changed. It makes me quite angry that, despite the law, women are still being subjected to this kind of bullying.

Why the fuck should any woman feel the need to worry about discretion?

@Well Errr

I would put em down if I had any pearls that is!

Ah here, just putting forward a view. I hope that is allowed. Thanks!!

The law protects both Discreet and "non" discreet breastfeeders.
If you don't like it get a muslin to drape over your face.

Dubby why do you think a breastfeeding mother cares about 'making a point'? I can honestly say, since having a baby, making a point about breastfeeding in public has been the last thing on my mind. I want to feed my baby, society says I must be discreet and not show a lot of boob, so I don't, but someone still makes a sodding comment.

That is the problem right there.

"why should I etc."

Such an entitlement culture going the rounds now. No need for such militancy at all.

The majority of the population is not BF at the same time as you are, and some are not comfortable with looking at you doing it in a public space.

Note Public Space.

A little discretion goes a long way really,

Unless a point is being made here and paps are out to get a reaction for the Daily Mail or summat.

Dubby have you ever been bfing? Because you 'fantastic solution' to be bfing with 'discretion' is fraud that I suspect you have no idea.

Beside that, I would have to have a blanket over me, esp for eating. Why would I want to do that to my own child? it's a bit like eating in the toilet. I wouldn't do it either.

Oh fuck off.

also wtf are paps

@wannabe, that is the most honest and reasonable post about BF I have seen in a while.

Seems it doesn't matter if you are discreet or not, some will always object, that is not nice or good.

But still, I admire you for trying the discreet route anyway, despite the fact that there will always be serial objectors around.

It is the "in yer face" BFrs that I have a tick with. They could be a bit discreet if they really wanted to be.

Sad that.

What about the entitlement of people who say 'be discreet and hide your child from view'. That's the same.
'Why should I see a nipple for a whole 1 or 2 seconds?'
'Why should I be made unconfortable?' Etc...

Exactly the same than those who say 'why should I be stopped to feed my child in the way that is the most confortable/easiest for me and my child?'

Why do you think you 'why should I' is better or deserve more attention than the other?

Breasts, dear, they are called breasts. You sound like a toddler or a teenage boy, "paps" indeed.

Dubby not all babies tolerate being covered by something, however thin it might be.

You seem to think that it's either 'cover up' or 'let it all hang out' and nothing in between. There's a million shades of how women feed their babies in between, depending on the baby's development, boob size, baby's mood, the location - you name it.

If you see it and you don't like it, there's a very simple strategy - don't look.

You know what dubby... Just carry around a blanket to put over your head should you encounter someone breastfeeding. Problem solved!

It can be done without everyone seeing yer paps.
But some like to make a statement

A little discretion goes a long way really,
Unless a point is being made here and paps are out to get a reaction for the Daily Mail or summat

Oh look, another goady fucker.

Yes Dubby, that's right - none of us are really that bothered about feeding our babies - we're all just longing to be in the DM

Dubby I really don't know of anything bfing women who is putting their boobs out into your face and isn't as discreet as possible.
I mean do you see that many women going topless at the beach or whatever? No. Well its' the same in cafe.
It's not because women are bfing that suddenly all inhibition disappears.

Actually that's because all these inhibition that bfing in public can be very hard. So why adding to the issue by saying women should hide their child under a shawl.muslim/blanket. It's beyond me.

Good point, Tigger. The use of the terms 'paps' and 'tits' says a lot about the person posting.