AIBU to ask if you weren't maternal/ wasn't a fan of children...whether you had children yourself..?

[Brighttulips]

....And if so, how did it turn out?

I am just not maternal, in the slightest. I don't look at children at all and find them endearing or cute (apart from a couple of exceptions and that's only occasionally!)

I am 32 next month and am thinking that perhaps my maternal/ biological clock will never start ticking. Maybe I will never be a fan of children or desperately long for one of my own....but time isn't on my side anymore, my DP would love to have children and he'd make a fantastic father. I would want to be married first, but I guess, really if I am going to do it, I would need to start TTC by the time I was about 34.

Has anyone ever just taken the plunge and found that they adored their own child...just never anyone else's?

This is me. DH always wanted kids, I wasn't fussed but went along with it. DD is 17 weeks now and I absolutely adore her. My maternal side gets a little stronger every day. It's a love like no other because you made them and they're literally a part of you. I certainly hope we'll have a second but I'm an old gimmer of 35.

Yup, never felt particularly maternal, never had the sort of visceral hunger to be pregnant/have babies that I've heard about other people having, never found other people's kids made me broody or heard my biological clock ticking, was very much on the fence about ever having children myself at all - however I did eventually find that when I imagined my future with DP, we had a family. I have two little boys born when I was 37 and 40 and I love them very much.

No maternal feelings or broodiness at all. Couldn't see myself as a mum. Neither husband or I were 100% sure we wanted a child but I was 35 and we had a chat and both thought there must be more to life than work and boozing so we thought we would give it a try and leave it to fate. Was shocked to see a positive preg test about three weeks later! Our child is now 3 and is the best thing we've ever done. I had a straight forward pregnancy but didn't really enjoy being pregnant. I didn't bond and feel that rush of love immediately but I had a truly terrible labour. Apart from that it's been great. Most of our friends have had second and third babies since and I've never felt broody, neither of us want to have another one. I can't imagine having a baby again. I like each new stage, DD is so much more fun as she gets older.

People tell me I will change my mind when she goes to school and I have an empty nest. I won't. And I still don't really find other peoples kids that interesting but I know the importance of showing an interest these days!

Not maternal, never fancied having kids. Hated and still hate dolls. The least girly person ever.
Met dh in my mid thirties and we have one ds so far (I want another!)
I still don't like other people's kids much but the love I feel for my son just knocked me sideways. All those awful cliches about how much you love them? All true. I adore him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yes, it's hard work and he never bloody sleeps but even at 3am I love him more than I thought it was possible to love anything.

It's your choice entirely. You can be a good mum without having spent your life hankering after babies. Just as you don't need to be a dress obsessed bridezilla to get married, or be a pink-and-kittens type to be feminine.

I was the same. No interest in babies or children, until suddenly I inexplicably wanted one of my own. I worried all through pregnancy about how the hell I was going to cope, as I was absolutely clueless.
As it turned out, I knew exactly what to do with my own adorable DC, but I'm still a bit of a plank with anyone else's. I only peer into prams if it seems unavoidable. I'm much more likely to stop and ask to see someone's new puppy.

I find children irritating to be completely honest. I don't find them cute and if they sit near me on public transport I feel annoyed I have never felt the urge to have kids of my own, the thought of it fills me with horror. I have had dreams where I've had a baby and in the dreams I've felt panicked and v regretful, the relief I have felt when I woke up has been palpable.

To me children are just small humans, no more adorable than fully grown ones. Some are lovable just like some adults, some most, not at all. I adore my nephews, but not because they are children, because they are great human beings.

However, show me a puppy /dog and I become a blithering soft hearted wreck.

Again, not maternal in the slightest, didn't get the whole being a parent thing. I had a husband and a cat, why would I want a baby?

I fell pregnant at 33 out of feeling I ought to really, I wasn't against the idea but felt a bit meh about it. She was born when I was 34, wasn't instant love at first sight, yes I loved her, but you have to get to know them, they are a stranger, a whirlwind!

She is now 2 and she is our best little friend. She is funny, clever and extremely cute and cuddly. I would gladly step in front of a train for her if it meant she stayed on this earth.
Its hard to explain, but its like and extra play mate, she is one of us, it makes me all warm and fuzzy when the three of us are messing about and I know it will only get better the older she gets.

Nothing beats a cuddle and a kiss from your child and the love you feel for them.

Not overly keen on other kids, they are not as cute as mine

I'm not maternal. I'm not very womanly and I have the emotional intelligence of a spoon. I'm not warm and motherly.

I got pregnant accidentally, and I love my son very much. The baby stage is hard at times, but I love watching him play and teaching him things.

I was totally against having kids of my own until I suddenly fell pregnant at 36. I now have two and I love the bones of them. They changed my life. I cannot imagine being without them. They are my favourite people to spend time with and I am meticulous about my work life balance because of them.
I wish I'd known how much fun children are. They really do lift my life and fill it with sunshine. I get sad if they go to friend's houses at the weekends because I feel that's "my" special time with them!

Sort of - I have never really been a person who goes mushy over babies, and find some of my friends children a bit grating at times. However I adore my three month old DD and find her endlessly fascinating in a way I never thought I would :)

I've never been maternal and I would never have actively planned to have a child - DS was unplanned despite being on very reliable contraception, and a termination was screwed up by the NHS.

I am very happy with DS and I'm an excellent parent but I've never been the mushy/cooey type and I never will be. Often I've found that being unemotional about parenting has served me well, as I've been able to make a lot of important parenting decisions rationally rather than emotionally. But on the flip side I've read some reports written about me by professionals suggesting that I've not bonded with DS or not parenting appropriately because I appear too detached. But I'm sensible enough not to take that to heart.

I can take or leave children, except DS. But that's probably because he's the best child in the world

I wasn't remotely interested until my hormones kicked in at thirty, then I was desperate for a baby.

Your hormones will probably let you know.

I wanted to be pregnant but didn't understand why as I was always a leetle bit repeller by babies (if I'm being totally honest) and generally flummoxed by children small and large.

I'm the cuddliest mum and utterly entranced by my three dc's. I actually like other people's dc's too now, and enjoy holding their babies.

Never dreamt of having children and dislike children in general but am completely in love with my 4m DS

Never wanted DC due to being used as a constant babysitter, from around age 13, for my bullying older sisters. Their DCs were such little punks, I swore I would never have any of my own. I did not understand why anyone would chose to.

Then I met DH and I wanted his babies like NOW! No previous boyfriend had ever had that effect on me. 4 DC later, 3 of them vile teenagers and my maternal feelings have pretty much worn off (apart from for little DC4 ).

I was never maternal at all, and avoided kids whenever possible. But my husband definitely wanted to try for a baby so I agreed. I confess that I very much hoped for a girl. I had twin boys. I didn't really bond during pregnancy but as soon as they were born... WOW. I fell deeply and irrevocably in love. I adore my boys with all my heart and having them was the best thing I (we) have ever done.

I'm still not big on other people's children, but I love my own.

I was never interested in children and I thought my friends with children had awful lives. Husband wanted a baby so I had my first at age 33. I have three dc now - there is nothing as lovely as my children.

Pretty much what Derek said - I got pregnant by accident while at University and really had no clue about babies or children. Once I'd had the one, I decided that I quite enjoyed this mothering malarkey, and eventually I had 3 more. But I don't coo over other people's babies or miss the toddler years or anything like that.

I've got 2 children and I love the bones of them, however, I can't abide other people's kids. even my nieces and nephews but don't tell anyone that

Not maternal at all. I did worry as I don't like being touched and hugged. Then I had my eldest and there he was, this tiny bundle of perfection and I knew instantly I would do anything for this little person. Then we had our youngest and he is the huggiest child on earth, even now as a teenager, and you know what? It's bloody great!!

I wasn't at all maternal and found children boring. Even when I was pregnant I wasn't 100% sure I wanted children.
Now I absolutely adore dd and I find myself enjoying the company of other children to the extent that I volunteer at her rainbows group and used to do one day a week as a helper at her nursery until she started school.
I still think babies are rubbish though.

I was never particularly maternal or very interested in children and always actively avoided any kind of holiday job that would have involved working with children. Prior to having my own I think I'd held a baby once or twice. I kind of made it up as I went along when my first arrived when I was 32. I remember thinking that surely you should have to have GCSE childcare at grade C before having a new human!

I'm now a mostly SAHM to two children aged 5 and 3 and love them dearly. I find bringing them up rewarding, although I think a childfree life could have been rewarding as well. I still feel a bit awkward around friends' children but at least now know more about them.

I think having kids for none maternal mums is like ...
you don't like kids, you think you don't want kids, you think your life is fulfilled and you would be quite happy without kids but when you have kids you realise how wrong you were and how much they bring to your life. I thought I loved my dogs 😂 They were my babies

When my son turned I realised what a fool id been , the love I had for my dog is nothing like what you feel for your child , it hard to explain untill you have child, they become your whole world, you are obsessed with them.

I would totally encourage you to have a child it will be the greatest thing you do in your life.

I'm the same age as you.
I'll quite happily visit my friends children and I'll sit on the floor and play or I'll take them to the park or to eat ice cream.
Having my own? No fucking way!

If you're not sure don't do it.