It's a wedding invite one...

[gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn]

In an effort to avoid a few posts in here about me later in the year- I need some guidance on how to ensure maximum reasonableness.

So, wedding next year, were about to book venue. Number 1 choice is somewhere we love, it's a bit luxury and a very special place for us. We're having a medium sized wedding c.70 guests. There's nowhere else that compares for us. Now the problem, they have a rule that all guests must be residents in the hotel- everyone must stay. It's expensive. Most guests don't live locally, so realistically would need a hotel room anyway. We don't have the budget to pay for the rooms for everyone. Some of our guest wouldn't bat an eyelid at the cost, some wouldn't be able to afford it. We could probably pay 50% of total room bill in our budget. So subsidise all rooms until they cost £50-75 per person ish? How would we even begin to word it on an invite?

How do we avoid being unreasonable? Should we give up and look elsewhere?

Thanks

I haven't read the whole thread but have you looked at either the Old Course hotel or Fairmont in St Andrews?

This place is lovely, small and intimate. It's just north of Dunfermline so only about a 30min drive from the airport. It gets excellent reviews.
www.balmule.co.uk/

Having spoken to a few people who have attended weddings there it sounds like a very public place for a very private day. Lots of people wandering around, golfers etc etc.

But, lorelei, I'm sure the guest would have just as much of a treat (if not more) at a more sensible venue. So really she is just paying thousands of pounds just for the extras like a round of golf.

Augusta, I agree but I get the impression OP is set on it and I can't imagine many guests will be upset by the idea of a free night there.
I don't believe in spending thousands on weddings but clearly some people do so I was just thinking out loud really.

Am I the only person who thinks that a round of golf or trip to the spa is something you do on your hen/stag do ("doo") if you are that way inclined, rather than the day of your wedding?

To be kind, I don't think you'll get the most out of those activities on the day of your wedding.

(To be unkind-are you crazy? You'll want to concentrate on getting ready, we spent all morning in the hairdressers/doing makeup for my wedding!)

Confused, I was puzzled by that too but if the wedding is at five and they are in need of something to do, then different of course.

I think you are doing the right thing gin, either you pay for everyone or you find another venue. You were obviously uncomfortable with approaching the cost of rooms and the necessity to stay there with some of your guests. That wouldn't have made for a very happy run up to the wedding for you, or on the actual day. And you should feel happy about everything.

If you do decide to change venue I'm sure you will get some good advice here, there can't be a venue in the world and that a Mumsnetter hasn't been to. Either way I hope you sort of things out and have a lovely day celebrating with your family and friends.

Gleneagles is beautiful, I can see why you would want your wedding there, but the cost is high and to avoid the embarrassment of all, it must ultimately be your cost. Like others have said, the venue attracts people who have no issue buying the full package - and they can choose the weddings they host - this rule helps them to stay exclusive,

I'm sure you've looked at these, but here are a few suggestions - not all meet your spec

Hopetoun House, Dundas, Carlowrie (beautiful-just opened so still exclusive on the wedding scene), Orocco Pier (stunning views - very good at weddings), Norton House Hotel, Cameron House, Mansfield Traquir, George Hotel, The Carlton (stunning refurb). There are many places in Fife too

Reading the thread, I'd suggest that exclusive hire would suit you more and achieve the country weekend feeling your looking for.

Also, fwiw, although I don't regret the £££ we spent on our wedding, on reflection we could have spent half and it would have been as special - weddings spiral out of control - stick to you original budget. Focus on your guests and role as a host and keep Gleneagles as your weekend away treat.

Have a fantastic wedding, your day will be perfect for you, whatever you choose

Good advice Fruitysalad!

I'm thinking ahead and wondering would they allow some guests to stay at the lodges in Glenmor if your wedding fell during your Glenmor week? (Not a solution here as the minimum you can hire the lodges for is 3 days but more likely a week if it's high season)