AIBU to put 3 year old with 5 year old in child-contract taxi to nursery as one off and...

[Bluejay100]

Was nursery right to report me to Health Visitor for doing this, without informing me? I know it was maybe not ideal but my ex husband declined to take them at last minute as he was annoyed I've claimed for child maintenance, and it's an hour commute to my work via that nursery. I also work in a vital healthcare role and need to be in at 8. So not ideal, but is it a child protection issue?? I'm fuming at them.

She probably even scared off, I don't think one poster thinks it was alright. We all seem to be horrified

I am not calling paedo on the taxi driver. There is no suggestion of that for me.

But in a formal contract (as we are assuming is in place for the 5yo) the driver is in loco parentis for the journey and for handover

If no such arrangement is in place for the 3yo then effectively the kid is in the care if the 5yo. Which is not lawful. So effecticely the 3yo is not safeguarded by anyone for the duration of the journey and for the handover. Now of course, most of the time nothing bad will happen.No car accidents, the driver will not be taken unwell at the wheel, the 3yo will not figure out the seatbelt and bugger off to look at the pretty kittens or summat, either of the kids are taken unwell

Mostly, it'll be fine. But "mostly" isn't good enough, not when the reason to take such a risk is for mundane reasons given here. Op and her idiot ex's ability to risk assess their parenting should be looked at very carefully.

Op would know that, if she worked in the health service

3 & 5?! Yikes, my Mum wouldn't even let me go to the end of the road alone til I was 9!

Thank god we've got a care system in this country...... These kids deserve better

YABVVU

In the area I currently live and work a school contract taxi with availible seats in some circumstances is allowed to take a sibling on the journey, the parent should pay for that childs journey and it should be understood that should someone else be placed in the taxi on the actual contract the none contracted child loses their seat, the driver has to notify the office and the child recorded as also being on the taxi the additional child is covered by the drivers usual insurance.

Some of the taxis will have an escort on some won't an escort is usually only provided where there is a medical need for one for example if the child has a very significant behavioural issue where travel is an issue, or a medical device that may require attention, they are not provided just to make sure the driver is not a kidnapper.

To obtain a Hackney license in this area enhanced dbs checks are needed and passing a safeguarding exam.

They routinely transport 2yo's and above.

And yes parents/carers should be told about safeguarding referrals unless doing so would place the child at further risk. Granted in general that bit often seams to be totally ignored and most parents will not be told but custom does not change good practise

I think it's tough being a single mother when the father of DC remains involved but unreliable.

And like others I thought at first you'd just send the little ones in a random cab. But I now understand that not to be the case.

So if not random cab, I think you were in a tight spot and had to try and keep all those balls juggling up in the air.

Not ideal, but I do get tired of the 'kids first at all times or you're a monster' type attitudes. I put my child absolutely front and centre of every decision I make. Which includes me having a secure job.

As my child deserves a home, and heating, and food.

So if the choice was, risk losing the only source of income in our family, or risk unsettling my child a little bit by delivering her/him to nursery in a different way... When it was a driver approved for school journeys who I knew well and who was happy to make a paid detour, oh and she'd be with her big sister the whole time too.

Well, call me an evil child eating boogeyman, and yup, I'd take the job, home, food for my children option please!

If of course you have a very secure job and an employer who was very relaxed about lateness and child care emergencies, and if you weren't on your nearly last strike having had no other problems in the last 6 months or so... Then yes, it wasn't a great choice.

If you're really struggling, I'd use this as an entry point to possible support.

Good luck whatever you do.

OP would not have been sacked for a one off would she. She was being unreasonable and I"m surprised the driver agreed to do it.

mutters about 'safeguarding' so as to be in touch with mumsnetters

I don't see a problem with it as a child contract taxi. I also don't see every man as a possible peadophile so perhaps that marks me out as different from the majority of MN.

Potatoes I think it's more the issue that the 3 year old was basically unsupervised. A 5 year old can't be responsible for a toddler. The driver was driving. One 5 year old is manageable...a 3 year old alone is not.

Add message | Report | Message poster MattDillonsPants Fri 22-Apr-16 04:52:35
Potatoes I think it's more the issue that the 3 year old was basically unsupervised. A 5 year old can't be responsible for a toddler. The driver was driving. One 5 year old is manageable...a 3 year old alone is not

I'm confused by what you've said because I had 3 children under 5 and managed to take them out in the car and supervise them at the same time.

I don't have kids but I don't see the problem with this. It was a special taxi for children, they arrived as they were supposed to. It seems fine to me.

And the father got a double whammy in with his reaction to the maintenance. He's now managed to set the fuse to a safeguarding issue.

OP. If you are reading this - you probably panicked when stressed out and worried.. You had a judgement call to make so you made it and have ended up in a spot of bother. On the back of this here's hoping things can be suggested or put in place so you're backs never up against the wall like that again.

*In the area I currently live and work a school contract taxi with availible seats in some circumstances is allowed to take a sibling on the journey, the parent should pay for that childs journey and it should be understood that should someone else be placed in the taxi on the actual contract the none contracted child loses their seat, the driver has to notify the office and the child recorded as also being on the taxi the additional child is covered by the drivers usual insurance.

Some of the taxis will have an escort on some won't an escort is usually only provided where there is a medical need for one for example if the child has a very significant behavioural issue where travel is an issue, or a medical device that may require attention, they are not provided just to make sure the driver is not a kidnapper.

To obtain a Hackney license in this area enhanced dbs checks are needed and passing a safeguarding exam.

They routinely transport 2yo's and above.

And yes parents/carers should be told about safeguarding referrals unless doing so would place the child at further risk. Granted in general that bit often seams to be totally ignored and most parents will not be told but custom does not change good practise*

Thank you for making it very clear how it all works.

MattDillonsPants

Potatoes I think it's more the issue that the 3 year old was basically unsupervised. A 5 year old can't be responsible for a toddler. The driver was driving. One 5 year old is manageable...a 3 year old alone is not

They weren't unsupervised. They were with the drive. As notonyurjellybellynelly said, looking after 2 children is easy. I do it all the time (5 and 2) it's especially easy when they're strapped into the car.

YABVU to do that, you did say "one off" so hoping that's just it! *
*
IMHO no job however vital* is worth the safety of your* children. Lesson learnt OP.

You are to blame as you made the decision to stick them in a car with a stranger! Massive error of judgement....if you hadn't been reported, I'd be wondering!

I don't see how this is any different my using a nanny (or babysitter) to drive our children of that age around when they were younger. Our nanny used to walk the 3 year old up to her Montessori nursery school and back. I must say it was always clear who would be collecting them but I don't think what was done here was wrong or at least not enough to report to the health visitor. Our chidlren used normal taxis from a fairly young age (not 3 or 5),. My teenager has set up his own uber account and uses it.

This was in the papers (or one paper at least) 4 days ago. Just for all those saying that it must be a safe environment. I expect most of them are, but not in all cases it seems.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/council-accused-failing-check-school-7777463

I'm shocked that some parents would just put a 3 year old in a taxi like this. A 5 year old and an driving adult shouldn't be expected to supervise a 3 year old. Like others on here I'm fairly sure that it breaks all the rules of the service and obviously the nursery think so too.

I should say that I wasn't looking for examples of taxi drivers abusing children when I found that report. I was trying to find out what a child contract taxi was at this was on the first page. I'm sure that in the vast majority of cases the children who use this service legitimately are very safe and I appreciate that for some parents it's the only way to get their children to school.

I don't think that link is particularly pertinent fire- you may as well as all parents with a child contract taxi should cancel it in case their council is doing similar. It doesn't relate to an extra passenger as such.

I appreciate that Buckin, but quite a few posters have said that the drivers will be crb checked and therefore safe. It is a side issue though.

I wouldn't do what the op did, although lots on here would, but since the op has either dropped a grenade and disappeared or been scared off, we are debating amongst ourselves.

Potatoes I think it's more the issue that the 3 year old was basically unsupervised.

Basically unsupervised when they were with another adult?

I don't know how it all works, insurance or whatever... the fact is the driver was ok with it and that is his/her concern , but the child was not unsupervised.

These kids deserve better

What bullshit. It was a one off, not ideal but a one off. No wonder the OP didn't come back, I wouldn't have either.

You are to blame as you made the decision to stick them in a car with a stranger! Massive error of judgement

I stick my 12 year old in a car with a stranger. Should I be reported? He is no safer than a three year old, he would be no more capable of getting away than a 3 and 5 year old should.. god forbid... the taxi driver be a murderer or an abuser. I am pretty sure that no one would tell me I made a massive error of judgment when I let him get into a taxi or that he deserves better would they? Like I asked before, at what age does it become less of a risk for a child to go into a taxi?

I know there are insurance issues here etc but that is not why she was reported is it?

It happens quite often at the school I work in but it is an arrangement that staff are aware of.

Whether it's a safe guarding issue depends on the full set of circumstances. All the questions have been asked already.

Those who have said they wouldn't put their child in a taxi with someone they don't know are lucky it is not something they have to do. This is normal for many disabled children, some of whom will be 'younger' than 3.