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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to put 3 year old with 5 year old in child-contract taxi to nursery as one off and...

257 replies

Bluejay100 · 21/04/2016 19:43

Was nursery right to report me to Health Visitor for doing this, without informing me? I know it was maybe not ideal but my ex husband declined to take them at last minute as he was annoyed I've claimed for child maintenance, and it's an hour commute to my work via that nursery. I also work in a vital healthcare role and need to be in at 8. So not ideal, but is it a child protection issue?? I'm fuming at them.

OP posts:
MissHooliesCardigan · 22/04/2016 13:05

There really is some hysteria on this thread. PPs have said that their DCs go to school in taxis without escorts. People who actually do the job have explained how the system works and don't see a problem with what OP did. This is a classic example of everyone jumping on the bandwagon after the opening few horrified posts from people who didn't understand the situation and thought the OP had just shoved her kids in a random taxi with a complete stranger who was probably a paedophile. No wonder OP hasn't been back. And I've made literally hundreds of referrals to SS and you absolutely are supposed to inform parents unless doing so would put the child/ren at risk.

Queenie73 · 22/04/2016 13:11

My 4 year old goes on the school bus to nursery every day, with his 8 year old brother. He has been doing this since he was 3. He comes home in a taxi. At neither of these times is there a second adult. The transport is provided by the school (nursery is part of the school) so I assume all drivers have been checked.

I don't understand the problem. I do, however understand perfectly why the OP is upset. A vindictive ex means that she has to maintain at least the image of perfect parenting or risk it being exaggerated and used against her. In her place I'd be looking for someone who would be willing to do the school run every day. Perhaps a retired person who could do with some extra money, or a childminder?

UptownFunk00 · 22/04/2016 13:16

I agree with nursery too. What if the 3 year old took their seatbelt off?
Also you need a drop off person and random taxi driver isn't it.
I'd have phoned nursery to explain what had happened and that DD couldn't come in today.
Any friend or fellow Mum who would've took her?

MissHooliesCardigan · 22/04/2016 13:21

FFS it wasn't a 'random' taxi driver!

UptownFunk00 · 22/04/2016 13:25

Presumably it would be to the nursery Miss as they'd never have met him or her.

DayToDayGlobalShit · 22/04/2016 13:28

UptownFunk00 Fri 22-Apr-16 13:16:38
I agree with nursery too. What if the 3 year old took their seatbelt off?

I don't get this. Do you always have a second person in the car when you drive your kids around, just in case they remove their seatbelt?

Then you go on to say did you not have another mum to take the child to nursery. What is the difference between an official CRB checked school taxi driver and another mum?

MissHooliesCardigan · 22/04/2016 13:30

Why does that matter? Obviously it matters who collects them but why do the nursery staff need to 'know' someone dropping off a child. My friend dropped off DD for me once when I was ill. She just told them who she was.

Eustace2016 · 22/04/2016 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DonutSpeakToMe · 22/04/2016 13:46

I used to go 10 miles in a taxi to school there and back with 4 other children. I was aged 3 -6. That was in late 80s and nobody thought it was strange.

UptownFunk00 · 22/04/2016 13:47

Day I can't drive so maybe I'm not the best person to mention that but in a taxi you don't have a car/booster seat whereas in your own car you do.

Also what I mean by another Mum is that 1) the child in question knows her and 2) the nursery know her.

UptownFunk00 · 22/04/2016 13:48

Miss DDs nursery like to know if someone they don't know drops off DD. I guess to know I know they are with them? Can't see any other reason.

DayToDayGlobalShit · 22/04/2016 13:48

Thsnks Uptown.

I was just looking at it that the children regularly use this transport, and couldnt really see the fuss on a one off without the mum there.

Understand about the booster though.

UptownFunk00 · 22/04/2016 13:50

I also think the 3 year old isn't used to the taxi or am I reading that wrong?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 22/04/2016 13:53

I agree with nursery too. What if the 3 year old took their seatbelt off?

That could equally apply to any child traveling in any car that does not contain a adult in addition to the driver, so more than likely most day to day journeys made with kids.
Also you need a drop off person and random taxi driver isn't it
No you don't

I'd have phoned nursery to explain what had happened and that DD couldn't come in today

Now that would raise a potentially legit possible welfare issue, kid missing days at nursery because paremt with care cannot manage her commitments and cannot figure out a decent back up plan.

Any friend or fellow Mum who would've took her?

How is that safer that a licensed taxi drive who is already transporting children on school runs.

MissHooliesCardigan · 22/04/2016 13:59

The nursery staff wanted to know that the mum knew her children were with another mum? It would be very strange to abduct a child and drive them straight to nursery.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 22/04/2016 14:04

Day I can't drive so maybe I'm not the best person to mention that but in a taxi you don't have a car/booster seat whereas in your own car you do

Many taxis who do school runs do have booster seats in the boot for use on them, with some contracts it is a condition of the contract award,
When it is not a condition many parents will supply one that gets dropped off with the child.
School contract runs are a very different ball game with things like that than just jumping in a cab outside tescos.

Also dependant on the manufacture of the taxi (is it a normal car or a London cab style) it may very well have an inbuilt booster seat that just looks like a normal arm rest until it's pulled down for use, off the top of my head I can think of several of this style of taxis that do have those.

I would just like to stress I am not nor have I ever been a taxi driver but I do know a lot about the contacts system and taxi rules, having spent a significant amount of my working life in social care both adults and children and now issuing plenty of these contracts myself as well as spending about 15 years as the co owner of a taxi company whose main bulk of work was LA contracts my DLH was a owner of about 50 taxi's and would often drive them and as it was my money that funded his enterprise of course I helped him with office stuff

SwearyKnickers · 22/04/2016 14:08

This is my fault then ? Haha, brilliant

I was clearly making a joke AF. Telling the OP to leave the bastard would have hardly been a bad move as he sounds like a massive wanker. I don't know how you can be offended by the comment.

lalalalyra · 22/04/2016 14:14

Are both children yours? How come the five year old is entitled to a council funded taxi when you're dropping the three year old off anyway? confused

That's the situation I was in. DD2 was entitled to transport to the specialist unit. Not using the transport was very, very, very much frowned upon. All of the children arrived on their transport and all left on it so I had to let her (well didn't have to let her, but felt I had too because she would have missed a fun part of the day with her schoolmates and it was viewed as an important part of building their independence) despite the fact I was taking DS and DD1 (her twin) to the main building of the same school each morning.

GraysAnalogy · 22/04/2016 14:15

You were wrong.

I'm surprised the 3 year old wasn't scared.

It's all well and good having child-contract taxis if the child has been prepared beforehand, gotten used to the idea , but bundling them in in the morning? No.

littleducks · 22/04/2016 14:33

I agree with notonyurjellybellynelly explanation and worry about how little MNERs understand about things like SS referrals.

AnyFucker · 22/04/2016 14:39

I am not remotely offended, sweary. Your comment looked like a not so subtle dig though.

AnyFucker · 22/04/2016 14:43

Eustace was your comment about anal intercourse with children really necessary ?

It's particularly jarring when people raising perfectly reasonable concerns about this situation are accused of being hysterical.

Most people have not even raised the possibility of the children being sexual abused by the taxi driver. Your comment was gleefully salacious and offensive.

honkinghaddock · 22/04/2016 14:45

Ds goes in a taxi to special school. On the first day there was no preparation, he doesn't have enough understanding., he just got put in. He survived.

UptownFunk00 · 22/04/2016 14:48

Needs I explained most of those things.

But I was thinking that a fellow parent would be known by the 3 year old whereas the taxi driver wouldn't be or am I reading the OP wrong?

SwearyKnickers · 22/04/2016 14:48

No, it was if anything a compliment. I'm a big fan of your work in the LTB dept. Grin

(though I totally disagree with you and apparently most of MN about this thread)