AIBU to put 3 year old with 5 year old in child-contract taxi to nursery as one off and...

[Bluejay100]

Was nursery right to report me to Health Visitor for doing this, without informing me? I know it was maybe not ideal but my ex husband declined to take them at last minute as he was annoyed I've claimed for child maintenance, and it's an hour commute to my work via that nursery. I also work in a vital healthcare role and need to be in at 8. So not ideal, but is it a child protection issue?? I'm fuming at them.

Bloodyteenagers I don't think you know what you are talking about.

Parents/carers ARE informed of referrals apart from in certain circumstances for eg Suspected Munchausens by proxy where there is a risk that the carer could move the child to a different area of the country to avoid investigation.

It's standard practice to not inform parents beforehand if you are reporting to SS or other agencies.
It most definitely is not! They should inform the parent unless they can't or there is a good protection reason why they shouldn't.

Of course it is the business of the Nursery to know who is dropping the child off and collecting them. You don't own your children, you can't do what the hell you want with them. You have duties and responsibilities for them - so do the Nursery. If they have concerns, they have to report them. A 3 yr old arriving unexpectedly in a taxi is definitely a cause for concern.

My son travels to school on a minibus but he goes to a special school and has two escorts it's paid for by the lea everybody is dbs cleared etc I think that's the only way that's acceptable really .

Is it really the nursery's business who hands the child over to them? Someone has said this upthread.

I would have thought it can be anyone who takes the child to nursery. Picking up would be a different story.

Perhaps someone can clarify, as I would and have sent my dc with various people at different times, but always informed the nursery if someone else was picking up

Few years ago since mine were nursery age though.

I'd have called reverse too if the OP hadn't dropped a bomb and run

That said, as the DF was supposed to take them, so it doesn't sound like the taxi is a normal arrangement for either. Either way, it certainly isn't usual for the 3yo and the nursery isn't aware of the arrangement. Nor did the OP make them aware that someone who's a stranger to them and the children was going to be dropping 3yo (and possibly 5yo) off. And being late for work doesn't constitute an emergency.

I'd have called SS. I volunteer at a children's centre and was told during my training that usually it wouldn't be appropriate to inform the parent that I'd made that call. The only circumstances where I was told specifically to advise the parent that I'd called was if I believed they'd already taken appropriate safeguarding action but that the record needed to reflect an event in case of future issues.

My first reaction was that this was a really reckless thing to do. But actually, if the taxi driver is one who is crb checked and operates a legitimate and vetted service taking children to and from school, how is asking this of him any different from using emergency childcare through an agency (something which working parents on mumsnet are often recommended to do if their childcare falls through last minute).

Indeed, even if the taxi driver wasn't vetted but took the 5 year old to school regularly (and thus is known to the family) how is this any worse than asking another nursery parent to do a drop off or pick up as a one off? Surely in the absence of actual negligence it is a parent's prerogative to decide on appropriate care for their children. OP didn't just flag down some random black cab and bung them in the back with a tenner.

Not really seeing a huge issue here.

Loads of children get taxis to school and if the driver was happy to take the three year old then I see no issue with it.

My 12 year old often get taxis, he is just as much as a risk of being abused by a taxi driver as 3 year old is, isn't he? At what age does it suddenly become acceptable for a taxi driver to take a child to school? When does it stop becoming a safeguarding issue for a taxi driver to take children to school?

There's absolutely no way I would do this. Work would have to wait and I'd take them myself. What if something had happened to them? You'd never ever forgive yourself, and what an awful situation for you to have put the taxi driver in.
I think yabvvu and should be ashamed of yourself.

I was once reported to ss for a safeguarding issue by a young deputy welfare officer
It was resolved with an honest phone call with a social worker. I'm not sure if that is normal, but if it's nothing to worry about a social worker will work that out anyway

Surely in the absence of actual negligence it is a parent's prerogative to decide on appropriate care for their children. OP didn't just flag down some random black cab and bung them in the back with a tenner.

Exactly.

and what an awful situation for you to have put the taxi driver in.

Oh give over. He/she didn't have to agree to it.

Not enough info.

If the taxi driver was known to both children, they felt happy to travel in the taxi without a parent, the driver was happy to take both children and the driver handed the children over to a responsible adult at the Nursery then I don't see the problem. I'd have probably done the same under the circumstances.

OP should have contacted the Nursery to explain the arrangements.

I can understand why the Nursery would have made a referral if they weren't sure that all of the above conditions were met, but I expect it would probably be cleared up fairly quickly with SS.

Anyfucker nailed it. Some of you clearly do not understand safeguarding. Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility yet when something happens the blame seems to always sit with the social worker. For what it is worth I have spent many many years working across various teams including child protection, children with disabilities and education. I currently chair child protection conferences. On the limited information given i would be concerned and would have expected the nursery to refer to childrens services. It would then be up to the local authority to assess the situation.

I will leave this thread now, as the op appears to have dissapeared.

A crb is only good the day it is issued

Exactly the same situation with a child minder in that circumstances. These are people who take children in their car for a living. Why would this one suddenly decide to kidnap the child?

Actually Elsie I agree with you, I think it's fine to refer on as that is the whole point of the service really. Whether the parent is negligent is another issue based on what actually happened which we don't know as no elaboration has been ordered

My auto correct makes me look like a traffic warden

Its not unusual for a child to be transported to school by a crb checked driver whose company has a contract with the council. Without a chaperone. If thats the scenario op, and you didn't flag down a black cab, then I can't see the problem really.

Jesus

If anything this is a clear message that employers need to be much more supportive of working parents who are facing an emergency.
No one should be placed in the position where they cannot risk taking their child to nursery.

I think your ex dh holds the responsibility here and he is the one who should have ss knocking on his
door, I'd used it as an example of him not being trust worthy and I would stop contact.

First post, dropped controversial OP and didn't return....ok then.

So what happens on a regular day? Does the 5 year old go in the taxi and one of the parents do the exact same journey for the 3 year old? If not, how come the taxi share arrangement would work?

So just two hours after posting and not updating/responding, op gets badmouthed for "disappearing". Maybe she is just otherwise occupied and not constantly checking her thread. The accusations of disappearing discourage people from seeking help, advice and input from others.

Wow, just realised the first "op has vanished" came about 20 minutes into the thread. Scary!

I expect she has vanished because of the outrage