AIBU to not want to socialise with someone convicted of sexual offences related to children?

[tomhardyonthewaltzers]

Am I losing my mind? because apparently I'm being unreasonable!.

A friends wedding is coming up. Invitation arrived ages ago and I accepted. I was really looking forward to it as would see lots of friends from Uni I haven't seen for years.

One of our old friendship group was several years ago convicted of making and distributing child abuse images. He got a suspended sentence. His GF was also part of our friendship group and she stuck by him. I cut contact with both of them.

A few years later he was caught again and jailed this time. GF found out she was pregnant just after he went inside. Again she stuck by him and they now have two children together and are still a couple but not living together since he was released.

They're both invited to the wedding which I only just found out. So I told friend who's getting married that I won't attend now because they're going.

So now I'm being pressured by the rest of the friendship group. Told that friend who's getting married is devastated, that her wedding won't be the same if I'm not there to watch her get married. Can't I just put my opinion aside for one day? That they don't want to see him either but wouldn't let the bride down. I was even called selfish!.

I CANNOT watch him laughing and joking at the reception or having a dance or whatever. I just can't watch him enjoy himself knowing what he's done and I am more angry with his partner really, although I know that's unfair but I just can't fathom her thought processes at all.

Would anyone on here be able to put it aside and go? I do feel guilty about letting my friend down and upsetting her and it seems like I'm the only one of our friendship group making this decision.

Person who drank drive at wedding: awkward, liklihood of judging high, likelihood of any children being mentally/physically harmed low

Person who is a convicted paedophile at wedding: not quite the same in any dimension ever in the universe

Can you see that?

There is a huge difference between drink driving and paedophilia. If he's done it twice who's to say he won't do it again. If I was a guest taking my child to a wedding where there's a convicted paedophile I'd want to know, so that I could rip up the invite. I would not willingy breathe the same air as him if I didn't have to, and no way my kids would be going near him, not if I could bloody well help it. OP, YANBU. Stick to your guns. I'd rather miss the wedding than socialise with that scum

I think my first line in my OP was correct. I am losing my mind apparently!.

I've stepped into a parallel universe where defenders/excusers of child abuse are implicitly validated by people being understandably outraged by the Gfuckery and responding as such not just being deleted but MNHQ comes on to essentially 'tell everyone off' for it.

As a pp poster said, some of the posts supporting/minimising CSA are among the worst I've ever seen on MN.

I'm out. And not just from this thread but from MN full stop. The plot has certainly be lost by MN imo.

The two crimes weren't being compared or equated.

I was making a point in response to a previous poster saying that to invite someone to something was to condone their crime. I was pointing out that that statement wasn't accurate. There nothing to say the bride and groom condone child abuse.

I think that removing the posts that are fucking appalling should be the first to go but I see most (all?) of them are gone now at least.

Still seems pathetic to remove posts insulting those who minimise child abuse all because they were 'personal insults'. They were effectively defending paedophiles.

God, I hope there are no reporters on this thread or anything. The whole thing has been appallingly dealt with.

How fucking dare you refer to people's reactions to this as hysteria?

I get that you're getting a kick out of being argumentative but don't be so disgusting and disrespectful.

You are defending the rights of a man who gets off on watching innocent children being abused. You do realise that?

Nobody gives a fuck about your scummy friend who drank and drove.

MNHQ will delete the thread when the media gets wind.

But everyone posting on here will know that they stood by the posts of child abuse apologists.

Your comparative point was pointless Add. It was ridiculous in its initial iteration, and more so now you attempt to defend it.

of course its condoning the crime..

By inviting him they're saying 'we know what you did, but we're fine with it and quite happy for you to be around other peoples children.' and you can bet quite a few of those people DONT know what that sick fuck did... and should know.

There nothing to say the bride and groom condone child abuse.

But can't you see that by socialising with someone who does it, you are therefore accepting the behaviour. Because it's what makes them them! Therefore you are saying that you do condone it because you are ok with them doing it

Oh come on, Olivia.

All the deletions on this thread, the OP leaving the site and you're allowing AddToBasket to keep goading away?

She knows eactly what every other poster is getting at but is carrying on anyway.

Of course the bride can invite who likes. But you would have thought she would use her brain and not invite a paedophile. Or try to guilt trip the op in saying her day would be ruined if the op didn't attend because of said paedo

Just for clarification and because the message has now been deleted, according to ops account, the man in question was convicted on charges for porn, which included forced acts between children and animals. I'm not sure if he took or viewed the images.

You know what? Fuck it.

Anyone who knowingly has anything to do with someone convicted of such crimes is a fucking atrocious human being and should be shunned by every decent person in society.

The person that commits the crime should never see the light of day again.

The person that created the original picture or video should be tortured 24 hours a day 7 days a week and be kept alive with machinery so they can suffer endlessly.

If this mkes me a bad person, fuck it. I'm a bad person.
If anyone wants to defend sick fuckers, you go for it, your a sick fucker too.

Add you know when people advise you to shut up rather than prove you're stupid? Honestly, this is one of those times now.

You are using her wedding because you 'want to make a stand'. Not really OK to use someone else's big day to grandstand your views.

OP said the reason she isn't going is that she "cannot watch him laughing and joking at the reception or having a dance or whatever. I just can't watch him enjoy himself knowing what he's done". Addto, can you not understand those reasons? How do you extrapolate from that that she's grandstanding her views?

I'm not being goady. I have taken a lot of abuse on this thread and ignored a lot of very goady 'paedo apologist' type comments. I have, in several places, described this guest's crimes as 'disgusting' and stated that I'm not up for being friends with people like this.

This is an AIBU and I think the OP has not handled the fact that it is her friend's wedding well. That's not goady, that's a valid point of view and I'm making it calmly.

Well Add - I hope the entitled bride put in with the invites that went to people bringing children that he was going to be there, what he was convicted of , that he was on the sex offenders register and oh yes, a key to what the different categories mean. Then she might be entitled to invite who she wants because she would have given them the information they were entitled to in their turn

If the other guest is actually dangerous, that should be handled by the police and the justice service and not by hysteria.

AddtoBasket, are you implying that he isn't necessarily a threat to the children at the wedding? I'm not asking sarcastically: I don't want to put words into your mouth.

Also, there are countless situations that aren't police matters, but are dangerous nonetheless. I wouldn't date someone who had been in prison for domestic violence, but it wouldn't be illegal for another woman to date him. Doesn't mean I wouldn't think she was in danger.

Yeah, him being a criminal isn't really the point. Not all crimes are created equal.

Rape is a crime where it is extremely common for the rapist to go free, and even if he doesn't, the circle of friends will often side with him over the victim(s). This is the symptom of a very sick culture, and we need to work against that culture.

People react appropriately to most other crimes where the victim is obvious. Drunk driving and tax evasion and a number of other crimes may get a different reaction because the damage done might be just potential (drunk driving) or too complicated to even see (tax evasion), but that's different from the excuses used for rapists.

Looking at child abuse images doesn't have the excuse of not knowing who is harmed by it - the children are right there on the images.

OK, Addto, you have now demonstrated very clear that you are on this thread purely to goad. Because, over and over again, you are claiming OP is making this a drama about her, when it's been repeatedly pointed out to you that there is no evidence of that; and you're repeatedly failing to respond to people pointing out the facts. You really are showing yourself up.

Why are MNHQ allowing such appalling goading on this subject?