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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To LOL at DP's EXW putting up wedding photos....

291 replies

movingonup2015 · 19/04/2016 09:48

I know (well I think anyway) I'm not being unreasonable to think this is slightly weird

DP has been divorced for several years, went to collect DS last week to find the EXW had redecorated and put up framed photos of her and DP's wedding.. not of the guests just of the two of them in loving embraces!

DP asked her why on earth she felt it appropriate to put up their wedding photos when they hadn't been together for years and years and she just replied with she thought it was perfectly normal and that its for DS to look at...

It's not just me - that's really weird right?

OP posts:

PipersOrange · 19/04/2016 10:28

YABU and you sound like you're projecting your feelings about her onto her DS.

Original poster

movingonup2015 · 19/04/2016 10:31

ok maybe I've come across completely the wrong way in this... I'm in no way sneering or gloating but yes perhaps the title of LOL was the wrong thing to use.

I think it's just after a long few years of many tricks trying to split me and DP up that I'm thinking perhaps this is another way of trying to get him to see she still wants him back.

DS often complains to his dad that his mum has done X Y Z this week and he doesn't understand why - DP doesn't probe him, neither do I - he just comes out with it on his own. I actually find it quite uncomfortable that he says to me things like his mum isn't normal or she's a weirdo etc. I don't say anything I let DP deal with it.

OP posts:

zzzzz · 19/04/2016 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rebecca2014 · 19/04/2016 10:35

How old is this boy? I hate to think of my child bitching about me to her dad, saying I'm a weirdo and not normal.

Meh about the pictures, I wouldn't dwell on it.

OohMavis · 19/04/2016 10:36

You feel so uncomfortable about it that you post a big LOLing thread about it on Mumsnet.

I feel awful for your boyfriend's ex-wife. She's clearly not over the divorce, that's a given, so let's all sneer at her while she gets gossiped about on social media by her ex's girlfriend. Lovely.

WannaBe · 19/04/2016 10:37

DSS called his mum a weirdo? Really? And how did his dad pull him up for being so bloody disrespectful?

Tbh I don't think that having pictures of a wedding is as odd as new partners who are quite so hung up on how the ex lives her life. Insecure are we op?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 19/04/2016 10:38

Hmmmm...

Sprink · 19/04/2016 10:38

think it's actually quite disrespectful of your boyfriend to come home and tell you about it, to be honest.

Oh, please.

ADishBestEatenCold · 19/04/2016 10:39

How unpleasant you sound, movingonup2015.

I would be more concerned about what your attitude is doing to their child, than I would be about what seeing a few photographs of is parents in happier times is doing.

"What your DP's XW has in her own house is so far from being your business it's practically my business."

Love this, KurriKurri

Floggingmolly · 19/04/2016 10:39

I don't see how it could be "reassuring" for a child to see pictures of his parents happily together, when they aren't together anymore... What kind of logic is that

ADishBestEatenCold · 19/04/2016 10:40

his parents (not is parents)

Nabootique · 19/04/2016 10:41

I think keeping them and showing them to the DS is fine, displaying them is a bit strange.

Having read your previous threads relating to the EXW I can understand why it may make you feel a bit odd.

MidniteScribbler · 19/04/2016 10:44

He is not your DS. He is your boyfriend's DS.

Helmetbymidnight · 19/04/2016 10:47

If my ex dh did up his lounge and decided to now put up photos from our wedding, we'd all think he was a weirdo too.

Don't worry about it, OP. Just steer clear of her - she sounds like she has issues.

PrivatePike · 19/04/2016 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WannaBe · 19/04/2016 10:50

Well, I wouldn't put up wedding pictures personally but whatever really. The reality is that they were together once, and happy enough to be married to each other and have a child together. I don't think it's wrong for a child to know that there was a time when they were happy together.

In terms of it being disrespectful for the OP's DP to come home and tell the op about it, yes, I think it is, disrespectful to the ex. If they have an amicable enough relationship that he comes into the house, far enough in to see what pictures she has up and where, and is then going back to his partner and bitching about her then yes, it's bloody disrespectful. If I were the ex he wouldn't be coming into my house again.

TheRealCornholio · 19/04/2016 10:51

EIther she is still hung up on your husband which is quite sad. Or she wants her child to see pictures of the two people he cares most about on the wall. It might be nice for him see them happy together. Neither of which is funny and both make you look like a mean spirited arse. Even with the drip fed second post.

Totally disagree with posters who think children will be destroyed somehow by seeing a happy picture of their parents together in the past. Much better to think your parents always hated each other.

UterusUterusGhali · 19/04/2016 10:52

You sound awful, OP.

I had a picture up of my ex for a while with the kids, it was for them. They don't see him every day so thought it would be nice for them.
It's in their room now.

So what if she still loves the father of her child?

Helmetbymidnight · 19/04/2016 10:53

Blimey, we often bitch about our exes. It keeps us bonded.

I didn't realise sharing with your partner what your crazy ex has done is so frowned upon.

TheRealCornholio · 19/04/2016 10:53

DSS called his mum a weirdo? Really? And how did his dad pull him up for being so bloody disrespectful?

Yes, this. You have no idea what he says about you both when you're not around either. Best to let him know talking about people behind their backs isn't the done thing.

OllyBJolly · 19/04/2016 10:55

YABU and quite nasty. Focus on your own life and let other people live theirs whichever way they want to.

Onlyicanclean10 · 19/04/2016 10:56

I think your dh should be far more concerned s out the lack of respect shown by his son to his mother.

However as you are both sniggering and pissing on her choices within
'Her' home then he's probably got it from you two.

Stop being so nasty.

hairymelonwalton · 19/04/2016 10:56

maybe she really enjoyed the actual day and thought she looked lovely in her dress
regardless of what happened afterwards

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 19/04/2016 10:57

Drip drip, one minute you're laughing about it, now you're concerned for the child because things aren't going your way.

TheRealCornholio · 19/04/2016 10:59

^I had a picture up of my ex for a while with the kids, it was for them. They don't see him every day so thought it would be nice for them.
It's in their room now. ^

I'm with my kid's dad but I'd like to think if we split that I'd (and he'd) do the same. What happens if your partner dies OP and then you meet someone new? Do the children still need to hide all trace or is that OK then? It must be really uncomfortable for children to feel like they can't talk about or care about their other parent in a nice way.

Maybe that's why your step son feels the need to slag off his mother.

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