significant birthday

[penguinfan]

So last month it was my birthday, the one before a big significant #0. Had a meal for family. My brother and his fiancé were there and I mentioned that next years birthday was the big one and as it is going to fall on a Saturday I'm planning on throwing a big party. I don't really get on great with future sis in law. Always feel like she looks down her nose at me as I'm a single mum. Any hoo.... Fast forward to today and I've just received a save the date card for their wedding... For the date I want to throw my party on!!! Aibu to feel she has done this on purpose?? I'm really upset that my special birthday will now be overshadowed by their wedding!

Only got their word for it its the only date the church has free.

Ah yes, because that's such a great idea Sparkles...

They maybe had an appointment with the celebrant but didn't want to rock the boat until it was confirmed. Sorry, OP, I think you're going to have to suck it up - it seems a legitimate reason to choose a certain date. Be the bigger person and arrange your party for a week before or after.

Lagunabubbles you have a point. But would I look petty to ring the church and ask for available dates for next year??

Only got their word for it its the only date the church has free.

Oh for christ sake

Seriously, some people will do or say anything to make sure they can blame the SIL or the MIL on this forum.

For the love of god do not ring the church, it's none of your business.

If you do find out the church has other dates available what do you plan to do with that info? I can only see it becoming a huge family problem.

I don't believe it was the only free date.

Was he apologetic about the fact it was your birthday at all? Maybe apologetic is the wrong word, but did he at least recognise it's a bit shit for you? It would probably help you feel better about it if he did.

Ignoring your DSs birthday was a rubbish thing to do but does confirm the fact that they just don't see other people's birthdays as important. Which means wedding date clash probably wasn't a deliberate dick move on your SILs part.

If course you would. Why do people always just dig and dig, in desparation to find that someone might have possibly done things to be maybe not nice? Always an ulterior motive being searched for just to justify someone not being happy with something.

But would I look petty to ring the church and ask for available dates for next year??

No, just a bit mentally unbalanced.

You really think they have nothing better to do when planning a lovely wedding etc, than to think about your birthday and how they can possibly spoil it??

Are you jealous of their wedding OP?

Because that's how you're coming across now imo. Like you're stamping your feet at someone else 'stealing your limelight'.

Is your significant birthday ending in a zero, your 10th birthday? That's the only explanation I can think of for being so childish about this. You didn't even have definite plans, and to think of ringing the church...really?!

(I'm not usually so bitchy even on AIBU but a friend of mine took his own life on my 30th birthday. People keep asking what I'm planning for my 40th There are more important things than adult birthdays, not least weddings and funerals.)

You are really being unreasonable.

They had one day which they could book their wedding for, so they booked it. They probably sent the save the date invitations out quickly so you have plenty of time to sort something out for your birthday. You can celebrate on the Friday night, previous Saturday or next Saturday.

I think you're being really difficult about it!

But would I look petty to ring the church and ask for available dates for next year??

Petty would not be the word...

Unless you're kidding, you're starting to sound like one of those people who quite enjoys conflict.

But its true Worra - they are saying its the only date free, now it may well be the only date ( I have no idea) but its someones word isnt it. I wouldnt phone church or anything like that penguin however.

Have yours the weekend before and make sure it's an amazing party! One that people will remember

Just text back and say your message was tongue in cheek and you're sure they'll have a lovely day. Then if you really feel that this is deliberate just keep a calm distance. Plan something nice for yourself and friends the weekend before

Good advice cuntycow.

Fair enough Laguna but I think it's a lot more likely that they're telling the truth, rather than thinking up ways to plot the destruction of the OP's birthday plans...

Err...stop now. You are starting to come over a little paranoid here. That sounds like a plausible and unavoidable explanation.

You will have to text back something like, "Ah I see. That makes sense. I was kidding about the joint party etc. I didn't understand why the clash of dates. I do now. Bad joke, fell flat. Please ignore me."

Worraliberty I am pissed off that they are stealing my limelight. I've never really got on with sis in law. Like I said before, she looks down her nose at me. I'm utterly convinced she would pull a dick move like this to spite me. But there's nothing I can do now as like everyone has said, I'm coming across as the dick. I will still have my big significant party but maybe the month before or after their wedding. I'm not a spiteful person at all and have struggled in life being a single mum. I work full time to support us but sis in law has on several occasions made snide comments about me being benefit scum and how she has to work to pay for my son. She clearly doesn't like me.

Bollocks it was the only date available...

Aw penguin fab text!

Do not ring the church btw. Seriously.