To not support my brother dating our cousin?

[ChickenDrumsticks]

My brother has announced he is dating our cousin, and has been for around 3 months. She's Mum's sister's daughter. They have been posting lovey-dovey statuses on Facebook and have (according to mum) got very pissy when people have made criticisms. They both have 2 children from previous partners and are looking at buying a house together.

AIBU to not be supportive of this relationship? The kids are all between 8 and 11 and I worry it could adversely affect them. We live in a small town and it's only a matter of time before their school mates clock on.

We were very close as children and went on holidays etc together. The thought of seeing them kiss and cuddle absolutely turns my stomach.

My sister is with me on this, but mum is in denial saying she doesn't see the problem. He hasn't spoken to me directly about it (the announcement was a Facebook post along the lines of "no one has the right to judge us, love conquers all blah blah blah") but if he does I just can't pretend I'm OK with it

I haven't called it or you anything, EatShitDerek I try to avoid name-calling; you've done this yourself.

I have said that many views expressed on this thread are intolerant.

I find the revelling in prejudice is distasteful and would not be tolerated on MN were such prejudices aired about race or sexuality, and yes, there are those whose stomach is turned at the thought of a black person being part of their family or the sexual lives go LGBT people.

I suppose it could be called bigoted.

Well said echt, calling people disgusting, for a legal relationship is unpleasant. A relationship that is abusive, violent, controlling etc would freak me out more than a consensual relationship between cousins.

"calling people disgusting, for a legal relationship is unpleasant."

What about a Woody Allen/Soon-Yi type relationship? That's perfectly legal in the UK, but it's pretty damn stomach churning in my book.

It's also legal for me to be attracted to, and shag someone else's husband but I don't because it's wrong and there's billions of other men on the planet that I could go for. Same goes for my cousins.

There is a massive difference between being " all for family members shagging" and being tolerant and letting other live their lives as they wish.

It might be legal, but I still feel it's wrong. They have the same Grandparents.

Mud - for god's sake woman (presumably), don't forget this is mumsnet - live and let live is akin to revolutionary talk on here

I take issue at being compared with Samantha Brick I am not blonde for starts

Clearly irony, sense of humour and scientific evidence are lost on many on this thread

I will crawl back into my hole so as not to gross out any more delicate souls. Never realised my mere existence could make people spout this bigoted, hysterical drivel.

OP I guess this thread gives you a taste of quite what a dumb place MN has become polarised issue this is.

Ontoblazes glad you have come back, pretty brave when so many people are being so horrible about your parents relationship and therefore about you. I hope no one is this horrible to you in person.

You can't compare racists and homophobes to people who just don't agree with been in relationships with family members.

I did this to compare the freedom with which posters express visceral disgust at a legal activity, where they would not dare to do the same about race or sexuality, even though there are people who find it just as revolting.

There is a massive difference between being " all for family members shagging" and being tolerant and letting other live their lives as they wish

Couldn't have expressed it better myself. mud

mud people are always polite in person. The language, prejudice and foaming-at-the-mouth on this thread would be unthinkable in normal (boring, British) conversation.

It's interesting that a simple, harmless fact about myself can make some many people clutch their pearls recoil in disgust. It's like having a weird superpower

How can people not see that shagging family members is nothing like been in a relationship with someone who is a different race, religion, background or the same sex.

What is the definition of family though? I have only ever met my cousins once or twice in my life and don't see them as "family". Obviously we are related but then we are all related to each other to some extent. Some people would consider second cousins to be family too. Does that mean they also cannot marry? What about third cousins once removed?

What about a Woody Allen/Soon-Yi type relationship? That's perfectly legal in the UK, but it's pretty damn stomach churning in my book.

Actually it isnt legal. He lived with her as a step parent so it would be classed as illegal, the same as it would be if step siblings who had grown up together started a relationship. It isnt just about blood ties.

Ok Shagacousin-phobic

FuckingTheFamily-phobic

Two splendid neologisms, Eatshit

Step siblings really? That seems strange. If both are adults and no blood relation why is that illegal?

absolutely disgusting but if it helps in anyway, its more common then you think, don't think you are some freak manson family.
I always suspected my sister had sex with our cousin.

wow people are actually comparing gay and black to incest lol ...
Please explain how consenting to being with your cousin is NOT a choice like being gay and being black are NOT choices.....
I will wait........

Oh and people saying "its acceptable in other cultures"
Right its also acceptable for parents to marry a 5yr to a 50yr in the Yemen since its the parents choice when the daughter marries.
Can you imagine some pervert standing in court and using the logic on MN as to why he abused a child "oh its acceptable in other cultures that's why i did it"

God get some brain cells and stop sleeping with your cousins it makes you stupid!

Step siblings really? That seems strange. If both are adults and no blood relation why is that illegal?

I remember reading about it and being quite surprised too. Its to do with them growing up together. So if (say) your mum met and married someone else now and you met you new stepbrother and thought "I wouldnt mind a go on that" then that would be fine because you would both be adults and not have had any history of growing up together. But if you had met at the age of 5 and then started a relationship at 25 then that wouldnt be ok if you had been brought up as brother and sister.

At no point must the younger of the two step siblings have lived under the same roof as, or have been treated as part of the same family as, they older step sibling.

Its weird actually, because there is a whole list of people that you cant marry who you have no blood relationship with, such as say your Uncle who is your Uncle because he married your mothers sister. Genetically there is no issue there because you are not blood relations. However, you CAN marry your cousin, his child, who you are related to by blood!

I'd be weirded out too. I wouldn't berate them, but I definitely wouldn't be all for it.

I like that mine and DH's family trees are separate. Probably separated by a highway in another orchard several counties over.

There's loads of people in the world. You can pick anybody.