To not support my brother dating our cousin?

[ChickenDrumsticks]

My brother has announced he is dating our cousin, and has been for around 3 months. She's Mum's sister's daughter. They have been posting lovey-dovey statuses on Facebook and have (according to mum) got very pissy when people have made criticisms. They both have 2 children from previous partners and are looking at buying a house together.

AIBU to not be supportive of this relationship? The kids are all between 8 and 11 and I worry it could adversely affect them. We live in a small town and it's only a matter of time before their school mates clock on.

We were very close as children and went on holidays etc together. The thought of seeing them kiss and cuddle absolutely turns my stomach.

My sister is with me on this, but mum is in denial saying she doesn't see the problem. He hasn't spoken to me directly about it (the announcement was a Facebook post along the lines of "no one has the right to judge us, love conquers all blah blah blah") but if he does I just can't pretend I'm OK with it

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

I have a disability myself and I work with people with disabilities so yes I think I do have very very very good understanding. I also incidentally have a sister with Down's Syndrome. Why is it so wrong to say I would not wish disability on anyone??? . If someone could take away my disability I would let them in a heartbeat

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

Also I don't see disability as a burden. I live my life both in work and out by the social model. And yes I would not wish anyone to have a disabled child, just like i would not wish anyone to have cancer or anyone to die young.

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

Sorry posted to early there
But by the same token I realise that children are born with disabilities and always will be. If I could wish for all children to be born without a disability yes I would wish for that (and I am not talking about aborting children with disabilities at all) but that does not mean I think children with disabilities are a burden.
Personally I think the abortion statistics for Down's Syndrome are awful and I am not blaming the parents at all but the doctors and other medical professionals that give such a bleak outlook.

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

And I am sure Bogey would rather have her son with a disability then not have her son at all. However if she could click her fingers and take that disability away I am sure she would.

[Headofthehive55]

You could also reduce the risk of having a genetically damaged child if you choose to have children earlier. I.e. There are other factors that affect this not just cousins intermarrying. But we seem to be less judgemental on that.

[Bogeyface]

And I am sure Bogey would rather have her son with a disability then not have her son at all. However if she could click her fingers and take that disability away I am sure she would.

Yes
and yes.

His disability isnt a burden to me, but it is a massive burden to him and I would take that away from him in a heart beat .. Interesting thought though, many years ago a friend asked me whether, if I was offered a cure for his brain damage, would I take it knowing it would take away his issues but may alter his personalitiy. 20 years later my answer would still be no, because he is who he is because of his disability. But I would still rather that it had never been a question I needed to consider. And of course DS may disagree with me, I should ask him.

Maybe because he was my PFB, but he was just my son and the things we had to do and treatments he needed where just part of our lives. But he has to live with being "Disabled" and labelled as such. He is the one who doesnt get jobs despite being better qualified than other non disabled people, he is the one in pain when he walks too far, who struggles to cook for himself with only one hand that works properly.......

Strawberry I think that you are right in that every test would be done, and if you take that one step further, would the pregnant royal mother be put under intense pressure to make sure that the child with a testable disability was never born, despite her own feelings? But conditions such as Austism and CP cannot be diagnosed prenatally and it is interesting to consider what would happen if (say) Prince George had been born with severe cerebal palsy or autism to a point where he could not fulfill the functions that a monarch would be expected to carry out. One would hope that it would make no difference, but I cant help thinking that excuses would be made so that a younger sibling could take over and very few people would object.

[BoatyMcBoat]

I suspect a Regent would be appointed, and the King/Queen would make appearances within the limits of their capabilities.