To be annoyed at my dad for making me feel awkward breastfeeding

[crunchymummy]

When he comes round and I feed DS he always leaves the room, "I'm just going to check on the dinner." "I'm just going to go for a walk"

UGH I'd like to feel comfortable feeding my son in my own house

AIBU to be annoyed?

Are you the sort of family who wander about undressed/in and out of each other's rooms/share baths etc?

If not, your dad probably is embarrassed and trying to deal with it tactfully; you should consider his feelings as well as your own.

There was an episode of One Born Every Minute where a mum and dad were present at their grandchild's birth. I thought the dad looked really uncomfortable seeing his daughter in labour. He must have read his paper 3 times from cover to cover.

He wasn't being disrespectful - the opposite, if anything. I feel uncomfortable when I'm with friends who are breastfeeding and I'm a woman. It's not because I think they're doing anything that's wrong or should be hidden, just I'm not used to or comfortable looking at other people's breasts!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties in the American version of OBEM there seem to be about 20 people, including parents and grandparents and probably the milkman too, in the room having a good look at proceedings.

I know I'm the odd one out but I couldn't breastfeed in front of my dad. Just couldn't do it.

Yeah my dad was like this too, as was Fil. Fil used to make everyone leave the room to give me some privacy. Dad used to make his excuses "just gonna go make a drink, do you want one?".

I think they're doing it with good intentions. It's not because they find it disgusting or whatever, they probably think you would be uncomfortable with them sitting there too. Some people just don't know where to look and find it all a bit awkward.

Ditto FIL actually.

squoosh, I have a mental image of the milkman popping by to fill up his bottles

YABU. Great your breast feeding and feel confidant. But I'm sure your dad feels a little akward you getting your boobs out. My dad was the same and he made himself useful when I fed my child in another room. I would of found it akward him sat there to be honest.

Well I think your are a little U, it's his choice.
However I bf in front of my Dad all the time, and not one of us thought anything of it! But then he does live with us atm, so wouldn't have had a choice and I was a bit of a militant feeder, loved feeding when out and about

As Mouse says, I think he's prob also thinking YOU might be more comfortable without him standing there like a lemon.

And you know, maybe watching you breastfeed isn't the most entertaining prospect in the world, I might go for a walk instead too.

Was discussing similar recently. My sister was very disapproving (possibly disgusted) when I told her I BF in front of FIL and even at the table when having dinner out and about with him. What do you do when they are staying with you 5 days after birth and your baby won't stop feeding. I was just shell shocked and trying to get the baby to stop crying.

Looking back, I do feel a bit sorry for him, sure he as uncomfortable but he never said anything, bless him!

My dad is the nicest person ever, definitely pro bf (or ff, whatever works best for the individual - he doesn't care), but I wouldn't bf in front of him without a cover. He'd just be so uncomfortable. Usually he does the same and wonders off to make a cup of tea anyway

My dad was like this, with the added problem of DH and me living in their house for two months around the birth.
Worked to my advantage though, he was desperate to be useful but squeamish about babies and the necessary tasks around them.
But all I had to say was 'I really fancy some cake/tea/massage oil/rampion from the witch's garden next door and he was off like a shot to procure it ASAP.
Often in triplicate.
Give your old man a break.

He is saving him and you any embarrassment. Don't take it personally.

Be patient; it can take a little while for a dad to get used to his dd, whom he remembers being that lovely innocent little bundle he could hold in one hand, pulling out her boobs in front of him. If we lived in a society which encouraged naked swimming at least, he'd be far more cool with it. Give him a chance.

As others have said, it's perfectly possible he's not leaving because he feels uncomfortable, but because he thinks he's being sensitive to your needs - you'll know better than a bunch of random internet strangers whether that's the case. I mean, I can see why you're feeling annoyed, but it may have a more benign explanation.

My dads was the same when SIL get the feeding appendages out. He'd scarper and once said 'she should say when she's going to feed and ask anyone who wants to to leave the room!' I did ask why as she was feeding and it was no different from a bottle. He was very weird about things like that and even the word 'period' got you shouted at.

He's your dad. I think he's allowed to feel a bit uncomfortable.

If you had any manners or decency, you would've left the room or covered yourself up. So inappropriate.

FlowersAndBatshit.

If you're patient with him, he'll probably relax and cope better.
My SIL was the one who found it weird and distasteful, and made negative comments.
FIL was fine about it.

If you had any manners or decency, you would've left the room or covered yourself up

Flowers that is a disgusting attitude.

Breasts are for feeding, there is no need to feel ashamed or cover yourself up. Are you one of those people who think women shouldn't bf in public?

'So inappropriate.'

I'm going to tell the story again, sorry to those who've read it before.
A friend was BF her baby in a park, a woman ample of nork and confident of self.
Two teenage lads walked by and one had a good gawp at her.
His mate wacked him on the back of the neck and said 'Wochu doin' you perve? Them's feeding tits not looking at tits. SORRY MISS'
She giggled so much she got hiccups.

It's not inappropriate to BF a baby.