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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
angielou123 · 09/04/2016 13:21

Now we know why she wouldn't ask by text, there would of been no chance of her getting her hands on the permit. Cheeky cow. Enjoy your holiday!

SistersOfPercy · 09/04/2016 13:23

Just going to leave this pic of my Fecci's snowman from last summer Grin

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"
ssd · 09/04/2016 13:43

Thanks for the update and have a great holiday eastie!

and thanks for cheering up my weekend!

Lulioli · 09/04/2016 14:04

Just got the update. The woman's a grabby moron obviously! Really enjoyed this thread OP. I think you should carry on with a Tenby thread now 😄 I ve never been but googling it now 😝 have a wonderful time and leave Yvonne firmly back in Leyton! Did I mention she is grabby......?

FrameyMcFrame · 09/04/2016 17:00

Good thread, loving the mundane denouement Smile

Woodhill · 10/04/2016 10:43

Does seem ridiculous when they could jump on the underground at her house? Isn't bathe traffic slower driving?

Make sure it is only used this week etc as a one off reason so to speak. I hate being involved with things that give you no benefit whatsoever and may even make things difficult for you. E.g genuine visitors need one and you no longer have a spare one.

bpirockin · 10/04/2016 12:41

I'm with those who say she's going to spring something on you. She knows you'll say no if you have time to think on it, and wants to put you on the spot. I've a friend who does this, and will even tell other people not to mention what he's going to ask because he knows then I don't have time to plan my get-out clause for something he already knows I won't want to do. I'd tell her the truth, that you are tight for time, you'd love to be able to help, but it will have to wait till after your break. If it's important she'll tell you, if not, then that's her decision.

bpirockin · 10/04/2016 12:43

For some reason I couldn't see the update, so just ignore me.

Cheeky mare!

infife · 10/04/2016 13:42

Surprised you didn't bother suggesting that if a few quid for parking is a hardship, that perhaps property investment isn't going to work out for her...!

SooBee61 · 10/04/2016 16:29

Friend's friend will still have to pay the congestion charge, permit or no permit!

Sallyingforth · 10/04/2016 17:07

Sssssh! Don't tell her!

BitOutOfPractice · 10/04/2016 17:22

SooBee61 no she won't because she won't be driving into the zone. She'll be parking at OP's which isn't in the congestion zone

itsalldyingout · 10/04/2016 17:23

OP - How's Tenby?

SirVix - I remember that ice cream parlour. Anyone know if it's still there? If not, detour off M4 and go to Joe's in Swansea. THE BEST vanilla ice cream EVER. AND there's a new parlour just minutes of the M4 near Morriston!

Ooh, I also seem to remember a cafe overlooking the sea at Tenby that did (apparently still does, according to a friend who visited recently) the most amazing fish and chips. I'll always remember going upstairs to the tiny loo and looking out of an even tinier window and thinking it looked exactly like a perfect beach scene painting.

I'm not sure, but I think it's either the same or very close to the cafe - can't miss it as it used to be painted a pastel colour (pink when I was there, but I've seen different colours from people's photos over the years), and it's at the end of a street at the top of a hill overlooking the beach.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 10/04/2016 17:32

Ice cream place and chippy is Feccis. I used to live in Tenby 20 years ago and iirc correctly it's different premesis but same family. I took dd to Tenby a few years ago and the chippy and ice cream place were both still there.

MillieMoodle · 10/04/2016 17:34

Yes Fecci's is still there; ice cream parlour and the chippy. Love Tenby!

WhoaCadburys · 10/04/2016 18:31

Oh.

I thought she wanted you to carry her baby as a surrogate, at the very least Shock.

Just let her get a fine Grin

meridithssister · 10/04/2016 21:14

I love Tenby. Another vote here for Fecci ice cream

thewavesofthesea · 10/04/2016 21:48

Another Tenby lover here. We live around 8 hours drive from it but have been twice already and likely to go again this year. What's not to love? The fish and chip shop near Fecci's was our fav (is it also Fecci's) - they did battered Mars bars last summer which were awesome! We should start a poll - are you a North Beach, South Beach or Castle Sands person? (North Beach every time for me Grin )

starry0ne · 10/04/2016 21:51

Well back from my weekend away..First thing I did check this thread ( after puting DC to bed)

At least you know and you know why she didn't text..

Hope you are having a fabulous time in Tenby

ExplodingCarrots · 10/04/2016 21:59

Hope you're having a nice time in Tenby Op. I live a few miles away and always love a stroll down Tenby on a nice day. I hope you've had a feccis ice cream by now.

Original poster
Eastie77 · 11/04/2016 10:48

Well we are extremely impressed with Tenby (or Dinbych-y-pysgod if you prefer. Rolls of the tongue so easily:)

It's all quite beautiful, lovely beaches and the houses/landscape so colourful. We haven't been to the famous ice-cream place but it's on the list if we have time.

We are in a lovely hotel about 10mins walk up a slightly steep hill from the centre. DD loved the beach, DP has been persuaded to try Fish and Chips which he actually liked (he is Italian and quite sniffy about UK food generally), I keep laughing inwardly whenever a local refers to DS as the baba. Love Wales. I think I've decided we are going to sell our silly overpriced shoebox in East London and buy a cottage here. Just need to find out what the parking policies are:)

I caved and sent Yvonne a text explaining the rules about the permit. I 100% agree she prob told the friend she could get her long term free parking near central London (each permit has enough spaces for 10 or 12 visits I think) and is annoyed with me/embarrassed as she will now lose face. She didn't quite seem to grasp that I cannot just sell her a permit even if I wanted to which I don't.

There is no point in her keeping the permit though. The HA will only issue new ones to residents and it expires at the end of April anyway. Can't remember which poster also lives in East London and asked about Council fines but the permit is not issued by the council and no rules have been broken in that I can give a visitor's parking permit to anyone. I think a private company called Wing Security issues the fines .

I live about 5mins drive from the start of the Congestion Zone by the way.

Yep I have to hand back all 3 permits at the end of April in order to get new visitor ones (my own car permit is separate). Not sure what happens if I only have 2. Hopefully Yvonne will not go all crazy and decide to hold the permit hostage. If she does I will have to start a MN campaign #freethepermitone

Ok, planning to visit some of the surrounding villages today and DP wants to visit a Castle!

OP posts:
millimat · 11/04/2016 10:52

I'm thinking I need to visit Tenby!

StayAChild · 11/04/2016 11:03

If you get chance, take the short boat ride across to Caldey Island. We were treated to dolphins around the boat on the way across. It's an interesting little village with a famous monastery, lighthouse and a medieval priory, plus a shop and cafe.The beach there is stunning if the weather is being kind to you. Smile

RTKangaMummy · 11/04/2016 11:23

Thanks for the update - glad you and your family are enjoying Tenby SmileSmileSmile

LaContessaDiPlump · 11/04/2016 11:46

My mum was from near Tenby - I loved visiting Equinox! Very hippy shop which sadly is not as richly stocked as it used to be but it was heaven for an angsty teenager.

If you fancy a trip to soulless shopping emporia then do make a visit to Haverfordwest's retail parks Grin and St Bride's Bay is a sweet little beach (undervisited too) if you fancy a drive further afield.

I think Dinbych-y-psygod means 'little bridge of the fishes', which I've always liked...... Google says it means 'Fortlet of the fish' but what does it know!