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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
diddl · 09/04/2016 09:01

So, had to be face to face so that you couldn't/wouldn't say no?

Of course she could have asked by text/phone.

You should tell her that you have something important to tell her re the permit but it'll have to wait until you get back, so better not use it!!

AristotlesTrousers · 09/04/2016 09:06

I think the outcome was worth it for entertainment value! Am really hoping Yvonne is unreasonable again in the future so you can come and update us, OP. Grin

Fedup21 · 09/04/2016 09:58

How do the permits work? Can she use it three more times or multiple times? Can she apply for a replacement to her address? I'm surprised you gave it to her-you're nicer than me!

BoboBunnyH0p · 09/04/2016 10:10

All for parking, I do hope you get it back. Please do update us. Have a lovely holiday.

treacletoffee23 · 09/04/2016 10:19

I insist on photos of every place you visit in Tenby lol

OpalQuartz · 09/04/2016 10:22

If there were only three spaces left on the permit won't she be able to see from the previous times ot was used that she needs to add the date and time?

OpalQuartz · 09/04/2016 10:24

And car reg. Also she could use one of those erasable frixion pens to use it extra times.

diddl · 09/04/2016 10:32

I'm quite concerned for you Op that the pass will be wrongly used/filled in & they'll revoke all of yours & you'll get a fine!

If it's connected to HA, how can someone who doesn't live there use it?

You need to learn to say "no"!

ILikeUranus · 09/04/2016 10:34

Thanks for the update OP, awesome! I fucking LOVE your text her telling her to meet you for instructions, haha you should actually send that.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 09/04/2016 10:36

I'd have loved it if you'd have said oh no, if only you'd have said on the phone, my neighbour's borrowed our passes. I could've saved you a wasted journey Grin

theclick · 09/04/2016 10:38

She sounds like such a twat.

whois · 09/04/2016 10:43

Hang on a min, she loves in Leyton? As on directly on the central line to Liverpool Street? Why wouldn't she just do that rather than drive to you and get the bus to bank??

Hissy · 09/04/2016 10:49

I'm concerned too about the pass. You should not have given this to her.

What happens if she doesn't give it back?

TippyTappyLappyToppy · 09/04/2016 10:50

I think it's to do with where her friend is coming in from, she doesn't want to pay the congestion charge so presumably the OP lives just outside it. It does all sound very long winded and ridiculous though, when Mad Yvonne lives on the central line, I agree. Is Leyton within the congestion charge zone? If so then the woman should just drive to one of the stations further out, park there and jump on a train to Leyton, meet her friend and go on from there.

cozietoesie · 09/04/2016 11:07

She'll likely have presented it to the friend as a done deal and had no easy way to get out of it without losing face with the friend.

Fairenuff · 09/04/2016 11:20

Why did you give it to her? That is going to come back and bite you. You'll never see that pass again and won't be able to renew yours. The only recovery is a quick text to Yvonne now to say that you've just checked and the permit is non-transferable so you are going to report it as lost.

Either that or sit back and wait for the headache to start.

I'm really surprised you gave in to her tbh, I thought you were prepared to stand firm on whatever she asked for Confused

SilverBirchWithout · 09/04/2016 11:29

OP, I'd be included to be very very mysterious about the parking permit rules over several days.

Start off with a 'there I something important your friend needs to know when using the permit'

When asked what? A few hours days later replying:

'It's quite complicated maybe I should talk direct to friend when I get back' you could then tell the friend that your relative put you in a bit of an awkward situation etc.

Or tell relative 'it's very complicated I would rather wait until we get back as I need to show you something'

OVienna · 09/04/2016 11:31

enrique I bet the OP does wish she'd said that...one if those things you think of afters....

OP you need to tell us when she returns it.

SilverBirchWithout · 09/04/2016 11:35

Included = inclined

Helencandy28 · 09/04/2016 12:03

I really hate people like that. I've come across 1 or 2 over the years who only get in touch when they want something, or are after some gossip, or need a shoulder,, but are not interested at any other time. I would be tempted to ignore any requests from her in the future. As for her not wanting to use her credit in a phone call she could have asked you to call her instead or sent you an email or Facebook message. Enjoy your trip.

Catmuffin · 09/04/2016 12:04

I'd have loved it if you'd have said oh no, if only you'd have said on the phone, my neighbour's borrowed our passes. I could've saved you a wasted journey

That's exactly why Yvonne wouldn't explain on the phone beforehand, so the op didn't have time to think of an excuse like that. Cheeky cow!

UtterFuckery · 09/04/2016 12:07

Leyton is outside the congestion zone and only about 15 mins direct on the tube to Bank.

I bet Yvonne and the friend were hoping to have a limitless permit to park near the City on an ongoing basis - doesn't make sense just for the conference.

OP, what happens if you don't have the permit when you go to renew? Also, if the council catches on that you've given one to someone else could you be fined?

(Another east Londoner here with parking strife)

almostthirty · 09/04/2016 12:31

Love Tenby. Have a day out at Folly Farm it's brilliant !

kvilebu · 09/04/2016 12:59

I think she is really cheeky.
Asking for the visitor's permit for the days of the conference is not that bad and I would probably have let her borrow it for that. After all Yvonne is also going to the conference so the OP would be helping her.
But asking to have the passes for the random friend of Yvonne to park whenever she feels like it is outrageous.
Jog on.

SirVixofVixHall · 09/04/2016 13:11

Pp has reminded me of the old Italian ice-cream parlour in Tenby. I used to go there with my Mum, I would always have a banana split. Lovely.
Anyway, I live not terribly far from Tenby and it was SNOWING this morning. Blue skies and Springy now though.